


Flower Girl

by Taehyungsai



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anger, Angst, F/M, Fanfiction, Fluff and Smut, Gon - Freeform, Hunter x Hunter - Freeform, Kurapika - Freeform, Manga & Anime, Reader-Insert, Sad, Smut, Weddings, annoying sister, killua - Freeform, kurapika gets married idk, kurapika x reader - Freeform, kurta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:02:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 42
Words: 47,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28627713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taehyungsai/pseuds/Taehyungsai
Summary: ''I love you,'' you whisper under your breath as the love of your life walks down the aisle to marry another woman.↳ A Kurapika fanfiction.© 𝐭𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐚𝐢𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎∘₊✧───✧₊∘ 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑  ∘₊✧───✧₊∘𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭! 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞.𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎
Relationships: Kurapika (Hunter X Hunter) & Reader, Kurapika (Hunter X Hunter)/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

''I'm going to get married!'' your extremely loud sister storms uninvited into your apartment. You instantly regret giving her your spare key, because she always had her ways of attending your place unwanted. You didn't have a hatred against your sister, in fact, both of you were quite close. But she was completely different from you.

She was a bubbly social butterfly while you rather sat at home, writing and drinking tea. Oh and books, you loved reading books. You aspired to be an author one day, knowing that branch was a difficult one, but you kept hope. You gave up several things to pursue your dream. But you always told yourself that in the end, it would all be worth it.

You left home around the age of 19 and moved to Tokyo. You rented a small apartment just outside of the big city. You had to leave your family, friends and boyfriend for it. Your boyfriend... better to be called the love of your life. He was your soulmate. When you moved away, both of you sent letters to each other, as that is the only way to keep contact. Eventually, you stopped receiving letters and at that point, you knew it was over.

You still were madly in love with a man who had most likely forgotten about you already. It was sad, but it wasn't impossible for you to get a glimpse of happiness once in a while. You had a sweet cat, Sakura, whom you loved immensely. 

''Hmm, really,'' you hummed as you stepped forward to the happiest girl you had ever seen. She held out her hand, showing off the beautiful ring that was around her slender ring finger. you leaned over, studying the diamond curiously. It was beautiful.

''Who's the lucky man?'' you ask, taking a big gulp of tea and fold your arms in front of your chest, waiting for her answer. Her smile slightly drops and she shuffles nervously.

''Eh... You know him... Please, don't hate me,'' 

you frown your eyebrows slightly, ''just tell me, Rin.''

''it's Kurapika''


	2. Bridesmaid

''Kurapika?'' you hiss angrily ''you're kidding, right? You know I used to date him, right?''

''Y/n... I'm so sorry! I should've told you sooner that we started dating... I was just too afraid to tell you!'' she apologised and took my hands in hers. You narrow your eyes, ''so, you knew you were wrong and still continued to date someone I truly loved?''

She was quiet, probably too ashamed to admit her fault. She let go of my hands and held her head low, ''I'm sorry. I love him... more than you ever did and ever could. He loves me, Y/n... I thought you already moved on. He said you stopped replying to his letters nine years ago!''

You tilt your head to the side, your hair moving slightly in your vision, ''What? He is the one who stopped responding to me!'' you say now angry, balling your fist in frustration.

''Listen Y/n,'' Rin says, stepping towards my door, ''I'm not trying to argue with you. I thought you would be happy for me. It's been nine years. Nine fucking years. Get yourself together and move on, just like he did. I hope you'll understand how I feel and be happy for me. Your sister is getting married for fucks sake!'' she clenched her jaw and shook her head in disappointment before closing the door with a loud bang. Leaving me alone in my apartment.

''Shit!'' you whisper falling onto your knees. You let the cup of tea fall out of your hands, breaking into pieces as it hit the hard wooden floor. You brought your hands to your face, covering your eyes as you let warm tears stream down your face.

It had been nine years since you and Kurapika broke off contact. All along you thought he was the one who stopped sending the letters. You thought it was him who didn't want to be in touch anymore. But apparently, it was the post office's fault from the start.

She was marrying him now. It could have been you. It could've been you with that beautiful diamond ring around your finger. It was unfair. You were in heartbroken pain for years when it could've been so different. At one point you even thought he passed away because nobody mentioned him to you.

But it was your sister who knew he was well and alive. It was her who was going to marry him and not you.

You stood up and ran to your front door, opening it with a heavy swing, almost breaking the wall because of the force. You ran down the stairs and went your way out of the big apartment building. You spotted the brown ponytail of your sister and ran towards her and yanked her arm.

''Ow!'' she yelped and her eyes softened as she saw your now red and puffy eyes from crying ''Y/N? what is it?''

''Take me to him,'' you sobbed ''take me to see him. I need to see him.''

Rin took in a sharp breath. Not sure if she should let you see him. She knew you still had feelings for him, I mean it was obvious, you came after her crying. She contemplated for a few seconds but eventually gave him. She nodded and pursed her lips.

''Come,'' she whispered and started walking and you followed her.

°•. ✿ .•°

You stepped into the small home you knew belonged to your sister. The warmth of the heather hit your face and you faced Rin, who was obviously not feeling too comfortable. She took another loud breath and opened the door that leads to the living room. You quietly followed her into the room.

He was there.

He sat behind a desk, writing stuff down in a little notebook.

''Welcome home, angel,'' he said with his angelic voice.

Tears started to burn into your eyes again and you quickly blinked them away.

''Kurapika, honey!'' she exclaimed happily and hugged him from behind, flashing you a malicious smile. You fiddled uncomfortably with your hands, ''hi...''

Kurapika moved his head slowly to face you and his gaze met yours. His lips parted and his eyes increased size. He was just as shocked as you are. He still had the most beautiful eyes and his blonde hair looked soft like a cloud.

''Y-Y/N?'' he said in a daze ''w-what are you doing here?'' he stood up and walked towards me, he wrapped his arms around me and my body tensed up, ''S-Shit Kurapika!'' I sobbed again ''I missed you so damn much! I didn't know where you were all these years!''

You eyed your sister who clearly looked bored of your reunion, ''Y/N?'' she asked.

Kurapika let go of me and both of us faced her.

''Since Kurapika and I are getting married, will you be my bridesmaid?''


	3. I'm sorry

Bridesmaid... the bridesmaid was all you were to both of them. You didn't even know why you agreed to her offer. It was very clear she wanted to mess with you one way or another, you could see it in her eyes.

You stepped back into your apartment and let yourself fall onto the soft, beige couch. You hid your face in a pillow and let the sad feeling take over your mind. Of course, you were sad, but it was still your sister and you loved her. You wanted to be happy for her.

But Kurapika. He was the first man in your life who truly loved you for who you were. Your father hated you. He always told you how much of a mistake you were. When you told him you were going to move out, he was happy, to say the least. He was thrilled. He even helped you pack your stuff and helped you find an affordable apartment.

He sends you money every month so you can stay away from him and your mother. You knew your sister had moved to Tokyo as well a few months after you moved, but you didn't meet up her much. Everything started to make sense. Her and Kurapika probably moved in together, which is why you weren't invited, like ever, and she would always come to you uninvited. Avoiding you wanting to visit her.

You sighed and walked over to your kitchen wanting to grab some comfort food, but you didn't have anything.

''Guess I'll have to go to the grocery store,'' you whisper to yourself and grabbed your coat and scarf as you walked out of your apartment.

°•. ✿ .•°

You leaned on your cart as you walked through the cramped grocery store. Your cart was filled with all sorts of snacks, mochi, pocky, ice cream and a lot of instant ramen. You sighed as you walked over to the cash register until you heard a familiar voice.

You turned around and saw the blonde man talking to one of the people who work there. Once he was done, he turned around and met your gaze.

''Shit,'' I whisper and quickly turn my head, an obvious blush coating my cheeks.

''Hey! Y/N!'' he called and he stood next to you ''what a coincidence!''

''Yeah...'' you say, shooting him a fake smile, ''a-anyway, I need to pay, so I can't talk right now,''

''Ah...'' he nodded his head ''another time then! We should grab a coffee sometime, we have to catch up.

''Mhm,'' I mumble '' maybe someday,''

I handed all of my groceries over to the lady in front of me, ''that'll be 6.244,70 yen'' she says with a smile. I fiddle in my pockets, trying to find either some cash or my credit card, but I forgot both at home.

''E-Eh... I'm sorry I for-''

''I'll pay for her,'' he broke me off and handed the money to the woman, ''that's very sweet!'' she smiles ''what a lovely couple, you two look very good together.''

Stop.

''Ah... no'' Kurapika chuckled ''I'm engaged to someone else actually''

You didn't have to say that.

''Yeah, anyway, I have to go now'' I say hastily, grabbing all of my stuff and wanting to leave the store but I get stopped in my tracks when I feel someone grab my arm.

''Y/N, you don't have to avoid me... at least let me walk you home.''

You nod before sighing loudly walking out of the grocery store. The wet raindrops hit your face as you look up at the sky. You hadn't even noticed it started raining until you went outside. Only a few seconds passed and it started raining like crazy.

''Let's run,'' I mumble and Kurapika chuckles, ''alright''

°•. ✿ .•°

''Waah!'' Kurapika sighs and he walks into your apartment with his hands behind his head ''did you know it was going to rain?''

You nod your head no. You stare at him in awe. He was soaked. His coat was wet and his damp hair was sticking against his forehead. You walked over to your bathroom and grabbed a towel which you threw into his face.

''Hey!'' he chuckled as he caught the right on time, ''watch out!''

You giggled quietly but stopped when you saw him smile warmheartedly at you, seeing you smile because of him. He had missed you more than you would ever be able to believe and imagine. It was never his choice to be apart for so long. Even he would do everything all over again if he could.

But the mistakes were already made and nothing could be done to save you two. Right? Your sister was his fiancé and you were nothing more than a bridesmaid to them. You didn't mean much in their perfect 'picture'.

You sighed to yourself and let yourself fall onto your couch and he took the seat next to you. He looked at you, taking all of your features in as if he forgot what you looked like and didn't want to forget again. He stared at you, studying your face, trying to understand why you were avoiding him earlier.

Of course, he knew and he didn't think it was weird. He didn't judge you. He felt the same.

''If I could do it all over again, I would do it in a heartbeat,'' he whispered as he gave you the saddest smile you had ever seen.

''I'm sorry''


	4. Nine years ago

You watch Kurapika stand up and dust off his pants. He didn't look at you as he stepped towards the door, holding his head low. His hand rested on the door handle. He was ready to leave you once again. Hopeless and alone.

''You know... we could catch up and have dinner together if that's okay with you.'' You say as you stare off into the distance.

''That would be nice,'' Kurapika said and you looked up at him, ''I'll text Rin I'm staying at a friends' house tonight.''

You nod and walk to your fridge opening it and looking at what you have to offer.

''Hmm... we could make pizza if you want?'' you side-eyed him as he put his phone back into his pocket and shot you a sweet smile.

''Uh... remember last time you cooked dinner for me?'' he said and pursed his lips awkwardly together.

''HEY!'' you loudly said with a hint of sarcasm, acting as you were truly offended ''it wasn't that bad! You just have no taste, Kurta''

''It was!'' he defended himself ''even your cat left the room because of the horrible smell!''

''Wow, I'm offering to make you pizza and you're just going to roast me like this?''

''Yup,'' he chuckled and walked up to you. He stood still in front of you and stared into your eyes.

''Whatever, Kurta. You make your own pizza and I'll make mine. We'll see who's is better then.'' You said with a smirk plastered on your face as you rested your hands sassily on your hips.

''Alright,'' he nodded and bopped his head ''but once you find out you're a bad chef you can't have some of my pizza! Order your own then, alright? And the loser will have to clean the kitchen afterwards!''

''Huh,'' your jaw dropped, ''that is just unfair!''

''That is,'' he said as he takes a step towards me, pointing his finger at me ''the price you'll have to pay. Literally.''

You crossed your arms in front of your chest and rolled your eyes. Not liking where this was going. You knew you weren't the worst at cooking, but Kurapika had never made something for you before, so you weren't sure what to expect.

''What?'' he chuckled as he as well, crossed his arms in front of his chest ''are you scared you'll lose?''

''Definitely not,'' you say and look away ''I'll make the biggest mess just so you have more stuff to clean up!''

''Wow!'' he gasped and held his hand on his heart, pretending to be hurt by hurt by your words ''how mean of you!''

You giggled and shook your head as you took all of the ingredients both of you would need to create a nice pizza. You set all of them down on the kitchen counter and you took a step back.

''One... two... three... START!''

°•. ✿ .•°

''WAH THE SMELL!'' you whine and close your eyes as the two pizza's you and Kurapika made are in front of you. Steam still coming off both of them as they freshly came out of the oven. ''I CAN'T TAKE IT!''

Kurapika chuckles as he looks at you, ''is it bad or good?''

''Too good!'' you say happily as you look at the pizza. Your eyes almost turn into hearts and your stomach starts to make noise as you get hungrier by the second.

''Let's have a bite of each and then vote which one is the best, okay?'' Kurapika suggests and you nod quickly.

Both of you munched on both pizza's and looked at each other.

''Well? How was mine?'' you said haughtily as you balled your fists and put them on your waist. You watched Kurapika who eyed you and a boyish grin appeared on his face.

''You improved,''

''Huh,'' your jaw dropped as he looked at you. His eyes sparkled and he smiled warmheartedly at you as he watched you being confused.

''But mine was better,'' he laughed and walked over to the couch, ''have fun cleaning!''

''NOT fair!'' you huffed and couldn't help but let a soft chuckle escape your lips. You missed having fun with him and messing around with each other. It was something you couldn't do at home since Rin would fake cry most of the time and your father would always blame you.

But whenever you spent time with Kurapika you had fun. Everything felt natural and comfortable. You had missed every single part of him. Every part. A blush formed on your cheeks and you shook the lewd thoughts out of your mind.

Gross.

°•. ✿ .•°

After both of you were done eating you put the plates into the sink and started washing them. You disliked this so much which was exactly why you would order stuff most of the time. You just hated seeing the dirty water, it made you feel nauseous.

You eyed Kurapika who sat in front of the tv as he watched some anime that was currently airing. His orbs stared into the screen and you smiled to yourself. It had been a long time since you felt this comfortable and nice.

''Rin wants me to come home...'' he huffs and he stands up and puts his coat on ''I had so much fun today, Y/N. I have missed this,''

You nod as the reality crashes back into your mind. For a few hours, you had forgotten that he was going to marry your sister. The love of your life was marrying your sister. The nice time you spent with him made you completely forget the situation you were in.

You nod slowly and let go off the plates and you dried your hands before putting them into your pockets, ''I had fun too,''

''I'll see you soon,'' he said and smiled once more before leaving your apartment the same way he did nine years ago.


	5. Dinner

''Would you care to join us for dinner tonight?'' your sister asked you over the phone. You sighed and let your phone rest between your cheek and your shoulder as you folded your clothes neatly.

''You don't have to be so formal.''

''How else am I supposed to ask?'' you heard her sigh loudly, obviously annoyed by your comment.

''I don't know... be like, dinner. Tonight. Join,'' you suggested.

''Whatever, petty girl. Wanna join or not?''

''Sure,''

And with that said she hung up. You weren't looking forward to dinner at all and facepalmed, not understanding why you even agreed. You wanted to be happy for your sister, but after the pizza dinner with Kurapika she had been off.

She wasn't nice to you and would call you names and when you told her you didn't like it, she would say she's just joking and you shouldn't be so petty. Kurapika probably told her he stayed with you that night and she didn't like it. That's the only possible reason as to why she would act like this. She was jealous.

The only good thing was that she didn't visit you anymore. Ever since she told you she is going to marry your ex she has not once come to your apartment. And you loved it. Just sucked that she would have to marry your ex for that to finally stop happening.

You were lying if you said you weren't surprised she invited you for dinner tonight. I mean, you would have to see her and Kurapika together.

''Why don't you just tell her?'' your best friend, who is your roommate at the same time, says while his eyes are glued to the tv with a lollypop in his mouth.

''Tell her what exactly, Azami?''

''Don't act oblivious. That you think she's a piece of shit and that you love Kurapika, of course!''

You eye him as he aggressively presses the buttons on the controller in his hand. His dark blue orbs were in full sight as he had put half of his black hair up into a bun. He cursed a few times at the characters in the game before he yawned and let himself fall back into the couch.

''I can't just tell my sister she's a piece of shit,''

''Truth hurts,'' he shrugs casually.

''You're supposed to help me you dipshit!'' you whine and sit next to him, hoping he'll give you some real advice. He looks at you and takes the lollypop out of his mouth with a pop.

''Piece. Of. Shit.'' He winks and a smirk appears on his face, '' don't you agree?''

You roll your eyes and frown at him. You didn't disagree.

''For real, Y/N. it's obvious she's scheming something. Why else would she want you to come to her house?''

''Because she's my sister?''

''And that's where you're wrong. She never invites you, it is because Kurapika is there and she wants you to be upset. She is a piece of shit, no, even worse! She's like-''

''Okay, okay, calm your ass!'' you quickly say before he starts completely insulting your sister to the bone. You stand up and walk to your closet, picking a dress to wear for dinner.

°•. ✿ .•°

'' 'Kay'' you sigh as you stand in front of the door, ''here goes nothing.''

You knock on the door and after a few seconds, you meet your sister's gaze. Her smile drops slightly when she sees you. Her dark blue eyes stare into yours for a second and you could swear she looked at you with hate for a second. She takes a deep breath and flashes you the fakest smile ever.

''Come in,'' she tries to sound as nice as possible.

You nod and purse your lips together. Not liking the tension between both of you. You walked into the warm home and saw... your dad and your mom.

Great. So that's what Azami meant when he said she was scheming something.

''Well, fuck,'' you say to yourself as you walk towards the dining table that was already filled with food. Your dad, mom and Kurapika were sitting already. Your dad shot you a glare for a second before looking back at your mom. Both don't even bother greeting you.

''Y/N!'' Kurapika tries awkwardly. He notices the tension and awkwardness as well, of course, how couldn't he?

''Hey, Pika'' you say and feel his arms wrap around you, embracing you. You stood still and didn't even think about returning the hug. He chuckled softly as he let go of you and pointed to the chair next to your mother.

You nodded and sat next to your mother. Rin sat down next to Kurapika and held his hand as she glanced at you with a small malicious smile on her lips.

''So,'' your dad coughed as we all began to eat, '' my beautiful daughter is getting married, huh?''

''Yes!'' your sister squealed and held onto Kurapika's arm, ''I can't wait to marry the love of my life.''

You took in a sharp breath. She knew exactly what she was doing, but she didn't care about your feelings whatsoever.

''I always thought you two looked perfect together,'' your father said with a smile.

''So you knew?'' you snarled and gave a disgusting look to your dad who returned a hateful look himself.

''Of course, I knew. I want to know what's going on in my daughter's life.''

You scoffed at him, ''good to know you don't even see me as your daughter anymore. Thank god, you old man!''

You stood up, causing your chair to scoot backwards.

''Well done, Rin. This is exactly what you wanted, wasn't it? You're a damn piece of shit. No, even worse you're a-''

''Leave.'' Your dad demanded angrily as he stood up as well. His eyes are dark and full of hate.

''No fucking problem,'' you hissed and looked at Kurapika who obviously wanted to say something, but you walked away before he could even start a sentence.

You swung the door shut and you stood outside. Your body was pumping with adrenaline and anger.

''Well, that was a great dinner.''


	6. Horrible mistake

''Ugh!'' you groaned irritated as you let yourself fall onto the couch. It had been a few hours after the stupid dinner incident. Azami wasn't home tonight, which you thought was nice as you did not feel like explaining everything that happened.

You were about to grab some ice cream from the freezer, but get stopped in your tracks when you hear someone knocking on your door about a million times. You look at the clock. It was midnight already.

''Who would be here at this time?'' you whisper to yourself as you walk to the door and opening it.

''Kurapika?''

''H-Hey!'' he says and you narrow your eyes. The scent of the devil's drink was strong and you sighed.

''Come in,'' you sigh and roll your eyes ''why have you been drinking?''

''Hah....'' He sighs and let himself fall on your couch, almost falling asleep, ''Rin and I... argument... I asked her you know... why she invited your parents... she said it would be good for you... I um... Yeah...''

You cross your arms in front of your chest as you try to understand what Kurapika was telling you. You looked at him. He was laying on your couch with one leg and one arm on the ground as his other arm was resting on his forehead while he had closed his eyes.

''You know,'' he hummed and sat up straight, holding his stomach ''if I had known she invited your... parents... I would've stopped her.''

''I know,'' you sigh and sit down in front of the couch as you bring your knees up to your chest, ''I know'' you whisper one more time.

''Y/N,'' you hear him say and you feel his hand ruffle your hair before you turn your head to face him. He sits up straight and pat next to him and take the seat.

''It might be the alcohol but I'm very sad,'' he said and showed you a weak smile.

''Why?''

''Because,'' he sighed and closed his eyes ''I should have tried harder for you,''

''Kurapika...''

''No'' he interrupted you and waved his hand in front of your face ''stop. It's true. I should've done things differently and you know it.''

''It's okay now, Pika. I promise. I want you to be happy, don't let me ruin it and get in your way. Some things are just not... not meant to be.'' Your heart breaks at your own words, but you knew you had to make him feel like things were over for you as well. You didn't want your sister to have a bigger grudge on you than she already had.

''Do you really think so?''

''Think what?'' you tilt your head and look straight into his beautiful eyes. Shit, why did he have to be this mesmerizing? He was too stunning.

''We weren't meant to be?''

''Well... I... I don't know, you're marrying my sister it doesn't feel right to answer that question truthfully.''

''I think that if two people are meant to be together, eventually they'll find their way back,'' he says and bites his bottom lip, trying to fight back the tears.

You chuckle softly, ''I believe so too,'' you look up to him and smile, ''but that's not always the case.''

He slowly nods and looks at your bookshelf that was filled with all of your favourite manga. His eyes fall on the little picture frame with you and your sister in it, both smiling and looking as happy as ever.

''I think you love her Kurapika... you wouldn't have proposed to her if you didn't.''

He didn't answer and met your gaze. You gave him a sweet smile as you tried to comfort him.

''If I hadn't asked her to let me see you that day... if you hadn't seen me, you wouldn't have felt this upset, Pika.''

''So?''

''So, please don't regret the choices you made. Everything happens for a reason.''

''How is it that the second I saw you I feel this way? Doesn't that mean something special? I regret everything! I'm so confused, I wish I could go back in time.''

You shook your head and looked down at your hands. You didn't know how to handle this and didn't exactly understand what he felt.

''You're drunk, silly. That's why you're feeling so emotional right now. You'll feel different tomorrow, you just need the alcohol out of your system.''

''I may be a little drunk, but I'm not stupid, Y/n. Everything I'm telling you is the truth, it's not the alcohol. I just want to be honest about my feelings.''

You looked at him as he pursed his lips together. His brows slightly frowned and his eyes stared confidently into yours. You felt your bottom lip shake as so many emotions flew through you. You knew what he was trying to say, but you had to push him away. You needed to. You were nothing more than a bridesmaid. You wanted to see your sister happy.

You would feel like a cruel person if you stole her fiancé away from her. Your eyes softened as you thought back to the time you two were together. He was the first person you had ever met who accepted you for the way you are. Never judged you, always stood up for you and protected you with everything he had.

But that time was over. He wasn't yours anymore and all you did right now was make him feel confused and sad. But you love him so much. Even after all those years of being apart, not a day went by without thinking about him. He was too special to you.

You take in a deep breath and feel his warm hand brush your cheek. His slender fingers trailed down to your lips. His thumb slid over your bottom lip before he gently took your chin in between his pointy finger and his thumb. Your mind went blank and you didn't know how to respond to the situation. He slowly leaned in and mumbled a few words you couldn't understand before you felt his warm lips touch yours.

Your eyes widen like crazy when you realise you're kissing him. Your heart starts beating in your throat, but you don't pull away. Your mind tells you to run, but your heart tells you to stay. And since your love for him is too strong, you couldn't pull away. Your lips move perfectly in sync as if you both are made for each other and a single tear rolls down your cheek and gets wiped away quickly by Kurapika's thumb.

''It's okay,'' he whispers in between the kiss and places both of his hands on your heated cheeks. You sobbed a little every time your lips got separated. You felt so guilty. So incredibly guilty. But you enjoyed it. You had missed his touch more than anything. You had craved it for so long and for one night you had it back.

For one night you had him back.

°•. ✿ .•°

You tried to close the door to your bedroom as quiet as possible since Kurapika was fast asleep on the couch wrapped in the blankets you gave him. You took a deep breath and sat down on your bed as you called your best friend, Azami, who luckily picked up the phone quickly. The second you hear his voice, you break into tears again.

''I made a horrible mistake.''


	7. I cheated

''Well, you're in a lot of trouble,'' Azami said as he frustratingly looked at Kurapika who was sleeping on the couch, ''he's laying on my spot! I can't play games this way!'' he whined.

''Is that really the biggest problem here?'' you sigh annoyed as you looked at your best friend who tried his best to move Kurapika without waking him up.

''Yeah, isn't it?''

''Ugh! You're no help AGAIN'' you frown and let yourself fall onto the chair at the dining table.

''We kissed, Azami... I kissed my sister's fiancé''

''He kissed you first didn't-''

You jumped up slightly as you saw your door handle moving rapidly as if someone was desperate to get in. You frowned at Azami who didn't care about anything but finding a good spot on the couch to feed his gaming addiction.

You shook your head and laughed as you opened the door and met your sisters piercing eyes. You two had a staring contest for at least five seconds before she pushed you away and walked into your apartment, uninvited as usual.

She looked around with her arms crossed in front of her chest as she looked annoyed. She observed the room careful before her orbs landed on the person she had been missing since last night. Kurapika.

''What is he doing here?'' she glanced at you as discomfort and insecurities were seen obviously on her face.

''The guy said he could beat me in a game so I invited him over to play games, he passed out though. Mind you, he did not win not even once!'' Azami haughtily said as he saved you with a lie he made up on the spot. Kurapika's head was on Azami's lap while he was aggressively playing his favourite game as he cursed under his breath a few times.

''Hmm,'' Rin hummed, barely believing the lie the black-haired man told her, ''tell him to come home right after he wakes up.''

Your eyes met her icy cold ones as she walked past you and left your apartment. She closed the door and you stood there whilst staring at Azami who didn't look bothered by the situation. You fiddled with your fingers as you stared at the blonde-haired boy who was still asleep.

You took in a deep breath and went to take a shower. You knew once Kurapika woke up, you had to talk to him about what happened last night. An icky feeling was lingering in your body as you let the warm water hit your skin.

°•. ✿ .•°

''Let me take you out for breakfast,'' Kurapika said when he saw you walk back into the living room, eyes focused on your phone. You looked up from your device and locked eyes with Kurapika.

''Lunch,'' you corrected him.

''Lunch,'' he chuckled ''let's go. We have stuff to talk about,''

You nodded slowly and huffed, ''yes we do,'' you said under your breath.

Both of you took your coat and scarf and walked out of the apartment. Leaving Azami to his games, who didn't even say goodbye because he was too focused. You two awkwardly walked next to each other until Kurapika took your arm and dragged you into a restaurant.

You sat down and looked around you. It was a cute looking place with not too many people around you. You looked at the man who sat in front of you. He was scanning the menu carefully and ordered two coffees and a sandwich for both of you.

''So, how's your job at the café going?'' he suddenly asked and you frown your eyes. Not recalling ever getting a job at a café. You tilted your head slightly as your hair lightly fell into your face.

''What do you mean? I've never had a job at a café,'' you tell him and he nods whilst chuckling awkwardly.

''Rin told me so,'' he whispers loud enough for you to hear him. You scoff and look to the side.

''Let me guess,'' you speak and Kurapika looks into your eyes ''she told you she writes, moved to Tokyo for writing and studies literature.''

Kurapika's eyes widen as he starts to understand what's going on, ''pretty much so. So, she lied to me?''

You raise your brows and nod, ''I didn't know she was so insecure about herself,'' you laugh and rest your head on your hand. Kurapika looks at you with a face sadder than before. ''Hey what's wrong?'' you ask him but he shakes his head quickly, trying to reassure you that nothing's wrong.

''Pika... we need to talk about last night...''

''I don't regret it,'' he states and looks at you with a serious face. His gaze meets yours and you almost get lost in his beautiful orbs as he doesn't blink and doesn't break the eye contact. But the feeling of guilt fills you again and you exhale.

''You know, I have feelings for you. I've always had them. They never faded away, even when I started to date Rin.''

''Then why did you propose to her, Kurapika? It doesn't make any sense. You keep saying these things but it doesn't add up. Why didn't you try harder for me? Why didn't you try harder to get in touch with me... and the fact that you started dating my sister. She knew where I was. All you had to do is ask her where I am. Things could've been so much different.''

Kurapika nods and looks away, ''I don't know. I was afraid, I guess. Something in that direction. I was scared... we were still young and my feelings were already so strong I didn't know what to do with them. When the letters stopped coming in, I thought you didn't want to keep in touch with me anymore. When Rin and I started dating she said such weird things about you, which are probably lies considering she lied about other stuff too apparently. It made me change the way I saw you that time, but even then I didn't lose feelings for you.''

You frown and narrow your eyes at him. You were confused and wanted to believe his story so bad, but it was difficult. You fight for people you love. You don't just let them go. But you could say that to yourself also. You should've fought for Kurapika the second you stopped receiving letters.

''I think it says a lot if we never tried to fight for each other.''

°•. ✿ .•°

Kurapika unlocked the door to his home. He took off his coat and jacket before walking into the living room as he saw Rin sitting at the dining table all alone. The food in front of her was still steaming and her head was resting on hand with a long face.

''Kurapika?'' she said and a smile appeared on her face. Kurapika looked at her and nodded before he gathered all of his courage together and spoke.

''I cheated.''


	8. You again

''I cheated,'' he calmly said and watched the smile of the woman in front of him drop. She stared at him and blinked slowly, taking his words in carefully. A single tear fell down her cheek as her mouth faintly opened as the words started to repeat in her head.

''Why?'' was all she managed to get out.

Kurapika gulped and shuffled with his feet. He didn't know what to say. He hadn't prepared for any questions and even though all he had to do was tell the truth, it was difficult. Guilt started to form in the pit of his stomach, making him feel nauseous.

''Who was it?'' she asked with a serious tone in her voice.

''Y/N,'' Kurapika breathed out and closed his eyes as he waited for Rin to explode. But it was quiet. Both of them kept their mouths shut and an awkward tension formed in the room. He opened his eyes slowly and saw Rin with her hands on her face, covering herself.

''I am sorry, I wasn't ready to say goodbye'' he whispered and wanted to walk away, but she stopped him.

''Wait''

He stopped in his tracks and turned around and met her gaze. The sparkles that were usually in her eyes when she looked at him were now gone. Kurapika pursed his lips together as he prepared himself to get dumped.

Even though he loved you immensely, he felt bad for cheating. He didn't blame you because in his eyes you didn't do anything wrong. It was him who was wrong and it was him who shouldn't have been honest about his feelings. He proposed to Rin for a reason, he thought. He must love her, he thought.

''I'll forgive you'' she said and stood up before walking towards Kurapika. She swung her arms around his neck and kissed his lips softly. He didn't feel anything. No spark. No butterflies. Nothing.

''I'll forgive you. On one condition.''

''And that is?''

''Never see her again. Erase her from your memories. Pretend she is dead. If you ever see her, just simply ignore her. Act like she doesn't exist, and never existed. If you can do that for me, I will stay with you.''

He bit his lips as he took in the words. It would be hell for him and he couldn't do it. Ever after that kiss, ever after seeing you again, he couldn't get enough. He didn't want to leave you again and certainly didn't want to forget about you, even if it was all an act. He couldn't do it. Not for her.

''I can't-''

''Shh,'' she shushed him as she put a single finger on his lips, making him frown at her in confusion ''Kurapika, I want to be with you. And I know you want to be with me, but if you're trying to be difficult and break up with me, I won't let it happen.'' She giggled maliciously as she let go of the man who had no clue what was happening.

She walked over to his desk and held up a small object. He narrowed his eyes, hoping it would help him see better what she was trying to show him.

''No'' he whispered as his mouth fell open and his eyes began to water, ''you're pregnant?''

°•. ✿ .•°

''Watcha playing?'' you huff as you let yourself fall on the couch next to Azami.

''Pockymon,'' he said and nodded, completely sure he pronounced the title right.

''Pockymon?'' you giggled and frowned as you never heard of that game before, ''Are you sure you're pronouncing it right?''

''Now, who's the expert here?''

''You're so weird''

''Yeah, thanks. Anyway, how was lunch with Kurta?''

You sighed and rubbed your eyes as you remembered the awkward lunch with your ex-boyfriend. You looked at Azami who had half of his hair up in a bun, like always. A few loose strands fell to the side of his face and his eyes were focused on the screen in front of him.

''Checking me out?''

''Stop! Gross!'' you frown and slap his arm as you scoff offended.

Azami chuckled and paused his game before facing you and meeting your gaze. He raised his brows as he waited for your answer. You sighed and stared into his dazzling eyes which narrowed after you stared into them for more than ten seconds.

''You're being weird'' he groaned and looked away as a soft rose colour was painted on his cheeks.

''I'm not!'' you defended yourself, ''eh, it was awkward, I guess. I just don't understand him. He says he has feelings for me and says all these things about regret. Yet he continues to date my sister. Not sure why he even did that in the first place, I mean, he has met my sister when we were dating. Nothing adds up and it's confusing me.''

''Communication is key''

''I know, but it doesn't feel like I should talk to him about it. There's no point, Azami. He is engaged to my sister and if he truly loved me and I truly loved him, we would have fought for each other.''

Azami frowned again and scratched the side of his head while clicking his tongue, ''what is that with you and fighting for each other? Maybe both of you weren't ready to be in a relationship with each other back then, but that doesn't mean you two don't belong together? You're not fighting for him now, are you? You keep coming up with excuses. Back then you said he forgot about you and now you're saying he's engaged to your shitty sister! I mean, he is, but he kissed you and I'm sure that means something.''

''Wow, this might be the first time you're giving me a proper lecture! You're not talking about games this time!''

You felt your face getting hit with a pillow and you glared at the grinning boy in front of you, ''you're being so annoying tonight, Y/N'' he whined and hit you again.


	9. Hand in hand

It had been exactly two weeks since you had last seen your sister and Kurapika. They both didn't show up uninvited at your apartment anymore and they didn't give you a call or sent you a text. A faint feeling of déjà vu washed over you.

You watched your best friend sitting at the dining table with half a croissant in his mouth and both hands holding his phone whilst he watched anime on his phone. You grew more anxious by the day. Did Kurapika tell Rin? Why didn't they contact you anymore?

''Something wrong?'' Azami mumbled as he looked up at you whilst still having his breakfast hanging in his mouth. You huffed and shook your head, letting him know you didn't want to talk about it. He nodded and averted his eyes back to his screen.

You heard three knocks on your door and you walked over to it and as you opened it you felt yourself get pushed to the side. You looked at your sister stare at you with an intense glare which made you feel a little uneasy. You looked at Azami who hasn't noticed your sister because he was too focused on the screen in his hands.

''Slut'' your sister spat out and you frowned at her, ''you know exactly what you did. Don't act stupid.''

''What are you talking about?''

''Kurapika told me everything.''

You kept quiet as you didn't know what to say. You were dumbfounded and looked away, too ashamed to look your sister in the eyes. Of course, he told her, you didn't blame him. She should know.

''I thought we were family'' she said and her voice trembled. You faced her and saw her eyes getting glossy, ''I knew I shouldn't have let you see him again. I should have known this was going to happen.''

''Can you blame me, though?''

''Excuse me?!'' she yelled, ''what the hell do you think you're saying? It's not my fault you weren't good enough for him and it certainly isn't my fault you can't keep your hands to yourself.''

Your heart ached hearing the words leave her lips, ''I'm sorry.''

''Yeah, whatever, Y/N. You're disgusting. Leave us alone. Stop trying to ruin everything!''

''Oi, oi'' Azami suddenly said with a deep voice and he stood up, walking towards you and stood still next to you. He held his arm out, signalling Rin to stop.

''Shut the hell up, Azami. Go back to playing your childish games or grow up and see your pathetic best friend is wrong here.''

He clicked his tongue in annoyance and clenched his jaw, ''the amount of bullshit that just came out of your mouth is ridiculous. It's almost funny.''

Rin's mouth fell open in the slightest and narrowed her eyes at the man next to you. She quickly closed her mouth and repositioned herself, trying to come off as more confident, ''well, isn't it true? She made my fiancé cheat on me because she can't get her stupid ass to move on from someone who does not love her anymore.''

''Wow, I truly hope that one day you choke on the shit you talk. Your claims are funny to me, because, don't they apply to you? Why else would Kurapika kiss her and say he regrets not fighting for her? Because he doesn't love her anymore? What a knee slapper!''

Rin bites her bottom lip as her eyes start to get glossy again.

''Yeah, huh? Are you going to cry now? Yaaah! I could've finished Hunting x Hunting if you didn't bore us with your presence today!'' he groans and let his head fall back.

''This is absurd,'' Rin said and held her head low as she pushed Azami away and walked through the door, closing it with a loud bang, causing you to jump up.

You looked at the ground and bit your bottom lip while trying not to cry. You never wanted this to happen. You loved your sister after all. If she never dated Kurapika, this would've never happened. You sniffled softly before you felt two strong arms wrap around your body. Your eyes widened as you realised Azami was hugging you.

He was never affectionate and never hugged you before, so this was a first.

''I don't like what's happening to you,'' he mumbled into the crook of your neck.

''Neither do I,'' you whispered and pat his head softly as you let a few tears fall down your cheek.

''Don't cry. I hate it when you cry,'' he said and let go of you and gently wiped away the tears that were under your eyes. You stared into his eyes and he tilted his head slightly to the side.

''Huh?''

''Just thinking about how grateful I am to have such a good best friend.''

''Weird!'' he whines and rolls his eyes but ruffles the top of your head, reassuring you that he actually liked it. He smiles and walks away. You walk over to the big window in your apartment. You peer outside and your eyes fall on someone familiar. Your heart skips a beat as you see your sister and Kurapika.

Hand in hand.


	10. Another time

You took your phone in your hand and stared at the time.

4:40 PM.

Which meant your sister was still at work. You had to go to Kurapika. One last time. You took in a deep breath and exhaled loudly as you trembled on your legs.

''Here I go,'' you muttered to yourself and knocked on the door that belonged to your sister and Kurapika. After a few seconds, it opened and you looked into his lovely eyes which softened when they saw you.

''Rin isn't here. I think it's okay for you to come in,'' he whispered and you nodded as you walked into the small house. You nibbled on the inside of your lip as you kept your head low, not wanting to face him.

''I'm sorry I haven't contacted you... Rin and I had some problems and-''

''I came to say goodbye.''

You said it. You clenched your jaw as you shook away the tears that were forming in your eyes. You looked up to face Kurapika who stared into your eyes. His lips were parted and he didn't know how to react.

''Rin is pregnant.'' He finishes his sentence and purses his lips together as he nods slowly.

''Good for her and for you, of course. Congratulations.''

''You know I have feelings for you,'' he said as he walked closer to you and he grabbed your shaking hands in his. The warmth of his hands comforted you a little, but as you realised what he was doing, you quickly freed yourself from his grip.

''It doesn't matter,'' you mutter as you looked away, breaking eye contact.

''Rin demanded I should stay away from you. Which is the only reason you haven't seen me. I was thinking of going to see you today as well.'' He said as he pointed at the jacket and scarf he was wearing.

You didn't say anything. You didn't react. There was no point anyway.

''There is no point.''

''Just talk to me, Y/N. Let me explain'' he tried and you brought your hand to your mouth as you nervously bit your nails.

''The only reason I'm staying with Rin, for now, is because she is pregnant. I'm going to be a dad. I don't want to leave my kid.''

''You know you don't have to get married to be able to stay in your kids' life, right?''

''I know,'' he huffed, ''and I can't marry someone I don't love.''

''Please just let me go.''

He kept quiet as he glared at you with sad eyes.

''I love you, Y/N,'' he whispered and leaned in but you quickly looked away, rejecting his kiss.

''I can't do this, Kurapika. I'm not going to let you keep me as a side chick.''

''You're not a side chick,'' he frowned ''I can't leave Rin right now, Y/N. You should understand. She is pregnant, I have to stay with her for now. You know how Rin and your father are, I don't know what they will do if I leave her now. But we'll get through this together.''

''Do you love her?''

Kurapika stayed silent again. You nodded, taking his silence as an answer.

''I don't,'' he finally said and looked away, ''not anymore.''

You scratched the back of your head. This drama was giving you a headache.

''True. Dad and Rin will never agree if you'll break up. God knows what they will use against you if you decide to leave her right now.''

Kurapika nods. You look him in the eyes and a small smile creeps upon you. You sighed loudly and wrapped your arms around him as you rested your head on his chest. You felt his arms wrap around you and you closed your eyes, letting yourself feel safe in his arms.

''Can't you fake date Azami so I don't feel bad having to fake being in love with your sister,'' Kurapika joked and you frowned at him as you looked up to meet his gaze.

''Gross!''

He chuckled as he gave a soft kiss on your forehead and let go of you.

''Pika?''

He hummed letting you know he heard you and you nervously shuffled on your feet.

''What did you say before you kissed me the other day? I couldn't understand what you said, but it's been on my mind for a while now.''

Kurapika looked away shyly as he let out a nervous chuckle and scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. You tilted your head as you watched him.

''I'll tell you one day''

You pouted but decided to let it slide since he looked so uncomfortable. You smiled at him and he returned one himself. You nodded to yourself and walked to his door.

''I'll go now,'' you say to him and he quickly walks towards you to give you a soft kiss on your lips. He rests one of his hands on your cheeks while the other is on your waist. The soft kiss quickly turns into a rough kiss and now you two are making out.

Making out with your sister's fiancé. Don't forget.

''Kurapika,'' you whisper as you stare into his eyes. His eyes show lust, making you gulp. He licks his lips before kissing you again and his hand moves from your waist to your ass. He squeezes it harshly, making you yelp.

You move your lips to his neck and start kissing and sucking softly on his delicate skin.

''Don't leave hickeys,'' he breathes out and you bite your bottom lip before continuing what you were doing. You gave him one last peck before opening the door.

''Huh?''

''Going home,'' you chuckle seeing him so confused.

''Alright, let's finish this another time.''


	11. For you

You walked into your apartment and shut the door behind you. You closed your eyes as you felt your back hit the door and your heart was pounding against your chest. What were you going to get yourself into?

You still had so many questions that were making you feel insecure about yourself and the situation you were in. Like; why did he date Rin in the first place? What the hell did Rin tell Kurapika about you? Why didn't he fight for you? Well- you weren't allowed to think that way anymore, since Azami said so.

You'll just ask two out of three questions. To get some reassurance and answers, which you desperately needed. You weren't sure if you even wanted this after all, but your feelings for Kurapika were too strong.

You wanted to believe and trust Kurapika and you did, but he was right. If he breaks up with Rin now, your father and Rin will probably try to ruin everything for him. And it will be even worse if they find out about you both. You began to ask yourself if it was even worth it. Was love worth the risk you were taking?

''God, don't be so dramatic'' you whispered to yourself as you rubbed your eyes with your hands, not caring about smudging your make up.

''Azami?'' you called out as you realised your apartment was dark and the tv wasn't on. It was odd that he wasn't there, I mean, he would tell you if he wouldn't be there. He always did. You narrowed your eyes and turned on the lights.

''Hey! You game addicted asshat! Where are you?'' you balled your fists as you anxiously paced around the small room, afraid of him scaring you out of nowhere. You walked up to the door to his room and rested your head on the cold wood, trying to find out if you could hear anything. You inhaled deeply and took the risk of getting yelled at, you opened the door to his room.

''Azami'' you sang and turned on the lights in his room. You couldn't see anyone. His room was messy since he was too lazy to clean it often. 'whatever' you muttered to yourself and just before you wanted to leave his room he jumped in front of you.

''WAH!'' he yelled in your face with a big smile before coughing.

''STOP! I hate you sometimes!'' you scream and push him away.

''Oi!'' he laughed as he coughed in between every laugh, ''shit,'' he whispered as he bent over and rested his palm on his chest.

''You okay?'' you asked and narrowed your eyes at your friend who seemed completely out of breath.

''Yup. All good,'' he said and gave you two thumb ups as he cheekily smiled at you. It was one of those moments where a sparkle would appear on his teeth. You narrowed your eyes as you smiled and nodded slowly, not completely buying his answer.

''That's what you get from being lazy!'' you flicked his forehead and he yelped in pain.

''That's not it'' he rolled his eyes.

''Then what is it?''

''Dunno,'' he shrugged, ''been getting out of breath very quickly lately. I also cough a lot. It's all good though, anyway, tell me about your day. You're more important.''

You felt him push you out of his room and followed you to the living room as both of you plopped down on the couch. You started to grow worried about your best friend, but you decided to let it slide, for now.

''Rin is pregnant''

''Congratu- I mean. Fuck! Shit!'' he said and shock crossed his face, his mouth dropping open slightly. You knew Azami wasn't too good with words, he has never been, so him messing up didn't surprise you nor offended you.

''Yep. Kurapika is going to be a dad''

''I mean who else would the father be,'' he genuinely asked you and you sighed loudly as you stared intensely at him, making him bite on his lip as he realised what he said. ''I'm sorry.''

You laughed and ruffled his hair, ''It's fine. I'm not sure how to tell you this, so, I'm just going to say it. Kurapika will stay with Rin until he finds a way to leave her. You know how dramatic they can get. I don't want them to manipulate him or even blackmail-''

You couldn't finish your sentence because Azami began to cough like crazy again. He covered his mouth with his elbow and you could see his eyes look away. You watched his hand go to his chest again as he clutches the fabric of his shirt tightly.

''Azami'' you said slowly, ''I'll get you some water.'' You jumped up and quickly walked to the sink, filling a glass with water and you handed it to Azami. He took the water and immediately started downing the entire glass.

''Don't lie to me. Are you okay?''

He hummed and you bit the inside of your mouth. You desperately wanted to believe him, but coughing that much and extreme probably isn't okay. You sighed and shook the anxious feeling away before taking your phone out of your pocket. Your phone lit up and you saw a number has texted you a few times.

I love you

Come see me.

I'm outside your apartment.

You squinted your eyes and walked over to the window, peering outside. Your heart skipped a beat and you smiled to yourself as you saw the person you loved outside. He smiled at you with closed eyes as he waved at you.

He was waiting for you.


	12. Everything will be okay

''Hi,'' you quietly say as you blush softly while looking up, facing Kurapika. Kurapika smiled at you and gave you a hug and a quick peck on your cheeks, making sure nobody saw what he just did. Imagine what would happen if Rin was suddenly behind us.

''Why are you here?'' you asked him.

''Rin went to your father for the night''

You hum and nod as you listened to his answer. You felt a little awkward being like this with him now, after all the drama you had been through. You still felt icky after the whole situation and you were afraid of Rin and your father finding out.

Your father would probably disown you if he finds out you stole his precious little daughter's fiancé. I mean, it does sound bad if you think about it. Were you wrong then?

Your thoughts were only making you feel worse so you decided to worry about all that later.

Both of you walked through the city before reaching the little park that was surrounded by tall pine trees. You sat down next to Kurapika and faced him. Why did you have to feel so awkward?

''What's wrong?'' he asked you, sensing your awkwardness.

''I don't know. This just happened so fast and I'm starting to feel guilty again...'' you confessed.

Kurapika didn't reply. He looked up to the night sky and kept quiet until he cleared his throat, ''so... you don't want this?''

''Want what?''

''This. Us.''

You squinted your eyes and frowned at him. It is not that you didn't want it. It all happened so quick, too quick for you to feel okay with it. You hadn't seen him in two weeks and now both of you agreed to 'date' in private. Or whatever you want to call it.

''I do''

''Then what's wrong, Y/N? ... you seem so awkward''

''Pika, Rin came to my apartment the other day and we argued. We haven't seen each other for two weeks, I came to you to end this once and for all and look at us now. I can't pretend nothing happened.''

''I'm not asking you to act as if nothing happened.''

''Yeah''

''I love you''

''....''

He frowned at you, confused. He parted his lips slightly, wanting to say something again, but changed his mind and sighed. He played with his scarf as he slowly buried his face into the fabric. You could only see his eyes now.

''I love you, but I can't act like this, yet. It's going too fast. I'm sorry.'' You said and you stood up, but Kurapika grabbed your hand.

''Don't go...'' he begged and your eyes soften as you look into his. They didn't sparkle in the moonlight, they looked unhappy, so unhappy. ''I don't know. I'm just trying to do what's best.''

''I know, but can we slow down? Please?''

''Of course.''

You smiled at him and sat down. You took your phone out of your pocket to check the time and saw around ten missed calls from Azami. You frowned and looked at Kurapika, who sneakily looked at your phone as well.

He blushed, ''call him back''

You giggled and nodded. You dialled his number and Azami picked up immediately.

''Hey,'' he coughed.

''Hi, what's wrong?''

''I'm going to a friend right now-'' he started to cough again and you bit your bottom lip, ''I will be there for a while.''

''Why?'' you asked, ''did I do something wrong?''

''No, no, no. Don't worry. He... He has a new game. Yes, a new game. He asked me to play it with him.''

''A new game? Why would you stay away for a while for a game?''

''I- A-Anyway,'' he stuttered and cleared his throat, ''I'll see you soon''

Before you could say anything you heard beeping, meaning he hung up. You stared at your phone and frowned. You asked yourself a hundred questions. You were worried about your best friend and he wasn't going to tell you a thing.

''Something wrong with him?'' Kurapika asked and he placed his hand on your arm.

''I don't know. I'm worried.'' You whisper.

''Hey, it's okay,'' Kurapika reassured and swung his arm around you, holding you close to him. His warmth comforted you and you let your head fall onto his shoulder. You didn't care about anyone seeing you at this time. There weren't many people around since it was late in the evening.

''He keeps coughing plus he's so out of breath whenever he does something. He says it's all good but I doubt it. He says he's going to a friend for a while to play a game.''

''Did he tell you which friend?''

''Nope,'' you sighed and snuggled your face more into Kurapika's neck. You had forgotten how safe he always made you feel.

''Don't worry too much about it for now. I'm sure if it's something bad, he would tell you, right?''

''I hope so. We always tell each other everything.''

''See? He'd tell you'' Kurapika said, trying to convince you and even himself that nothing is wrong with him. Since Azami and you had been friends for the longest time Kurapika has known him for a long time as well. He knew Azami used to get sick very often, but only a cold, nothing serious.

''Wanna come to my place?'' he asked and you looked up to meet his gaze, ''Rin won't be home until tomorrow evening. So, don't worry. It's safe.'' He joked.

You chuckled to yourself, ''sure. Why not.''

°•. ✿ .•°

You got into the bed that Kurapika and Rin share. It made you feel incredibly weird, but you were too tired to think too much about it. You snuggled into the blankets and saw Kurapika walk into the bedroom.

''Wish we could do this every night,'' he breathed out and scratched the back of his head. It gave you mixed emotions. You had him back, which is something you've wanted for literal years. But he was still engaged to your sister. You laid in a bed which they shared. Nevermind, you weren't too tired to think about it.

You hummed and closed your eyes. You felt his warm body hit your back and he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck. You giggled softly and slowly started to drift away into a deep sleep.

Hoping everything will be okay.


	13. Of course

Your eyes shot open because of the sound of people talking. You looked around you and realised where you were. You got out of bed and walked around the little bedroom. There was a low closet at the side of the room with candles and pictures on it. You carefully picked up the little picture frame. It was a photo of Kurapika and Rin together. They were smiling brightly and full of happiness. You couldn't help but smile weakly seeing your sister so happy. You sighed deeply and put the photo back down.

You didn't pay any attention to the people talking outside so you just made your way out of the bedroom. You closed the door behind you and looked up at Kurapika. Who looked at you with widened eyes. You frowned before realising who he was talking to. You met her angry blue eyes and your heart sunk to your stomach.

Rin. She came home earlier.

''Honey?'' she asked and smiled at Kurapika, ''what was she doing in our bedroom?''

Luckily you were wearing the clothes from the night before. Sweatpants and a sweater, because imagine if you only wore a shirt or pyjamas. You coughed and nibbled on your bottom lip. Rin glared at you and Kurapika, waiting for an answer.

''Well?''

''I was looking for a shirt to borrow,'' I made up an excuse, a bad one at that. 'Why would I borrow a shirt from her?' you thought.

Rin snorted and kissed Kurapika's cheek, ''you're very good at stealing other people's belongings. Aren't you, little sis?''

You looked up to face your sister who held Kurapika close to her. Your eyes drifted off to Kurapika, who was looking to the side. Rin grinned at you and kept quiet. You nodded slowly and took in a deep breath.

''Anyway... I should go,'' you said and flashed your sister a quick smile before walking over to the door.

''Wait.''

You turned around and saw her coming up to you. She took your hands in hers and smiled at you, ''why don't you come dress shopping with me today? Mom's coming as well. I want my sisters opinion on my wedding dress.''

You managed to give her a small smile. You gulped and nodded slowly, letting her know you agreed to come along. Of course, she wanted you to come with her. Even though Kurapika and you had an agreement, it still didn't feel safe. Rin was going to continue trying to hurt your feelings and upset you. You couldn't enjoy the time you had with Kurapika, because of her. Well, that was going to be a thing you had to deal with.

''Let's go!'' she said happily and her eyes sparkled.

°•. ✿ .•°

Your sister had tried on what felt like a million dresses already. You let yourself sink into the comfortable sofa as time went by. You had been there for at least two hours by now. She didn't like any dress she tried on. You sat next to your mom and Rin's best friend, Hayami. She was a beautiful girl with gorgeous brown hair that was braided into one thick braid that hung down her shoulder.

Hayami was surprisingly nice to you, which probably meant Rin didn't tell anything about you and Kurapika. She mentioned how much you and Rin looked ta like and how happy she was that her best friend finally found someone who loved her.

Rin's ex-boyfriend, Haru, was a very bad person. He had really messed her up. They met when they were still very young, around 14. They dated for a while and Rin thought she had met the one, but Haru started to act weird around her. He would call her names and manipulate her. He completely ruined her confidence and mental health. She does deserve someone who loves her.

But why did it have to be your ex-boyfriend?

You waited for your sister to show you another dress. Your eyes widened when you saw her walk out of the changing room. She looked gorgeous. Like a princess. The beautiful white wedding dress fit her so well. It was almost shining because of all the glitters and such and so were her eyes. She looked so happy, genuine happiness was so obvious.

She looked at you and her eyes softened seeing you look at her. In a way, you were so happy for her. She was happy. She found someone who well, made her feel so loved. You felt tears fall onto your cheeks and as you realised you were crying you quickly wiped your tears away.

''Are you crying?'' Rin asked and you met her gaze. She looked confused.

''N-No'' your voice cracked and you inhaled deeply, ''you just look very beautiful, Rin.''

She kept quiet and shook her head slowly before repositioning herself and she smiled at you. You sighed quietly and bit your lip as you tried to hold back your tears. You started to feel like you were taking away your sister's happiness. If you had just been happy for her, she was going to get married, looking this stunning.

''I'm taking this dress,'' she smiled as she looked at us and my mom and Hayami started to clap. You smiled at the ground as you let out a shaky breath, not sure what to do with what you were feeling at the moment.

°•. ✿ .•°

''She looked perfect, Pika'' you whined as you walked next to the blonde-haired man.

''Imagine what you'd look like in a wedding dress''

''Come on!''

''Sorry!'' he chuckled, ''just saying, you'd look ten times more perfect.''

''Sure, whatever'' you chuckled and rolled your eyes at him.

''Hey,'' he said and stopped you by standing still and taking your hands in his, intertwining your cold fingers, ''one day you will be the one wearing a wedding dress. To marry me, of course''.


	14. Hospital

It had been around one week since Rin had bought the wedding dress. Their wedding was only a few months away and It made you feel uneasy. Kurapika had to do something about the situation before the wedding.

Kurapika was at home with Rin who was in the kitchen cooking. He walked up to her and stood against the wall, arms crossed in front of his chest. He watched the girl he's supposed to love making food for him like everything was normal. To her it was.

He felt weird because Rin hadn't mentioned the bedroom thing that happened a week ago. And he liked it that way, he didn't want to have any more drama.

''Rin?''

''Yes, babe?''

''Strange question, but how long have you been pregnant?''

She put down the spoon she was holding and squinted her eyes as she met Kurapika's. She kept quiet and took in a deep breath, ''Not sure, a few months, I guess?''

''Aren't you supposed to know exactly how long you're pregnant?'' he frowned his eyes and tilted his head slightly as he started to doubt her.

''Gosh, honey, I'm a bit tired. I can't think straight right now,'' she tried to brush it off and waved her hand at him as she continued cooking the meal she was preparing for Kurapika and herself.

He parted his lips slightly and inhaled, ready to say something back, ''your tummy isn't growing and you're not showing any side effects either''

''Are you saying you think I'm faking my pregnancy?'' she spoke and raised her voice slightly as she stared into Kurapika's eyes. She scoffed and shook her head as she found him ridiculous. Who would fake their pregnancy, huh?

''I didn't say that''

''You suggested it. You didn't exactly say those words, but you're making it obvious.''

''Then explain to me why you decided to tell me months later you are pregnant?''

Rin kept quiet for a moment, ''I don't know. I was scared. I'm going to be a mom.''

''Are you, though?''

Rin widened her eyes as she looked at Kurapika who shook his head in disgust. Her cheeks started to get warm and tears started to burn into her eyes. ''Why don't you believe me?''

''Because it doesn't make any sense, Rin. I need to go.''

''Where are you going?''

''Should I tell you the truth or should I lie? Something you've gotten very good at,''

''What do you mean?'' Rin said and put her hands on her hips after she turned off the stove, not wanting to burn the food and start a fire. The tension in the room was awkward. Kurapika chuckled and rubbed his eyes.

''Why did you tell me Y/N works at a café?''

''I- because she does?''

''Rin, quit it. Quit lying to me. Why do you never have any exams you need to revise for and why do you never have any homework? Which major do you study again?''

Rin flipped her hair behind her shoulder and cleared her throat, ''scriptwriting''

Kurapika raised his brows and a small smile formed on his lips. He was surprised. She couldn't even remember her own lies. He exhaled loudly and broke eye contact with the girl in front of him.

''Oh, why am I never allowed to read the stories you write?''

''Because I'm insecure.''

''Fair enough. Name one title of one of your stories''

''Kurapika, this is so childish.''

''Yes, it is,'' he stated and walked over to the coat rack next to the door that lead to outside. He took his coat and put it on, along with his scarf, ''I can't look at you right now.''

''W-Where are you going?'' she stuttered and quickly walked over to him as she began to feel anxious.

''Y/N'' he said and saw Rin's eyes started to get glossy, ''Yes, what? Did you want me to lie about it? I'm sorry, I'm going to Azami.''

°•. ✿ .•°

You sat on your couch as you flip through the manga you're currently reading. You jump up slightly as you hear someone loudly knocking on your door. Your frown your brows. Could it be Azami?

You stood up and opened the door. You looked at Kurapika who obviously looked very frustrated. He frowned his brows and the corners of his lips were down. You started to get curious and took a step aside, signalling he could enter your apartment.

''Sorry, I'm getting curious. What happened?''

''I don't think she's pregnant'' he quickly dropped the bomb and sat down on the couch.

''Huh,'' you sat down next to him and narrowed your eyes as you met his gaze. You weren't quite sure what he meant, I mean, Rin must have shown him proof, you thought.

''She has lied about her career, her hobby and about you-''

''I still wanna know what she said about me''

''I will tell you one day. Anyway, it wouldn't surprise me if she lied about her pregnancy too. She told me after I said I cheated on her. Doesn't that smell fishy to you?''

You inhale deeply and break eye contact with the angry man next to you, ''I don't think it's right for you to assume something. If she isn't lying and you keep telling her she is, it might hurt her feelings. But on the other side, if she is lying, then that's messed up.''

Kurapika sighs and lets himself sink more into the couch, ''maybe I just want her to lie. It would be a good reason to leave her.''

''I guess,'' you sigh and flick your hair out of your sight. Suddenly your phone starts to ring and you walk over to the table which has your phone on it.

Azami. It said.

You narrowed your eyes and decide to pick up the call.

''Hello?''

''Hey. Is this Y/N?''

''Yeah... who are you?''

''Yuki, Azami's friend. You need to come to the hospital.''


	15. He's okay

You and Kurapika ran through the white hospital halls which felt like an hour. Tears were streaming down your face as you prepared yourself for the worst possible thing ever. Once you reached the hospital room which belonged to Azami, both of you burst inside. You stared at your best friend who was laying in the white bed with weird stuff attached to him. He had blankets covering his body and he snuggled his face into the thick fabric so you were only able to see his eyes, which were focused on the game console in his hand.

Of course, he was gaming, even now.

''Azami...'' you whispered and stumbled into the room. Azami looked at you and his eyes widened as he took the blanket away from his mouth.

''Y/N? what are you doing here?''

''I called her.'' A guy with short brown hair said as he leaned against the wall, ''you're not doing okay. I think they deserve to know what's going on with you.''

''it's not a big deal!'' he whined and closed his eyes as he bit on his bottom lip.

''Actually, it is,'' a man with a white coat stepped into the room. He was holding some kind of notebook in his hand. He adjusted his glasses and held out his hand and you shook it while he introduced himself. The man started to explain what was wrong with Azami and it felt like you couldn't breathe and understand what he was saying.

Basically, Azami has incredibly bad and weak lungs. Which makes him get out of breath very fast and makes him cough a lot. If he doesn't take medicine, it could actually be life-threatening. They didn't run all the tests yet, so they weren't 100% sure that was what was making him so ill. But they were sure that his life will be in danger if he doesn't take certain medications. The doctor acted a bit weird, causing you to feel like he is hiding something.

You glared at Azami who hid himself behind his blankets again as he stared into your eyes. You started to grow frustrated because he kept this a secret from you.

''Why didn't you tell me?'' you asked him.

''Because,'' he sighed, ''you already have so much going on. I didn't want to add more fuel to your fire.''

''But this is really fucking serious!''

''Is he okay?'' you hear a familiar voice behind you say. It was Rin.

''Why are you here?'' you spat out.

''Because Yuki called me?'' she said and you looked at the guy named Yuki, who simply shrugged his shoulders.

°•. ✿ .•°

After a while, everyone had left the hospital. Kurapika surprisingly left with Rin and Yuki left on his own. You stayed with Azami who was still playing games in the hospital bed. The rain softly hit the window, causing you to feel comfortable. You slightly closed your eyes as you listened to the sound of the raindrops.

''What will you do when I pass away?'' Azami asks and your eyes shoot open.

''What do you mean? You're not going to die, Azami. I will personally shove your medicine down your throat if I have to.''

Azami chuckles softly as he stared outside, ''It feels like I'm going to die. It's like a gut feeling.''

Your mouth drops slightly, but you decide to ignore him. You didn't want to think about losing your best friend. You didn't know what to do without him.

''Y/N?'' Azami suddenly said, his eyes not leaving his game. You hummed and waited for him to ask the question, ''what would you say if I told you I used to have feelings for you?''

''I'd say you're high on meds'' you joked.

''Oi!'' he said with a deep voice and he frowned his brows, ''high on meds? That's sick, but I'm serious!''

You kept quiet and avoided eye contact. You didn't know what to reply to that, you had never looked at Azami like that. You two had been best friends for the longest time. You always relied on him and talked to him about your love life. He had never even tried to make a move on you, so there was no way you could've known.

''I used to have feelings for you,'' he said and stared at his game which he had paused by now, ''but I've always known how much you love Kurapika, I know I would never have a chance. And even then, if we started dating I know you'll never love me as much as you love him. It would shatter my heart.''

You played with your fingers as you looked at the ground. He was right, you had never loved anyone as much as you loved Kurapika and would probably never be able to love anyone as much as him. In all those years apart, you didn't lose feelings nor did you think about dating anyone else. But you did feel bad because of Azami.

''Well'' he sighed and he put the gaming console on the table next to him, ''your loss'' he joked and winked at you. He laid down on his side and a few of his locks fell into his face as he stared at you with his pretty eyes. He smirked at you, ''caught you off guard, huh?''

''A little,'' you giggle and you flicked your hair behind your shoulder, ''it's kind of cute, though.''

You could see he cringed because of the way he looked at you. He frowned his brows and went through his hair with his fingers.

''Hey!'' you say and point at him, ''no ponytail this time!'' you looked at his soft hair which almost fell to his shoulders. You had never seen him without having half of his hair up, so this was a first.

''Yeah, do you not know how uncomfortable it is to have a ponytail in your hair while you're laying in bed?'' he groaned and moved to lay on his back. He quickly covered his mouth because he started to cough again. A machine next to him started to beep loudly and you jumped up from the chair. Azami didn't stop coughing and you saw him pressing rapidly on a red button next to his bed.

After a few seconds, several people quickly walked into the room. One man looked at you and told you you had to leave the room immediately. Anxiety started to build up in your body and you took one last glance at Azami, who was hidden behind people who stood next to the bed. You could only see his hand, he gave you a thumbs up.

You giggled, but couldn't help but feel anxious. You inhaled deeply and walked through the white halls again.

''Y/N,'' you heard a man say and you looked at the ground as you saw Kurapika sitting on the ground, ''I wanted to let you have some alone time with him, so I waited here for you.'' He said.

You let yourself fall onto your knees as you hugged Kurapika tightly. He wrapped his arms around you and you sobbed into his chest.

''I don't think he's okay.''


	16. Still single?

It had been a few days by now. You were right Azami wasn't okay. You hadn't heard from him since the day you were told to leave the hospital. You were anxious and didn't know what to do about it, you weren't able to do much about it. whenever you called the hospital they said they couldn't tell you due to privacy reason and no matter how many times you told them he's your best friend they wouldn't spill a thing.

''He'll be okay. He's a strong guy'' Kurapika said as he stood behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You took in a deep breath and places both your hands on his shoulders.

''In games maybe''

''Come on,'' Kurapika chuckled and kissed the tip of your nose, ''he's not a flimsy little boy. We're talking about Azami here.''

''You heard what the doctors said. If he doesn't take the medicine, his health could be in danger. What he accidentally forgets to take it one day!''

Kurapika snorted and frowned his brows playfully, ''you're acting as if he'll die immediately. Stop worrying so much. He will be okay. I'm sure.''

''I hope you're right''

You still thought about what your best friend told you. He basically confessed his feelings to you and his words wouldn't stop playing in your head like a broken record.

''Your weddings only a few months away'' you whisper as you rest your head on his shoulder. You feel his fingers go through your hair gently as he softly rests his head on yours.

''I'm scared'' you whisper and he lightly pushes you away as he holds onto your shoulders. He stares into your eyes and you stare into his. You were scared of what was going to happen. You were afraid of what he was going to do. 'He had to break up with her before the wedding, right? Or else they'll get married and then things will get incredibly difficult and messy' you thought to yourself.

''So am I,'' he finally breathed out, ''I'm not quite sure what to do.''

''I understand,'' you nod and look at the ground, ''but you can't get married to her, Pika. Things will get so difficult. Divorce and stuff, I don't feel like going through all that.''

''Neither do I, but I don't know what else to do.''

''Are you actually so afraid of what my father and Rin might do?''

''Yes''

''What do they have on you?''

''I can't tell you that. I'm sorry,'' he said and gave you a quick peck on your forehead before letting go of you and walking to the door. He put his coat on and wrapped his scarf around his neck as he held onto the door handle and glared at you.

''I have to go home now. I told Rin I was at a friend.''

''Wow, which friend?''

''Leorio''

You raised your brows. You never heard of someone named Leorio before, but apparently, he was a friend of Kurapika.

''I'll let you meet him one day and two other friends as well''

''Alright,'' you smiled, ''I'd love to meet them.''

''A-Are you sure you can't stay a little longer?'' you changed your mind. You would be all alone with your thoughts, which made you feel anxious.

Kurapika contemplated for a second and inhaled deeply, ''I can't, Y'N. Rin might get worried and she was upset at the hospital too, I think she needs some comfort as well.''

You pursed your lips together as you started to grow a little annoyed, but decided to ignore him. You didn't want to argue with him. You just needed his comfort, that was all. But if he rather wanted to give it to someone he didn't love, then whatever, right?

Kurapika took a step forward to you, wanting to kiss you, but you quickly looked away causing him to kiss you on your cheek. You tried your best to give him a believable smile, but obviously he didn't buy it. He caresses your cheek and smiles softly before leaving you alone in your apartment.

You instantly felt lonely and not having Azami around made you feel worse. He was there most of the time, even if he didn't always pay attention to you. You loved hearing him get excited when he was playing games. You just loved having him around. So him not being there made you feel sad.

You inhaled deeply and looked at the time. It was late in the evening already. You walked to your window and stared outside, the world looked dark, but the little Christmas lights were lighting up the world. It was around Christmas time, your favourite holiday. You thought for a second and decided to take a stroll around the city, to take your mind off things. You put on your jacket and scarf and left your apartment.

You were kicking away some snow with your shoe as you hid half of your face in your scarf. Worries of Azami and thoughts of Kurapika were flooding your mind as you were lost in thoughts. You looked at the ground, not paying much attention to your surroundings until you heard someone call your name.

''Mai?'' you mumbled into your scarf.

''Y/N?'' she said as he eyes widened behind her glasses. Her thick black hair was pulled up into a high ponytail. Mai and you had been friends for what felt like forever, but you hadn't seen each other for a very long time. A few seconds passed until she took you into a warm hug. You let go of each other, but she still held onto your arms. She stared into your eyes as her lips curled up into a big smile.

''Damn, it's been so fucking long!'' she cursed happily, causing you to giggle.

''It really has been'' you sighed in relief, glad to finally see her again after all those years. She let go of you and tilted her head slightly.

''You and Kurapika married yet? And Azami still single?''


	17. Small café

''You're joking!'' Mai said as she pointed at you with her spoon after she started eating the whipped cream off her hot chocolate. You and her decided to catch up in a café nearby.

''Yeah, she told me and wanted me to be happy for her!'' you glared at Mai who laughed.

''How are you supposed to be happy? She's going to marry the love of your life!''

''Yeah,'' you sighed and stared down at your hot drink, thinking whether you should tell her about you and Kurapika or not. You took a deep breath and told her everything. From the start to where you are now.

''Wow, that's a lot'' she whispered and bit her bottom lip as she stared down at the table, ''I know you love him, but I think you and Kurapika have to be honest to Rin. Or don't date''

You sighed. You knew she was right and this was unfair to Rin, but you weren't even sure what to do. Rin definitely had something on him otherwise he would've left her. But then again, he went to comfort Rin tonight, not you. It was like one day he loved her and the other day he loves you.

''And Azami?'' she asked, ''still single?''

You knew Mai has had a crush on Azami since forever, but he never seemed interested. Maybe it was his crush on you that made him uninterested in her. You laughed it off, feeling a bit uncomfortable to talk about your best friend like that.

''So, Rin's preggo'' Mai suddenly said as she nodded to herself as if she wanted to make herself believe her own words. I mean, it was hard to believe sometimes. Especially in your situation. It was messed up for you.

You hummed and she took a sip of her hot drink, hissing because of the warmth. She looked up at you and noticed the sad atmosphere lingering in the room, ''it must be hard for you''

''It is, especially if he suddenly decides to comfort her instead of me. I don't want to talk bad about her, but she never liked Azami. Why would she care about him being in the hospital? Why would she need his comfort more than me?''

''Wait, he's in the hospital?''

''Yeah, I thought I told-''

''You didn't. What's up with him? Is he okay?''

You pursed your lips together, realising you couldn't rely on her giving you comfort. She only cared about Azami's well-being, and of course, you did too. You cared about it more than anyone, but every now and then it's nice to spill all of the burdens in your heart.

''I'm sorry'' she apologises and you nod your head, avoiding eye contact with the girl in front of you, ''I see Azami from time to time in stores, but get too shy to talk to him''

''Why? He's your friend''

''Mhm, but I like him more than a friend''

''I see. I'm not sure if he's interested in anyone other than the girls in his games, though'' you laughed, knowing it's probably even true. He used to be interested in you though. Mai gave you a soft chuckle, knowing you were right most likely.

''I just don't know what to think of you and Kurapika now'' she admitted. You instantly felt iffy and regretted telling her a thing. It's not like you couldn't handle any criticism, you knew that if everything goes to plan, you'll receive a shit ton of criticism. But you already felt bad enough and wanted some positive aura, you needed it at this point. The drama was making you feel sick to your stomach, you wanted a normal end of your day.

''I get that it's hard to understand. But I've always loved him, Mai, you know that. There hasn't been a day of me not missing him and thinking of him. When Rin told me she's going to marry him, I didn't know what to feel, think or do.''

''But why would you create so much drama for yourself? How many years has it been Y/N?''

''Nine''

''Have you even given yourself a chance to move on from him? You're telling me you wouldn't even allow yourself to move on. You let yourself think of him''

''It's not like I could just forget him. It's not that easy and you know that. Look at you, still crushing on a boy who's only interested in pixel girls'' you started to grow annoyed at Mai. You know what she was trying to tell you. 'Break up with him it's not worth it'. She didn't even try to understand.

''I'm not trying to argue with you, Y/N!'' Mai snickered, ''I'm just telling you my opinion. You're creating drama that probably gives yourself a headache. You're creating drama for Rin and you're ruining a relationship.''

You kept quiet, thinking about her words deeply. You bit your bottom lip as you started to realise she was right. It had been nine years already and all of this could've been avoided. You wish things went differently. 

''You can't expect me to agree with your actions all the time.''

''Of course not. I'm at my wits end, Mai. My best friend is almost dying. My sister hates my guts. My parents probably want to disown me at this point. The love of my life is marrying someone else and probably can't make his damn mind up again. My life's going to shits. All I wanted is to cry my heart out to someone without getting fucking judged by everything I do. It's tiring. I can take criticism. I understand you want to speak your mind, but sometimes I don't want to hear someone talk to me. Or whatever. Whatever! Fuck!''

You throw your hands up in the air, admitting defeat. You were tired of your own problems because you didn't know how to make them go away or how to solve them. It was tiring and you've had enough. Of absolutely everything.

''I— I'm sorry ... I'm sorry,'' you breathe out, hiding your face in your hands as you shake your head slowly, ''I know what I'm doing is wrong, but I just don't know what to do anymore. I love him, Mai, so much. There's just something about him and I can't let him go. I know it's been nine years and I know I should have moved on, I tried. But when I saw him again after all those years all of my feelings just came back and it is too much.''

Mai's eyes soften and you felt her take your hand in hers, her thumb brushing gently over your skin. You moved your hands away from your face and met her eyes. She smiled at you and pouted as she looked at your sad face. ''It's okay, Y/N. You have to talk to Rin when you're ready. Both of you are making mistakes that need to be talked about. Do you promise me you'll talk to her soon? I know you love Kurapika, but make sure you're doing things the right way.''

''Thank you Mai ... I promise I will talk to Rin. I'm sorry for bothering you and being dramatic tonight, I'll take my leave now,'' you sighed and smiled weakly at Mai, who was still smiling at you. You nodded once and stood up, leaving Mai and the small café.


	18. Science experiment

''Mai is right. I need to talk to Rin soon. I need to get my shit together,'' you said to yourself, kicking away a pebble that wasn't covered in the thick, white snow. You took your shaking phone out of your pocket, messages flooding in from the one person you weren't excited to see. For the first time in years. It was Kurapika.

It's not like you didn't want to talk to him, but you were upset at him and yourself. You read the messages as your eyes flickered over the screen. They were sweet. He was saying things like

'I'll be here for you' what a joke.

'I love you' are you sure?

'You're not alone' yep. I am.

You shook your head as you covered your eyes with your cold hands. You didn't want to get annoyed at him, but he was once again confusing you. It felt like he was playing with your feelings. You decided to ignore him because if you'd text him right now it would probably come off as rude. You were a horrible texter when you were angry, you'd say things you didn't mean in the heat of the fight.

You inhaled deeply as you looked up at the sky, not sure where to go from here. You couldn't visit your parents or Rin for comfort, since they're one of the reasons for your sadness. You couldn't go to Kurapika, since he was busy comforting someone else. Mai wasn't an option anymore and Azami was in the hospital.

''Can't I just visit him? If I tell them it's important, they must let me in, right?'' you said to yourself out loud. You decided to let your overthinking go for a moment and stuck out your hand, waiting for a taxi.

°•. ✿ .•°

''What's his name?'' the girl behind the desk asked you.

''Azami''

''Azami who?''

''Azami Izanagi'' you answered.

She frowned as she looked at her screen and typed a few things. She took a deep breath and looked at me with a disappointing look, ''he's on intensive care, strangers aren't allowed there''

''I'm not a stranger. My name is Y/N L/N, I'm his best friend. I haven't heard from him in days, please let me see him. I'm not leaving until you'll let me see him.'' you desperately said. You didn't care about what she would think of you. You needed to see him, end of discussion.

''I could ask the doctor, but I can't promise you anything, sweetheart'' she warmheartedly smiled at you and her eyes softened when she saw you so desperate. She took the phone on the desk and put it against her ear after dialling the doctor's office, probably.

''There's a girl here who desperately needs to see Azami Izanagi. She says she's his best friend and needs to see him'' she looked at you and covered her mouth, ''she says she won't leave until she's allowed, so this could cause some trouble'' she whispered into the phone, hoping you couldn't hear her.

She talked a bit more, but you didn't pay too much attention to what she was saying, you just wanted to know if you were allowed to see your friend or not. She nodded at you and told you on which floor he was and his room number.

''Don't let his state fright you too much, dear. They're trying their best to help him, okay?'' she said and you nodded, feeling a bit taken aback by her words. You hurriedly walked to the elevator, pressing the number '5' about a thousand times. Once you got to the designated floor, you almost ran to his room. You knocked on the door, but couldn't hear a thing, so you decided to just open it.

In bed laid Azami, who looked rough. He looked skinnier than before and had black circles under his eyes. He had weird strings attached everywhere and it seemed like he was on life support. Fuck. Your legs trembled as you walked up to him and fell on your knees next to his bed. His eyes were closed, so he was probably asleep.

''What the hell is going on?'' you cried to yourself. You cried, finally. Letting all of your sadness wash over you. You were carrying so much weight on your shoulders from the shit going on in your life, and it was too much for you. You just wanted to be happy. You wanted to be with Kurapika, have a stable relationship with your family and feel okay. You loved Kurapika so much, but you kept wondering if all of this was even worth it anymore.

You sobbed into the sheets of Azami's bed until you felt a hand on your head. You looked up and felt a tear run down your cheek. Azami had woken up, probably because of your loud sobs. He stared down at you with a weak smile on his face.

''Why are you crying?'' he breathed out, ''you know I hate it when you cry''

''Azami'' you cried out and wrapped your arms around him, ''I'm going through it. I'm losing my mind''

''Oi, oi'' he chuckled softly, ''how do you think I feel? I'm not allowed to game all day anymore. This feels like rehab. They're only making me feel worse!''

You giggled in between your sobs and rested your head on his stomach as you looked up at him, ''Azami?''

''Hmm?''

''Is going after Kurapika worth it?''

Azami kept quiet for a second and closed his eyes, ''don't ask me if it's worth it. Loving someone is always worth it, but if you only get hurt in the end or if you don't receive any satisfaction from it, it isn't. I know you love him. But you need to ask yourself if all the pain you're going through is worth it. if everything turns out well, will you be happy with yourself?''

You thought for a second. Would you be happy with yourself? If you do end up marrying Kurapika, will you live a happy life? Would everything be easier if you didn't love him?

''Talk to him if you get the chance,'' Azami breathed out and opened his eyes again, ''don't let him go if you love him. You can see how fast a human can pass away''

''You're not dead''

''I know'' was all he said. You sniffled and pouted when you saw Azami try his best to keep his eyes open. He looked horrible and it was breaking your heart. You took in a deep breath and looked at the weird things attached to him and the strange machines next to his bed.

He groaned, ''I feel like a fucking science experiment,''


	19. Passed away

''I feel like a fucking science experiment,'' he groaned and sent you a small smile. You giggled and sat up as he moved himself to give you more space to sit. You could understand where he was coming from, he had so much stuff attached to him. Only to keep him alive.

You bit your bottom lip, ''Azami?''

He hummed in response. You cleared your throat, scared to find out his answer to the question you're about to ask.

''You know you can ask me anything'' he whispers as he stares into your eyes. you stared back at him, taking in his features. His skin looked paler than usual, his dark blue eyes had a wash of haziness on them. His hair was pushed out of his face, showing his forehead. His thick hair had already grown a little longer and fell softly onto his shoulders.

''Do you want to die?''

He kept silent. Thinking deeply about the question. He didn't necessarily want to die, but knowing he had a whole life full of medication and hospital visits ahead of him, made him feel tired. The thought alone exhausted him already. He coughed once as he looked away, embarrassed.

''I don't know'' he breathed out. You took in a sharp breath, not loving his answer. But you could understand him. Knowing you won't feel the same as you used to and having to take medicine just to keep you alive, having to go to the hospital probably at least once a weak can do so much to you mentally. Even if it doesn't seem like a lot, it is. It drains you mentally. It's scary to know if you stop taking your medicine, you will pass away quickly.

''You look pretty tonight'' he smiled and his words came out slowly. You felt his hands move up to your cheek, feeling it shake against your skin. You giggled, knowing it would probably take so much energy for him to even raise his hand. Your make up was probably smudged from crying and your hair looked a mess, so him saying you look pretty made you bubbly.

''Are you coming back home soon?''

''I'm allowed to go back once I've gained more weight or something. Eh, and once they've done all the tests. Blablabla'' he rolled his eyes.

You met his gaze and his eyes softened as they were slowly closed because his lips were curled up into a smile. You looked at him for about three seconds until you unconsciously moved your head down. You planted a soft kiss on his cheek and when you sat up again, you saw him blush like crazy.

You could hear him mumble as he sheepishly broke eye contact. His eyes closed and you studied his features more. You were glad to have him in your life and wouldn't know what to do without him. Him continuously talking like he's actually going to die made you feel nervous.

''Kurapika is a lucky man'' he mumbled, eyes closed. You exhaled, not knowing what to respond to that. You stood up after realising Azami had fallen asleep. His eyes were shut tight and his lips were parted slightly as he breathed softly.

You ruffled his hair gently before leaving the hospital room and took a taxi home. You stepped in your dark, cold apartment and went straight to bed. You stared at your ceiling, a million thoughts flooding your mind.

°•. ✿ .•°

You got out of bed the second you opened your eyes, not wanting to stay in bed all day. You felt upset but didn't want it to ruin your days. You stood in the kitchen, making breakfast for yourself until you heard someone knocking on the door.

''I swear to god of it's rin,'' you hissed, already getting pissed off at the thought of seeing your sister.

You turned off the stove and walked to your door, swinging it open.

''Mom?'' you whisper, frowning your brows slightly seeing your mom stand in the door opening. She smiled weakly at you, ''what are you doing here?'' you asked.

''I wanted to talk to you'' she said and you sighed as you stepped aside, letting your mom inside your apartment. You gave her a cup of freshly brewed coffee and sat down next to her on the sofa. She looked at you and pursed her lips together.

''About Kurapika...'' she started but you immediately stopped her.

''I'm not going to listen to you lecturing me, mom. With all due respect, I'm done with it. I love him, mom. I love him with all of my heart and Rin knew that. It's not my fault she decided to date someone she knows is the love of my life.''

''I didn't come here to give you a lecture, Y/N'' your mom sighed and stared off into the distance, ''I came here to apologise.''

Your eyes widen hearing the words leave her lips. You frowned your brows in confusion, not understanding what was going on, ''what? Is this a joke?''

Your mom put her hand on your knee, ''I should've stopped Rin from dating him. I know that sounds strange, but I should've known trouble was going to come if you found out. I only told Rin not to tell you, and seeing how happy she was, I couldn't tell her to think about your feelings. I'm sorry.''

''In all those nine years of me being a fucking mess this is your shitty excuse? Why the hell does nobody care about my feelings? All I hear is Rin this, Rin that, where do my feelings matter in this story? It's like you and dad both forgot my feelings, no, me as a whole person exists! You only keep her feelings in mind, not mine. Fuck Rin, she's just a spoiled bitch.''

Your mother kept quiet, sadness showing in her eyes. You didn't care, not even a little. All these years people have only taken her feelings into mind. Nobody made sense. It was like everyone forgot about you in those years. You again heard knocking on the door. You groaned and opened the door aggressively, revealing a crying Rin.

''What is it. Kurapika broke up with you?'' you bluntly said.

''Dad... he passed away''


	20. Prepare myself

''That was the other thing I wanted to tell you'' your mother spoke and you stared at the ground. You felt like you couldn't breathe. Your relationship with your dad was awful, but he was family. It felt like bad thing after bad thing came crashing in your life. Nothing was going right. It was like years of built-up bad luck crashed down on you. So much drama was happening and you didn't know how to take it anymore.

Rin sobbed into your mother's arm and you stared at her. Her black hair into her face, giving you no way to be able to see her face. You sighed and brought your hands up to your face, covering yourself as you let the tears fall down your face.

You hated that man. You despised that man. Why would you be crying? Your breath was shaking just like your hand. You felt two arms embracing you. You looked up, seeing Rin hugging you. Your eyes widen as more tears burnt into your eyes.

''What the hell?'' you whispered to yourself, ''what the hell is happening? What the fuck is going on?'' you cursed. You were losing your mind at this point. Why could nothing go right? All you wanted was a bit of good luck at this point.

''So that's why I haven't been receiving money,'' you laughed to yourself. You tended to make the worst remarks when being sad, but you had never felt this horrible before. ''Is the world punishing me?'' you said as you looked up to your ceiling.

°•. ✿ .•°

The funeral was today. You've spent the past few days in your bed, completely isolating yourself from the outside world. You hadn't seen Kurapika, although he did leave you some messages and voicemails. You couldn't even enjoy the sweet words he was saying to you. You were too afraid of getting hurt again.

Your heart hurt as you stepped out of your bed, taking a shower and getting dressed. You took a taxi to where you had to be. You sighed as you stepped into the building, filled with people dressed in black. You found Kurapika, Rin and your mother. Rin and your mom were crying and Kurapika hugged Rin, his head resting on hers. Your bottom lip was shaking, you desperately wanted to be embraced. You wanted to feel safe, feel loved.

You and Kurapika made eye contact. You smiled weakly at him and his orbs softened. He let go of Rin, who looked at you. Her eye make up was all smudged and she immediately hugged you when she got the chance.

Your breath hitched and you shakily wrapped your arms around her. When she let go she stared into your eyes, ''Is Azami not here with you? Is he still at the hospital?''

''Yeah'' was all you said. He's probably going to die too, you thought. You couldn't face your mother as you were still angry at her. ''So, what's next?'' you asked.

Everyone looked at you, having no clue what you were getting at. They all stared at you with narrowed eyes, except Kurapika, who's eyes were soft. He looked at you, wanting to hug and kiss you so badly, but he couldn't right now. He wanted to hold you in his arms, running his fingers gently through your hair.

He felt bad for not being able to give you the love and comfort you wanted and deserved so much. He had no idea what you were going through, he couldn't imagine all the emotions and pain living in your heart right now. It might not seem like much to some people, but he knew it was a lot for you. He sometimes even wished you hadn't seen each other again that day. He sometimes wished he hadn't said a word to you that day.

He felt like all the bad luck was coming from him, considering how your life was pretty normal before that day. He gulped as he took a step back and looked away, not bearing the regret and guilt that was building up in the pit of his stomach. He had to do something. He had to do something about this situation, but he knew he couldn't. There was still the possibility of him being the father of Rin's baby, which is what was stopping him from leaving her immediately.

He knows the reason might be a little weak, but he simply couldn't accept the possibility of his kid growing up without a father. Knowing Rin's tantrum's, she wouldn't allow him to see the baby. She would manipulate everyone so she would be the one winning in court if she'd take it that far. Kurapika needed proof. Proof of her pregnancy, to ease his doubts about everything. Once he has the proof, he'd come up with a plan. But he doesn't have much time since the wedding is coming up.

''What do you mean what's next?'' Rin asked you, shaking Kurapika out of his endless thoughts. Kurapika now also narrowed his eyes at you. Rin tilted her head slightly as a few locks of her hair fell into her face. She genuinely didn't know how much pain you were in. She didn't realise how much everything was hurting you.

''Hello?'' Rin spoke and waved her hand in front of your face, trying to catch your attention. You took a deep breath as you wanted to reply, but she interrupted you, ''this probably doesn't hurt you as much as it hurts us. You've always hated dad'' she rolled her eyes. She didn't understand your question.

''Yeah, as I should. I hated that rotten man with every single bone of my body and I had every fucking right to. Since everything in my life is going wrong, I wanted to ask, what's next? What's the next messed up thing that's going to happen? I just wanted to know, so I can prepare myself''


	21. In the end

Kurapika and you sat in your apartment after the funeral. Rin went home with your mother and she surprisingly didn't care when he asked if he could go with you. You were curled up into a ball as you laid down on the couch, wrapped into a thick soft blanket. Kurapika sat on the other end of the couch as he watched you.

''Am I cursed or something?'' you asked him and you heard him chuckle softly.

''I don't think so''

''Then why is everything going wrong?'' you sat up, ''you're going to marry Rin. Azami might die. I don't have any other friends. My dad just passed away and my mom doesn't care about my feelings''

''I'm not going to marry her, Y/N'' Kurapika said and he came closer to you. He held your trembling hands tightly as he stared deep into your eyes, ''I won't marry her. I told you, I'm in love with you''

''Then why did you comfort her the other day? And not me? Why are you still so close with her? Don't you understand it breaks my heart? She doesn't like Azami, yet you went to comfort her.''

''I'm sorry''

''No. A sorry is not enough. I'm so upset with you. I'm furious actually!'' you pouted and snuggled your face into the soft fabric of the blanket. You felt his hand rest on your head as he softly ruffled your hair.

''I'm sorry, baby'' he said and he brought you closer to him. You wrapped your arms around him. He grabbed your face in between his hands and softly planted about twenty kisses on your lips. He sighed as he softly caressed your skin with his thumbs, ''you know I have to act this way with her.''

''Remind me again why you don't just break up with her'' you mumbled and he bit his bottom lip.

''I just can't'' he simply replied, ''not yet''

''But your wedding is soon. I told you I don't want you to go through divorce shit!'' you said and pulled away from his grip.

''I know, I know. I'll take care of it before then, okay? I promise''

You nodded and kissed him. He smiled into the kiss and when he pulled away you stared into his eyes. He was the man of your dreams. Even though you basically had him, he felt so far away. His heart felt so far away.

Like it still wasn't yours. Like it wasn't yours, to begin with. The icky feeling made you tear up again. You wanted him so badly. You were so desperate for him. You thought about Azami's words, was all this pain worth it?

''Are you mine?'' you whispered.

Kurapika kept silent as his eyes widened a little, ''Yes'' he breathed out. You gulped and your lips curled up into a smile. That was something you were longing to hear. You wanted this confirmation. You placed your hands on his warm skin and your eyes started to get covered with your tears, again. You wanted to be happy. He just told you he is yours, Y/N.

''Why can't I be happy with this, then?''

''What?''

''Why can't I feel happy after hearing your answer?''

He stayed silent as his bottom lip started to tremble. He as well, couldn't be happy, not yet. So much sad things had to happen before the sun could shine again. Before everything could be okay, you both had to go through so much. ''We will fight for it. Together. We're in this together, Y/N. Forever'' he said and took your hand in his as he squeezed it gently.

''I asked Azami earlier—''

''You went to see him?''

''Yeah...''

''How is he doing? Is he okay?''

You bit your bottom lip as you sighed whilst shaking your head 'no'. ''I don't know when he will be'' you closed your eyes as you held your head low and pressed it against Kurapika's chest. You felt him softly pat your head and his fingers made its way through it. ''I asked him if it's worth fighting for you.''

Kurapika gulped.

''He asked me if I'll be happy in the end. When everything is done, will I be happy with myself? Will I be able to live with what I've done to my sister?''

Kurapika didn't know what to say. He is the person who asked Rin to marry him and now you sorta had to clean up the mess he had made. If he never dated her in the first place and fought for you, everything would've been different. The situation would've been so different.

''Do you want to be with me, Y/N? Is it worth it for you?''

You kept quiet for a few seconds as you started to doubt everything. The whole situation had made you feel uneasy and insecure for a while now. But you still loved him. That hadn't changed. In all those years, it had never faded away.

''I love you, Kurapika. I love you so much. More than you'll ever be able to imagine. But this hurts. I'll hurt my sister so much, I don't know if I'll be able to bear the guilt I'll be feeling.''

''But she's hurt you too'' he said and bit his bottom lip, not sure if that was the best thing to say at this moment.

''I know. She shouldn't have ever dated you in the first place. Look at me, taking her feelings into mind and completely forgetting about my own, just like everyone else does.''

Kurapika chuckled and took in a deep breath before kissing your forehead and holding your face in between his hands. He stared at you lovingly before kissing your lips softly. You ran your hand through his hair and the kiss got deeper. He wrapped his arms tightly around your body and pulled you closer. Warmth took over and your cheeks flushed a deep shade of red when you felt Kurapika gently tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth. Your tongues danced together and you chuckled quietly into the kiss.

''I will never love anyone more than I love you, Y/N. No matter what will happen in the end.''


	22. Christmas special!

You, Azami and Kurapika decided to celebrate Christmas at Kurapika's friends this year. Rin was at your families house, but you decided not to go after everything that happened. Christmas was a holiday full of joy and happiness, something you wouldn't feel there.

''They can act a bit strange at times,'' Kurapika warned you and Azami as the three of you stood in front of a door. A Christmas wreath filled with decorations and tiny little lights was hung up on the door. Your lips curled up into a smile as you looked at the cute decoration. Kurapika held your hand in his as he knocked on the door, softly squeezing your hand.

''Kurapika!'' a man said happily. He wore a Christmas hat, causing you to giggle softly. You looked behind you at Azami, who seemed very shy. He wasn't the most social person, but you were happy he agreed to come with today.

''Leorio!'' Kurapika walked into the room and gave Leorio a big hug, ''I haven't seen you in a while!'' Leorio said as he rested his hands on Kurapika's shoulders. You and Azami took a step into the room as well, standing next to each other and enjoying the warmth of the house. It smelled like cinnamon and it was decorated to the top. Little lights everywhere, Christmas trees, candles, stars, presents and much more decorations.

You immediately felt happy and smiled at Azami, who also admired all the decorations as he looked around the room, his lips slightly parted.

''Isn't he like 40?'' Azami whispered into your ear. You bit your lip, trying to suppress a laugh.

''I'm the same age as you!'' Leorio said angrily, but laughed soon after.

''Leorio?'' you heard a voice say from the other room, soon the person was revealed. It was a young-looking boy, around 14. He had spiky green hair and he got followed by a cat-like kid, around the same age. He held his hands in his pocket as he followed the other boy to where all of you are standing.

''I'm Gon!'' he said happily and you smiled at him, introducing yourself and Azami did so too.

''Killua'' the other boy said. You introduced yourself as well and after a while of talking to everyone, it felt like all of you had met ages ago. Leorio was very easy to talk to and Azami, Killua and Gon wouldn't stop talking to each other about games and all of the Christmas snacks they were going to eat.

You smiled as you looked at your best friend and you suddenly felt someone take your hand into theirs, squeezing it lovingly. You faced Kurapika and your heart almost jumped out of your chest as you saw the love in his eyes.

''Azami, Killua!'' Gon cheered as he stood up from his chair, both hands steady on the table as he smiled from ear to ear, ''let's play some games! Leorio got me a new game controller!'' the two boys nodded happily and went to the living room. You smiled to yourself and looked at Leorio. Kurapika decided to tell him everything as you sat next to him, playing with his fingers.

''Rin?! Isn't that the 'there's no way you're my age' girl?'' Leorio said mockingly, rolling his eyes, ''Never liked her!''

You snorted, even though he was making fun of your sister. ''Yep, she decided to date my ex-boyfriend'' you looked at Kurapika who squeezed your hand another time as he smiled weakly.

''But in the end, I will marry this beautiful woman next to me'' he smiled and Leorio's lips curled up into a soft smile as he looked at Kurapika, who felt incredibly happy to be able to spend this Christmas with the people he loves most.

''AZAMI, YOU'RE SO GOOD AT THIS GAME!'' you heard Gon scream, followed by Azami's laughter.

''I'm just letting him win!'' Killua defended himself and stood up, balling his fists frustratedly.

''Looks like they're having fun'' you giggled and looked at Leorio. ''They're like family, just like you'' he said as he rested his head on his hand as he looked back at you and Kurapika. You smiled and blushed, his words making you feel special. You felt Kurapika squeeze your hand again and felt his soft lips kiss your cheeks, his hair gently tickling your skin.

''I love you,'' he whispered and you started to blush, even more, smiling shyly at him before quickly breaking eye contact.

''Leorio!'' Gon suddenly came running towards Leorio, who grinned at Kurapika. ''It's snowing outside! Do you know what that means?''

''Huh?!''

''Snowball fight!'' Gon, Killua and Azami said and they all smirked at each other, probably plotting how they'll take each other out. Leorio rolled his eyes, ''Okay, but hit me ONE TIME and you will face the consequences!''

''He's not going to do anything,'' Kurapika whispered into your ear and you laughed. ''Let's go!'' you said as you clapped once, standing up. it was snowing outside and the world was coated in a thick layer of snow. The snow was almost hitting your knees, making it difficult to walk.

''Alright, the rules—'' Killua began and a second later his face turned white from the snow. Everyone kept quiet for a second until Gon started to speak.

''Hey, Killua! No rules!'' he said excited and he smiled until his face also got hit by a snowball, thrown by Killua himself. The cat-like boy had a big grin on his face as he giggled to himself. You widened your eyes as you quickly duck down, seeing a snowball flying at your face.

Your eyes widen and see who fired the snowball, Azami. Azami awkwardly laughed, scratching the back of his head as a blush crept onto his face. You smirked as you took a handful of snow, making it onto a ball and throwing it at Azami, hitting his chest.

''OI!'' he gasped before laughing and patting the snow off his sweater as he coughed. You looked around yourself, trying to find Kurapika but couldn't see him. ''Oh no'' you whispered to yourself and ran to Leorio, who was yelling at Gon and Killua who kept throwing snow at him as they laughed and Azami quickly joined in.

You giggled as you watched Leorio get attacked with snow, completely ignoring everything around you until you felt something as cold as ice in your neck. You gasped from the sudden cold feeling on your skin and your body got coated with goosebumps.

Your body cringed as you slowly turned around, meeting Kurapika's eyes that were sparkling under the night sky. You heard him laugh softly, immediately making you smile as well. He took a step forward to you and put his cold hand on your cheek, the snow that was still on his hand melting on your warm skin.

''I love you,'' he whispered as he kissed your lips softly, his other hand making it to your lower back. you smiled into the kiss, the chilly air not affecting you anymore because of the warmth Kurapika was giving you now.

''EW!'' Killua and Gon both said at the same time as now everyone stood next to both of you. Your cheeks flushed a deep shade of red and you quickly cover them with your hands. You looked at Azami, who smiled sweetly at you.

''HEY!'' Gon suddenly yelled as his hair was covered with white snow, a laughing Leorio stood behind him, more snowballs in his hand ready to get thrown. Killua and Azami laugh, both picking up some snow as well to throw at the little green-haired boy. You all stayed outside for one more hour, fighting each other with snow until it got too cold and you decided to get back in Leorio's apartment.

''Here you go,'' Leorio said as he handed you a cup of hot chocolate with lots of whipped cream on top. All six of you sat in front of the fireplace, sipping on the hot chocolate that Leorio had prepared for the cold evening. You sighed as you wiggled in your seat, snuggling more into Kurapika's body. He had his arms wrapped around you and kissed the top of your head every now and then.

You looked up at him and he smiled, kissing your lips softly. ''Y/N?'' Gon suddenly called out your name and you looked up, seeing him have a serious look on his face. You tilt your head slightly, waiting for him to ask whatever he's about to ask.

''Will you visit Leorio, Killua and me again sometime? With Azami, please?''

Your eyes widen slightly as you smile at him, ''yes of course! Why are you asking me that?''

''Just wondering!'' he laughed and continued to drink his hot chocolate milk. You sighed to yourself, content with how everything was going today. You haven't had so much fun in such a long time because of everything that was happening in your life. You were glad finally a day had come that you could enjoy.

Time went by fast and it was time to go home again since Rin had called Kurapika, asking him to go home. You didn't care too much, you've had a good day and didn't want to think about her too much. You stood at the door with Kurapika and Azami, ready to leave. You smiled as you wrapped your arms around Leorio, saying goodbye to him. You did the same with Killua and Gon.

''Oi, Azami'' Killua said and Azami hummed as he wrapped his scarf around himself, ''next time I won't let you win, alright?''

You looked at Azami, who smiled at Killua. The three of you left the apartment after saying bye about ten more times. You sighed to yourself as you looked up at Kurapika and smiled, feeling his lips on yours shortly after.

''Thank you for an amazing day, Kurapika. I love you.''


	23. I'm sorry, Rin

Kurapika kept silent for a long time as he looked down at the ground. ''What are you thinking about?'' you ask him and he shakes his head, letting out a little flustered laugh. You smile sweetly at him as you place your hand on his cheek.

''I should go pack my things,'' he sighs.

You frown your brows, not understanding what he was talking about. He stood up as he dusted off his pants. He took in a sharp breath as he turned around to face you, ''Y/N? Can I stay with you for a while?''

''What? Why?''

''Please? Just say yes,'' he bit his bottom lip and you nodded, shrugging your shoulders. ''I'm going to Rin now.''

''Why?''

''I need to tell her I can't be with her until she shows me proof of her pregnancy. There's no way it's real anyway.''

''I swear to god, you are so confusing, Kurta,'' you breathe out as you let your head fall back, resting it on the back of the sofa. You closed your eyes as you tried to fight back the doubts you started to have again. Kurapika always said things like this, like, how much he loves you, but continues to stay with Rin. You weren't sure if you could believe him this time.

''What do you mean?''

You sigh as you repositioned yourself, resting your elbows on your thighs as you put both hands on your cheeks. You pouted a little as you looked off into the distance, ''you keep telling me you love me, but you stay with Rin. So, I don't know if you're actually going to—''

''I told you. I'm telling her it's over if she can't give me any proof.''

''So you're only staying with her if she can't show you proof? And what if she does? What if she's actually pregnant and you were wrong this whole time, what are you going to do then? Stay with her?''

Kurapika swallowed thickly and looked at the ground, his body heating up as he started to stress. He wasn't sure. He didn't know what to do. He did not want to have his kid grow up without a father. He would never let that happen. He wasn't sure what Rin was going to do. He wasn't sure if he was going to threaten him, telling him he is not allowed to see his kid if he leaves her. Rin is a petty girl, it wouldn't surprise anyone if that's what she does in the end.

''I'm scared,'' he admits, playing with the hem of his sweater, avoiding eye contact with you. ''I'm afraid of what she's going to do if she ends up being truthful about her pregnancy.''

''What? What are you talking about? What do you mean?''

''You know how Rin can get. She'll throw a tantrum and forbid me from seeing my kid. I can't let my kid grow up without a father, Y/N. You have to understand that.''

''So then what? You're just going to stay with that bitch and pretend to love her? In front of your kid? They will probably find out one day and what are you going to say then? Yeah, I left a girl I genuinely love for your mother simply because I didn't want you to grow up without a dad.''

''You're not being very friendly.''

''Why would I be? Honestly? You're saying you might leave me, Kurapika. After everything.''

Kurapika sighed and covered his eyes with his hands, rubbing them as he started to grow frustrated. ''You're right,'' he breathed out and met your gaze, disappointment shown all over your face. ''What will I do if she tells me I can't see my kid?''

''We'll see about that when it actually happens. We're in this together, right? That's what you said. So, if Rin decides to force you to stay with her. If she tries to manipulate you. We'll find a way to fix it. Together.''

Kurapika bit his bottom lip as he started to get lost in his thoughts. He loves you so much and wants to have a future with you. But he's afraid. Afraid of the woman he used to love. ''You're right. You're right,'' he whispers as he sits next to you, wrapping one arm around your shoulder. You frown your brows slightly before punching his arms.

''You need to get your shit together or it's going to be me who's leaving,'' you said and Kurapika looked up, shocked and his jaw dropped a little. ''Yeah, I can't take any more of this, Kurapika. You told me you're mine, so I want to feel like you are.''

''Mhm,'' Kurapika hummed, ''I understand, baby.''

''Now get your stuff and come back here! I am tired,'' you yawn and cover your mouth with your hands as you closed your eyes slightly, sleepy tears forming in your eyes. Kurapika sighed, trying to keep calm as he felt an unusual anxious feeling creeping up into his body. He pats his thighs before kissing you on your cheek. He stood up and watched you turn on the television, probably to kill some time and wait for him to come back.

''I'm really doing this, huh?'' Kurapika said to himself, walking over to your door until he saw a picture frame in a little open cabinet. He looked at you to see if you were watching, which you were not. He carefully took the picture frame out of the cabinet, smiling as he looked at the picture. It was the first picture you and Kurapika had shot together. He was kissing your cheeks as he looked into the camera and you were smiling.

You could almost see the sparkles in your eyes on the picture. He exhaled as he felt the love for you filling his heart. He cautiously put the vulnerable object back to its place. He looked over at you, your eyes locked on the television screen. He smiled as he took a step closer to you, bending over to give you one last kiss on your head before leaving your apartment.

You gasp as you look up but sweetly laugh after. ''I'll be back soon,'' Kurapika smiled and walked back to the door, opening it and stepping outside of your home. His smile immediately dropped and he clenched his jaw, gulping loudly.

''I can do this. I'm sorry, Rin.''


	24. Show me proof

He took in a sharp breath as he slowly took the keys of his home out of his pocket. He searched for the right one, his hands shaking from stress already. He unlocked his door and stepped inside the dark living room. ''Rin was home right?'' he whispered to himself, suddenly not sure if she went home or not. They hadn't talked much about where they were going to go after the funeral. He only asked if it was okay to go with you, and she didn't mind.

He turned on the lights, not seeing anyone in the room. ''Did she go with her mother?'' he asked himself as he threw his keys on the coffee table. He scratched the back of his head until he felt someone kiss his back, he gasped and turned around quickly, completely caught off guard.

''So you are home,'' Kurapika whispered with widened eyes as he was still startled from Rin's sudden appearance. Rin smiled at him before kissing his lips, Kurapika not kissing back. She knit her brows together in the slightest as a confused smile was on her face, but she brushed it off quickly.

''I'm glad you're home,'' she said slowly, drawing circles on Kurapika's chest. She licked her bottom lip and went for his neck. She kissed his skin as she moved her hands under his sweater, feeling his abs.

''Rin, please. Not now,'' he groaned frustratingly and pushed her away gently. Rin looked surprised, ''but we haven't done it in a while'' she pouted.

''Okay, anyway,'' Kurapika cleared his throat awkwardly, ''I need to talk to you.''

''About what?''

''Let's sit down,'' he tried to stall the confrontation for as long as possible. He wasn't excited to do this, of course. They both sat down on the and Rin tried to cuddle up to him, but he stopped her. ''This is something serious, Rin. Please.''

''Okay... what, you cheated again?'' she deadpanned and laughed right after, ''I'm joking, I'm joking. You wouldn't do that right, Pika? You wouldn't do that to me and... your son.''

''My son?'' Kurapika whispered, the corners of his lips dropping immediately. He gulped before clenching his jaw. 'No. She is lying. She's trying to guilt-trip me. It's not real, she's not pregnant.' Kurapika kept repeating the same words over and over in his mind. Trying his best to convince himself that everything Rin was saying about the pregnancy is fake.

''Yes. We're having a sweet baby boy.''

''No.''

''No?''

''I don't believe you,'' he spoke, shutting his eyes tight and balling his fists on his knees. He tried his best to stay confident and not back out of the confrontation. ''I can't be with you Rin.''

''.....'' Rin kept silent as tears started to build up in her eyes. Kurapika sighed and looked at her, his heart somewhat breaking seeing her on the verge of crying. ''I don't believe you're pregnant,'' he admitted.

Imagine your own fiancé not believing your pregnancy. Her heart broke in her chest and rage and disbelieve engulfed her. She clenched her jaw, ''Why don't you believe me?'' she said through gritted teeth, knitting her brows together and squinting her blue eyes.

''Show me proof then.''

''What? What the hell do I show you, idiot?!'' Rin cursed as she balled her fist as well, slapping her thighs as tears were now streaming down her cheeks.

''An ultrasound,'' he breathed out, ''show me one and I'll believe you. It shouldn't be difficult since you know we're going to have a son. You must have some proof right?''

''Will you stay with me if I show you one?'' she questioned and her voice was shaking. Kurapika stopped breathing for a second, not knowing what to answer. He didn't want to stay with her, even if she was pregnant or not. But he couldn't tell her yet. He couldn't tell her he was going to leave her, not before seeing proof of her pregnancy.

''Nevermind, don't answer that,'' she suddenly said and Kurapika looked away. ''I'll show you the ultrasound. Just ... please don't leave me. I love you. I can't do this without you... and our son needs a father, Kurapika.''

Kurapika swallowed thickly and closed his eyes again before standing up and decided to ignore her altogether, ''I'm going to pack my things. Call me when you have proof.''

''W-Where are you staying? Don't tell me you're going to stay with my whore of a sister!'' she spat out and stood up. Kurapika looked at her belly, trying to convince himself it hasn't grown as much as he could.

''Don't call her that, Rin. Just don't'' Kurapika sneered, growing angry with the woman in front of him, ''Yes, I am staying with her. Because she has always been honest with me and is trying her best to fight for me right now.''

''Because she enjoys stealing shit from others! The girl's never been through bad shit and now suddenly she is the one we need to pity?''

''What are you talking about?'' Kurapika frowned at her and put one arm over the other in front of his chest, waiting for her to answer his question. She took in a deep breath, getting ready to talk down on you.

''Why is she the one who gets to end with you, Kurapika? You proposed to me and the second she walks into your life again, suddenly you don't care for me anymore? Why did you decide to date me in the first place if you knew I'm her—''

''Because you lied, again, Rin. For fucks sake, you told me she fucking cheated on me! You told me she cheated on me with multiple men and women and said that was the reason she stopped writing to me! Because she was 'busy with other people' you said!''

''Y-Yeah well, I thought she cheated on you. She was spending so much time with that scum Azami—''

''He is her best friend Rin. Besides that, the scum here is you. Don't you see all this lying has not brought you anywhere?!'' he yelled at her, not being able to stay calm any longer, ''I can't look at you the same way anymore!''

''I am SORRY!'' she cried out, covering her puffy red, crying eyes with her hands, ''I am so sorry for messing up! I am begging you to forgive me. Nobody is thinking about my feelings. It's all about Y/N! She always gets what she wants. She deserves to feel like shit right now!''

''Bye, Rin,'' Kurapika told her, grabbing his things together and swinging the bag on his shoulder, ''goodbye, you know what to do and I don't want to hear a word form you before you can show me proof.''


	25. Date

Kurapika waited patiently after he knocked on your door exactly two times. He tapped his foot on the ground as he stared at his stuffed bag, full of his clothes. He wasn't quite sure what was going to happen from here. But he prayed with all of his heart that Rin wasn't pregnant and couldn't send him any proof of a baby growing in her tummy. He bit his bottom lip and decided to knock on your door again, thinking you might have not heard it.

''Hi,'' you groggily say as you open the door after letting Kurapika wait for a few minutes. You rub your eyes as you yawned, stepping aside and letting Kurapika inside of your home. ''I'm sorry I fell asleep, it's after midnight after all... I usually don't stay up this late.''

Kurapika chuckled as he took off his jacket, hanging it on the coat rack next to the door. He threw his hands in the air, groaning as he stretched his body, trying to let the stress flow out. He suddenly felt you wrap your arms around his body and he smiled, a blush slightly forming on his cheeks. You looked up at him, your smile dropping as you looked at the mark on his neck. You knit your brows together as you let your limbs fall to the side of your body, Kurapika's arms still wrapped around you.

''What's the matter?'' he asks, genuinely not understanding the sudden change. He tilted his head slightly, giving you even more access to look at the love bite on the skin of his neck. You sigh and let your forehead rest against his chest, too tired to get upset.

''It's not what it looks like, Y/N.''

''It's a hickey, obviously.'' You groan and wiggle yourself out of Kurapika's grip, walking to your bedroom with Kurapika following behind. You were already in your pyjama's, well, an oversized T-Shirt counted as pyjama's to you. You let yourself fall into your bed and pull the sheets over your body.

''We didn't make out or do anything. I pushed her away before she could do anything else, don't worry, please?'' he huffed as he took off his clothes, only leaving his boxers on. He got into bed, pulling you closer to his body. ''I believe you,'' you mumble as you close your eyes, starting to relax to the touch of him. He gently let his fingers go through your hair, which you adored.

''Let me take you out on a date tomorrow,'' he whispered into your ear with a raspy voice. You move your hand to his, squeezing it lovingly as you try to turn your body around. Your faces are now only a few inches away, feeling his warm breath hitting your face. You smile as you lean in, kissing him passionately. His hand moved down to your ass and he gripped it roughly. You yelp before pinching his cheek and kiss the tip of his nose. You moved one leg in between his, wanting to be closer to him and feel more of his warmth.

''What do you want to do?'' you ask him as you place one of your hands on his cheeks. You kiss his lips before letting him answer your question. Even though you didn't know what you two were going to do, you were already very excited. He and Rin were not dating anymore, technically. Which put your mind at ease a little, at least you tried.

''I was thinking of ice skating,'' he breathed out, ''since it's snowing outside and there's an ice skating rink close by. It's just a few miles away from here. We can go there on foot and get some hot chocolate on the way.''

''But I'm so bad at ice skating, though!'' you admitted and snuggled your face in the crook of his neck, closing your eyes and tried to fall asleep. It was already late at night and you wanted to have enough energy for ice skating tomorrow. You listened to Kurapika's heartbeat as you felt him wrap his arms around you, having a firm grip on you.

''It's okay,'' he whispered, ''I'll just laugh very hard when you fall.'' Your eyes shot open and looked up at him, smiling as you saw a big grin spread across his face with his eyes closed. You knew that was actually what he was going to do. He'd laugh first and then help you, but you would do the same if he fell.

''Sure, that's fine,'' you giggle as you kiss his skin. ''Kurapika?'' you call out his name as you started to overthink the whole situation again. He hummed, letting you know he has heard you. You kept quiet for a second, swallowing your words.

''What's wrong?'' he asked, kissing the top of your head and you sigh. ''Will we be able to you know... kiss in public?'' you question and Kurapika keeps silent for a second.

''That's such a weird question.''

''How? What if Rin sees us or Hayami? She will tell Rin for sure and Rin will cause a scene.''

''Rin and I aren't together, Y/N. I told her not to contact me until she has proof of her pregnancy. She isn't pregnant, so there's just no way she will ever be able to show me proof. She might try to show me a fake ultrasound, though.''

''She probably will,'' you breathe out and Kurapika chuckles, realising how bizarre Rin actually is. ''Yeah, it won't surprise me,'' he admits and he gently runs his fingers on your back. ''If she does see us, or Hayami, it won't matter. She knows where she stands, I think.''

You didn't say a word as you tried to block out your anxiety, trying to keep calm in his arms. ''You should sleep now, baby,'' Kurapika whispers into your ear and you nod. He wanted to sleep quickly as he didn't want to overthink the situation any further. He pretty much told Rin they are broken up if she can't show proof, right? So, as long as she doesn't have proof, they're not together.

He runs his fingers through his hair as he sighs. He clinches onto you and kisses you one last time before you both slowly start to fall asleep, excited for the date.


	26. Engagement ring

''Y/N?'' a voice called your name as you laid flat down on your tummy, hands tucked under your pillows as your eyes were still closed. You groaned as you just woke up, wanting to sleep a little longer. ''Are you awake, Y/N? I've made breakfast for you.''

You mumbled something inaudible whilst moving onto your back before rubbing your eyes. ''I want to sleep a little longer,'' you sigh as you let your limbs fall back onto the bed. You slightly open your eyes, seeing Kurapika lean against the door frame with a sweet smile spread across his face. ''What?'' you whine.

''It's 11:30 already. I want to have breakfast with you, angel,'' he stepped towards you, sitting down next to you on the bed. He ran his fingers through your hair as he smiled before leaning in and kissing you on your forehead.

''Alright,'' you huff and Kurapika leaves the room, giving you some space to change your clothes. You raise your hands into the air, stretching your body. You exhale as you move out of your bed, putting on a simple outfit and brushing your teeth. You were going to take a shower later since you suddenly started to feel hungry and just wanted to eat the breakfast Kurapika had prepared for you. You pat some imaginary dust off your jeans as you notice something shiny on the nightstand. You tilt your head slightly as you narrow your eyes, trying to take a better look at it.

It was Kurapika's engagement ring.

You widen your eyes, realising Kurapika had taken it off. 'So, he's actually serious about this, huh?'' you whisper to yourself and can't help but smile. Your mood skyrocketed, realising from here on everything was going to get better for the both of you. That is if Rin is not pregnant and therefore can't give Kurapika any proof.

Knowing Rin she might just print out an ultrasound and use that as proof, so hopefully, Kurapika will be careful. But if everything was going to go according to plan, it would mean you and Kurapika would finally end up together. After those nine years of loving him, being sad over him and missing him, you were going to have him back.

'Will you be happy with yourself?'

You sigh as you sit back down on the bed, Kurapika's ring in your hand. Azami's words came crashing into your mind, realising this will end up with Rin hating you forever. God, she probably won't even want to be around you ever again. ''I remember when we were inseparable,'' you chuckle to yourself before inhaling a sharp breath.

You quickly stand up, hearing Kurapika call out your name again. You huff as you put the ring back to its place and walk out of your bedroom. The scent of freshly brewed coffee hit your face, waking you up instantly. Kurapika stood behind the stove, preparing more food for the both of you. He wore an oversized sweater that hung loosely around his body. You hummed as you wrapped your arms around him, your head resting on his back. His hand reached your back and he gently rubbed it for a second before focusing on the food again.

''It smells good,'' you hum as you take a seat at the dining table, eyes on the man in the kitchen. ''Does it? This is better than you could ever make your pancakes smell,'' he says haughtily, putting a few pancakes on your plate. You narrow your eyes as you click your tongue.

''I will make you fall when we're ice skating later today.''

''Yeah? What if I get injured?''

''You can give Azami some company.''

Kurapika widens his eyes and lets out a loud chuckle, ''I just know Azami wouldn't be able to stop laughing if that happened,'' he sighs as he takes the seat on the other side of the table. He takes a bite of the pancakes on his plate and rubs your hand, seeing your sad face.

''You miss him. Don't you?'' Kurapika's eyes soften as he watches your bottom lip tremble a little. He quickly stands up and walks over to you, wrapping his arms around your body. You snuggle your face into his chest as you let out a shaky breath.

''I do. So much. He can be so annoying, but I even miss the irritating things he does! I miss how he would ramble about his games all the time or yell in the middle of the night or scream along with his favourite songs and say he's just singing. He's always been here with me, Pika, I never realised how lonely I feel without him.''

''He can move in with us after we get married,'' Kurapika says, rubbing your cheeks lovingly. You laugh at him, ''Oh god, you will be in for a ride if we let that happen!'' you speak and kiss Kurapika's cheek. He blushes slightly as he moves away and clears his throat before taking his seat again, continuing his breakfast.

''He'll come back soon, right?''

''Mhm,'' you take a bite of the fluffy pancake, ''he told me he's coming back once he has gained more weight and once they've done all the tests on him. Oh— did you know Mai has a crush on him?''

''Mai?'' he tilted his head slightly, trying to remember the girl named Mai. He hasn't seen her often, because he just simply didn't get the chance to. She moved to Tokyo before you did. Kurapika has never liked her that much, she tended the get possessive over you at times. ''Ah, that Mai. Azami wouldn't like her,'' he mumbled and you nod.

''I don't think he's ever liked an actual human being in that way,'' he added and a quiet laugh followed right after. You purse your lips together and nod slowly. Kurapika didn't know about the confession and you weren't going to tell him. There was no reason anyway. Azami lost his feelings already and you love Kurapika.

You play with the hem of your fluffy turtleneck and bite your bottom lip awkwardly as your eyes shift to his hands. You didn't want to talk about Rin anymore, but you felt like you had to talk about this.

''I see you've taken off your engagement ring.''


	27. Feel better

''I see you've taken off your engagement ring,'' you bite your bottom lip as you poke the pancake with your fork, waiting for Kurapika's reply.

The chewing Kurapika stopped for a second before continuing eating the breakfast he's made. His eyes shifted to his hand, which just felt naked to him after wearing the engagement ring for so long. He swallowed his food, licking his bottom lip and inhaled deeply. ''I have,'' he breathed out.

''So, it's finally going to happen, is it?''

''It is,'' he smiled weakly, taking your hand in his for a second before letting go. You scratched the back of your head as you tried your best to find the right way to word things.

''I've talked to Mai a while back and she asked me to promise her to talk to Rin.''

''Mai? Why?'' Kurapika frowned, letting go of his knife and fork as he stared into your eyes. The reason you were going to talk to Rin isn't only because Mai has asked you to, that would be strange. You wanted to talk to her sister and find the answers to some of your questions. You were sick of wondering the why's and how's and just wanted to confront her at this point.

''Rin is my sister and I want answers, Pika. I want to ask her why she's doing this knowing how much it was going to hurt me when I find out. I should have asked her way sooner, I know. I'm sick of this and I want some things to be said. The marriage isn't going to happen, right? I want to be honest with Rin and tell her how I feel about her now.''

''Should I come with you?'' he asked sweetly, taking your hand in his again and rubbing your skin with his thumb. You shook your head, ''no, this is something between Rin and me. I can do it on my own.''

''Alright, I understand,'' he stands up, taking your and his empty plate to the kitchen, placing them in the sink. You get up from your seat and wrap your arms around his neck while you kiss his lips lightly. He smiles into the kiss and wraps his arms around your body, pulling you closer to his own.

''I should go get ready,'' you whisper whilst your faces are only a few inches away. You stare into his eyes for a second before letting go of him and making your way to the bathroom, ready to take a shower and get ready for the date Kurapika had planned.

While you are showering Kurapika sits himself down on your sofa, staring at the black television screen. He's been feeling anxious ever since he basically 'broke up' with Rin. He wouldn't know what to do if Rin's pregnancy is real because of what he had been telling himself this whole time.

He doesn't want his kid to grow up without a father.

It's what he has been repeating over and over again in his mind and if Rin turns out to be pregnant, he wasn't going to let it happen. If Rin was going to forbid him from seeing his child, he will take it to court if he has to. He doesn't want Rin to manipulate him any longer. But she always had her ways of making things go her way, so, he had to be strong. He had to, to get his happy ending. The happy ending he was longing to get after all of the tragedy going on.

He sighs as he let himself sink into the sofa more, letting his feelings take over his mind. Terrible anguish struck his heart. He regrets being with Rin so much. He regrets believing the misleading things she's made up and most of all he regrets proposing to her. Rin had always shown her 'good' side to him. At one point it was like she was not even real because it seemed like she had no flaws. But it turns out she was different. A whole different person. And he was afraid of that side of her because he knows she can control him.

He shakes his head, trying to get rid of his thoughts as he sees you walk back into the living room. You wore nice, warm looking clothing with your coat already on and your scarf wrapped around your neck. You crack a smile as you hand him over his scarf and coat.

''Should we go now?'' you ask him sweetly, watching him put his jacket and scarf on also. He nods and the two of you leave your apartment. The chilly winter breeze hit your face and you look around yourself. The roads were white because of the snow and everyone was wearing thick coats. Your lips curled up when you feel Kurapika take your hand in his and you look up to him, seeing him smile with sparkles in his eyes caused a blush to spread across your cheeks.

The two of you reached a little stand which is selling hot drinks and pastries to the people out on the streets. Kurapika let's go of your hand whilst taking a step forward, ordering a coffee for you and himself. You thanked him and took a sip of the warm, bitter drink.

''I'm so ready to see you fall, Pika. Don't worry about me, I'm good at this,'' you grinned to yourself as the both of you reached the ice skating rink. There were a bunch of people on the ice already, from older people to little children. ''Maybe Gon and Killua are here as well!'' your voice grows bubbly and Kurapika cracks a smile.

''They might be!'' he replies, putting the ice skates on and tied the laces of the ice skates tightly. You did the same and took a step on the ice as you hold Kurapika's hand firmly.

''Oops,'' you gasp as you almost tumble over, but Kurapika was quick to capture your waist, stopping you from falling after being on the ice for just a brief moment.

''I thought you were good at ice skating, huh?'' he speaks sarcastically, laughing softly at you because he thinks you're cute. You tap his hands, causing him to let go of you and you smirk at him.

''I'm just pretending to be bad so you will feel better!''


	28. Good time

You aren't the best at ice skating, but you aren't the worst either. You knew the basics since Azami and you would go ice skating every year and he thought you a few things. Around twenty minutes had passed and you were having fun. The chilly winter air went through your air as you were ice skating at a comfortable speed.

''Kurapika?'' you called out his name, only now realising he wasn't next to you anymore. You stopped yourself and turned around, brows slightly raised as you couldn't seem to find him anywhere. It was busy, but not so busy that it was impossible to find the person you came with. You looked around until you saw him on the ground, rubbing his back as he tried to stand up but ended up on the ground again.

You goggle at him in surprise whilst your lips curl up into a smile until you couldn't keep quiet anymore. You burst out into laughter, seeing Kurapika still struggling to get up on his feet. You covered your mouth, realising how loud your laugh was, but no one seemed to look at you.

''What the hell,'' you whisper to yourself as you decided to let Kurapika struggle for a little longer. He deserved it after everything. You bit your bottom lip whilst trying your best to keep your mouth shut. Kurapika looked like a newborn foal or calf that tried to stand up after being born and it was amusing to you.

He holds his arms next to his body as he bent his knees slightly, trying his best to stay steady onto the slippery ice. You skated towards him now, wanting to laugh in his face. ''Hey!'' you smirk and he frowns and rolls his eyes playfully.

''You did not see that.''

''What? How you fell and tried to stand up only to fall back on the ground again?'' you giggled, taking both of his hand in yours to give him a little more support. ''Since when are you so good at this?'' he breathed out, already short of breath.

''I had a professional teacher!'' you smirked at him and he shook his head a laugh following right after. ''Come on,'' you giggled and began to skate again, holding onto one of his hands so you could basically pull him with you.

You looked over at him and smiled at how cutely he was struggling to stay up and not land on the ground again. You look straight ahead, averting your focus on the 'road' and decide to go a little faster, hoping Kurapika would keep up with you. You suddenly felt him pull your hand and you look over at him right away. His eyes widen and he falls again, but you quickly let go of him so he won't take you down with him.

He fell on the hard ice with a thump and slid a little further because of how slippery the ice is. You slap your hand on your mouth, feeling the embarrassment he must feel right now. You tried extremely hard to stay silent and not laugh at him, considering the loud noise his body made on the ice.

''Wow, are you okay, Pika? You just ate shi—''

''SHUT UP!'' he laughed loudly whilst he tries to stand up, now kneeling in front of you. His coat was covered in the loose ice that was on the ice skating rink and you couldn't stop laughing as he realised how awful he is at this. He put his hands on his thighs, resting on them as he tried to catch his breath desperately.

''I thought you were going to be bad at this,'' he admitted and you propped your hands on your hips as you gave him a look that told him he'd be sleeping on the sofa tonight, ''what? I've never seen you ice skate before!''

''Don't underestimate me.''

''Right! I shouldn't have. I'm making a fool out of myself!'' he laughed and you smiled back at him. ''Yeah... maybe just a little,'' you joked as you held out your hand, wanting him to take it to drag himself up. He looked up at your hand and his eyes shifted to your face as a playful grin reached his face. He placed his hand in yours and pulled you down out of the blue, catching you off guard and on the ground.

''HEY!''

''What? It's not fair if I'm the only one who fell today,'' he grinned and you lift your brows before shoving him onto his back and standing up, skating away as fast as you possibly could.

''Go on. Try to stand up on your own, Kurta!'' he hears you yell in the distance. He notices you lean against the fence, one leg over the other as your arms were crossed in front of your chest. You waited patiently for him to stand up again, secretly hoping he'd fall again as payback for making you fall also. ''Alright, this isn't difficult. Not at all,'' he whispered to himself as he tried to convince himself to trust his own words.

He managed to stand up with wobbly legs and pretty much walked back to you since he wasn't going to try ice skating again. It would only make you laugh at him and feed your ego, but that wasn't what he cared about. He just didn't want to end up injuring himself very bad. He cherishes your laugh and if that meant he had to fall once or twice ... or about ten times, then he'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. He wanted to see that beautiful smile on your face again and again and again.

''Okay, before I end up getting myself a concussion, let's go get something to eat,'' Kurapika huffed as he was out of breath again. You hummed with sparkles in your eyes. Both of you took of the ice skates, paying for the time you spent on the ice skating rink and walked to the little bar that was part of this all.

You ordered two hot chocolates, giving one to Kurapika and paid for it. You walked next to the blonde man, searching for a table and sitting down. ''This was fun,'' you smiled at him and he returned a loving smile, sparkles in his eyes twinkling.

''Apart from the pain I feel right now, I had a good time.''


	29. I love you

You felt content walking under the night sky next to the person you had loved for what felt like a century. Finally, you two could walk outside and feel somewhat at peace. Knowing Rin couldn't accuse anyone of cheating this time, because simply nobody did. The stars shined brightly, intensifying the sparkles that had come back into your eyes. You finally started to get back the happiness you had been missing for a while now.

You had an amazing day today. You had dinner with Kurapika at the ice skating rink. Eating your favourite meal with the man of your dreams. You had tried your best to convince him to go back on the ice one more time, but he rejected the request. He did not want things to go wrong. Because if they did, then he'd had to recover and stuff. That would be a pain in the ass.

''Hey, I love you,'' Kurapika smiled as he gently took your hand in his and interlacing your fingers. You smiled as you looked up at him, your eyes twinkling from happiness. By now you knew he loved you and his words were genuine. You couldn't help, but still have an anxious feeling lingering in your body. Which was normal, because Rin hadn't come back to Kurapika with whatever proof she could find.

But for now, you didn't want to spend the time you have with him thinking about every possibility of your happiness crashing apart. You wanted to look and move forward, hoping one day you could leave all of this behind. You wanted to leave everything in the past, your sister as well.

You were done with her. Absolutely, completely, a hundred percent done with the girl. You were hoping she'd come back to Pika, begging him to forgive her for lying about the baby growing in her tummy. You knew Kurapika would simply shut the door into her face, as he should.

You wrap your arms around Kurapika's until you two reach your apartment complex and you let go of him. You huff as you unlock your door and take off your coat and scarf, neatly hanging them on the coatrack and Kurapika did the same.

''What do you want to do tonight? It's only 9 PM,'' you huff as you look around your living room, trying to come up with something fun to pass some time with. You felt Kurapika's fingertips glide along your arms, your skin tickling because of the delicate touch.

''I could think of something fun,'' he breathed into your ear, leaning over so he had access to nibble on your skin. You felt your skin tingle under his touch, your entire body suddenly feeling very sensitive. You heard Kurapika chuckle, his warm breath hitting your ear. The chuckle sent vibrations through your body, making you gasp softly.

Your mind went blank and you went for his lips, crashing yours on his and you heard him moan at the sudden attack. Your lips moved perfectly together, carefully biting his bottom lip so he would gasp, which was the perfect timing to move your tongue in. You fought for dominance, but his sudden tight grip on your waist caught you off guard, causing him to win. He ran his hands through your hair, tugging on it softly first, but gradually got more aggressive.

''Not fair,'' you breathe out whilst your eyes were focused on his plump lips. A dark chuckle left his mouth, it was like he had become a whole different person. Your eyes shifted to his and you noticed how dark they had gotten. Lust was what they showed and only that, nothing else.

''Can I touch you?'' he said awfully casually which made you giggle at him. You nodded as you started to get impatient. He lifted you into his arms and you wrapped your legs around his abdomen whilst you two were still making out. He opened the door to your bedroom violently and let you fall onto the bed. The two of you quickly took off your sweaters, throwing them onto the ground. You chuckled as he hovered over you, both of his hands next to your head so you had nowhere to go. You were trapped under him.

His lips found your neck to him and he started to kiss it, every now and then feeling a sharp pain which made you gasp. He left hickeys and bite marks all over your chest, assuming you might feel uncomfortable if the whole world would be able to see them on your neck. You sighed as the air left your lungs, shaking a little. You held his head in between your hands gently, feeling his soft hair brush against your skin.

Kurapika left a trail of kisses from your neck down to your breasts, taking one into his mouth and sucking your nipple. He swirled his tongue around the bud, sending shivers down your spine as you arched your back. A quiet moan left your lips and Kurapika glanced up at you.

''I love the noises you're making, baby,'' he admitted before continuing what he was doing. You bit your bottom lip, feeling shy all of a sudden, but you enjoyed hearing Kurapika's voice. He continued kissing your skin, going down to your sensitive area. He looked up at you and you nodded quickly, wanting him to pleasure you more. He quickly took off your jeans and heard something rip, your panties. You were about to scold him but he hummed, dragging his tongue along your slit.

''Fuck,'' you breathed out, swallowing thickly before arching your back more, your body jolting at the intense pleasure you were feeling already. Kurapika grinned as he began to plant wet kisses all over your inner thighs before kissing your sensitive bud. You yelped, feeling the shocks of pleasure going through your body.

''You like that, huh?'' Kurapika whispered and you tried your best to find the words to say, but all you managed to get out of your throat were some inaudible words. Kurapika didn't care though. He ran his fingers over your slit, barely touching your skin.

''Stop teasing me,'' you whined and he laughed at you, making you feel even more embarrassed. ''Teasing you, huh? I would never,'' he said with a deep voice, the tone only could make you cum already. He rapidly put two fingers inside of you, moving them in and out at a fast speed for a few seconds. You were a moaning mess, almost unable to control yourself. You felt a knot forming in your stomach and just before it was going to burst, Kurapika took his fingers out. He licked them slowly, licking them clean and plopping them out of his mouth before smiling at you.

He unbuckled his belt, taking it off slowly before spanking you once and throwing the piece on the ground. He removed his jeans along with his boxers and went back to kissing you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him lovingly. You felt him bite your bottom lip, pulling on it before letting go. You felt him stroke himself a few times since you felt his hand touching your thigh, before trying to find your entrance. You lifted yourself up a little, making it easier for him.

He entered you and your eyes rolled back, the sudden feeling of completely being filled up hit you. ''W-wait,'' you stuttered before swallowing thickly. The pain of your walls being stretched washed over you and disappeared in a second.

''Are you okay? Can I move?'' he asked, caressing your cheek lovingly. You nodded and he kissed your lips once before moving his hips. You gasped feeling the pleasure tickle every sense in your body, goosebumps coating your skin. ''Kurapika,'' you moaned and his breath hitched. ''What?'' you giggled and he groaned, closing his eyes and biting his bottom lip.

''Nothing.''

''Ah,'' you breathed out and he began to go faster, repositioning his body and pushing your legs back before wrapping them over his shoulders. He fucked you deeper, driving you over the edge and causing you to moan his name loudly. Which he seemed to enjoy a lot. Maybe a little much considering his speed kept going up, causing the knot in your stomach to return.

''K-Kurapika,'' you groaned, ''don't stop,'' you begged him. The knot in your stomach started to get tighter and you wanted to feel the waves of pleasure, which you did soon after you told him not to stop. You came all over his member and he came soon after. You felt the warm liquid drop onto your stomach and felt Kurapika fall next to you.

''That was ... good,'' he puffs his words out before standing up and grabbing a towel to clean you off. You simply smiled and nodded, feeling very tired all of a sudden. You moved your body under the blankets and Kurapika joined you soon after, feeling his warm body against yours.

Your eyes are closed whilst smiling whilst you draw little circles on his bare skin, ''I love you.''


	30. Be quiet

''Good morning, baby,'' you heard someone say with a sweet, but raspy morning voice. You smiled to yourself, knowing who the familiar voice was shortly after your mind started to wake up. You rolled over to face him and he smiled, laying on his side and holding his head up with his hand.

''So, last night—'' he started but you quickly interrupted him, covering his lips with yours as he hummed into the kiss. He rolled over onto his back and you rested your body on top of his, resting his hands on your waist. Your lower area hurt, which caused your heated body to cool down immediately after feeling the bitter pain.

''Wanna go for another round?'' he asked, raising a brow after you broke the kiss. You chuckled and pushed yourself up, covering yourself with your hands, realising you had fallen asleep naked. You quickly pull the covers off Kurapika to cover yourself and ran to your bathroom, dropping it right before going in.

You glare at yourself in the mirror, your fingers tracing the hickeys and love bites Kurapika had marked on your body. You bite your bottom lip as a blush reached your face and you quickly slapped your hands on your cheeks, feeling the heat of them made you giggle. You looked like a schoolgirl who was messing around with their crush.

You walk over to the shower, turning it on and wait for about five seconds to spare yourself the ice-cold water on your body first thing in the morning. You step inside, closing your eyes as you let the water run over your face.

While you were showering, Kurapika was still in your bedroom, holding his engagement ring in between his fingers. He studied the silver ring carefully, reading his and Rin's name that was carved on the inside of it. He gulped, putting it back on the nightstand and getting out of the bed. He put on some simple clothes, just a sweater and some sweatpants. Walking over to the kitchen, he bit his bottom lip, feeling too lazy to make breakfast.

''She wouldn't mind, right?'' he asked himself and took his phone in his hands, scrolling through it while he tried to find a place to order some breakfast at. After a few seconds of searching, he found something and ordered a nice early meal.

You were still taking a shower and he waited for the food to arrive, which it did fairly fast. So, he opened the door and put the food on plates and waited for you to be done with getting ready for the day.

''Hey,'' you say, your hair still damp from the shower. He scanned your body, finding out you also weren't in the mood for any fancy clothes. You just wore comfy joggers and a big shirt tucked inside of it. ''This looks so good, Pika!'' you chirp and he bites his bottom lip.

''Did you order this?''

''Nope, made it all myself,'' he popped the 'p' and grinned from ear to ear. You frowned your brows and cracked a smile at him. ''Then what's that?'' you ask him and point at the brown bag next to the door. On the bag the words ''breakfast & lunch'' was written in thick capital letters and there was no denying it.

''Huh? Oh, that? That's nothing,'' he walked over to the bag, quickly kicking it away. He laughed at you with his arms behind his back, which made you laugh too. You tilted your head disapprovingly and he came up to you, holding your face in between his warm hands and kissing your lips softly, pressing his forehead against yours.

''I love—''

''You're so stupid.''

''Hey! How about you stop being mean to me,'' he said, putting his hand against his chest to pretend to feel hurt by your words. You giggled as you walked over to the table, taking your seat and resting your head on both hands.

You winked at him, ''what? You were probably just going to brag about how good at cooking you are!'' you half-joked. It's what he liked doing because of the one pizza incident that happened years ago. He still held it against you after all those years. Even though you had improved, and he knew that as well, he loved teasing you about it.

''The taste won't be far off from my incredible cooking anyway,'' he bragged and smirked at you as he took the seat on the other side of the table. He looked at the food on his plate for a second before taking his fork in his hand and took a bite of the eggs. After swallowing it, he stayed silent and you knit your brows together.

''What's the matter? Is it not good?'' you questioned him, eager to know his thoughts. You had not taken a bite yet, for no particular reason. You tilted your head, wondering what was going through his mind right now.

''It's good. Too good. You won't be impressed by me anymore after eating this,'' he said sulkily and you couldn't help but burst out into laughter. You shook your head as you started to eat your breakfast too. It was good, better than Kurapika's cooking. But you didn't want to rub it in his face, so you simply kept quiet and told him his cooking is way better.

''Do you have anything in mind we can do today?'' Kurapika asked you when you stood up and took his and your own plate to the kitchen. You opened the dishwasher, putting in the two plates and your glasses the two of you used when eating breakfast. You thought of something fun to do, but couldn't think of anything. 

''Hmm, not really. Do you?'' you flicked your hair away and turned around, only to find out Kurapika was now only a few inches away from you. Not too close, but not far away either. You blushed seeing a smirk form on his face and you shook your head as you exhaled, ''no. None of that!''

Kurapika's lips curled up into a boyish grin, closing his eyes while doing so. ''Okay, okay,'' he grinned, ''I'm sorry. Another time then?''

''Oh, be quiet.''


	31. Oi

You hum as you walk to the big bookshelf in your living room, rummaging through some books, you finally found what you were looking for. You carefully took the big black book out of the shelf and sat yourself down on the sofa with the book on your lap. ''Come,'' you waved, signalling Kurapika to sit down next to you. He, who had been watching what you were trying to find nodded and walked over to you. He takes the seat next to you and leans his head over your shoulder to get a better look. You opened it, having to hold the cover with both hands considering the weight of it.

''Do you remember this?'' you ask and point to the photo of you two together, holding hands and smiling into the camera. It was a photobook full of photos you had collected from your time with Kurapika. You thought it would be a nice present to him when you two were still together.

''I do remember that,'' he smiled and kissed your cheek lovingly, resting his arm over your shoulder. You flicked through the pages, smiling and pointing at some ridiculous photos the both of you had taken years ago. It brought back a lot of memories, happy memories.

''And this party, do you remember that?'' you laughed at the sudden flashbacks going through your mind as you stare at the picture taken at a party. Kurapika's eyes widen and his lips curl up into a sly smile.

''Of course, I do! I fell so hard. You're not supposed to laugh at that,'' he chuckled and pulled your body closer to his, planting another kiss on top of your head this time. Kurapika was very, very drunk at the party and when going back home, he fell from his bike purely because he was confused about the direction he had to go.

''Oh, and this?'' you chirped, a smirk forming on your face when you flicked through the pages, trying to find your best to find the picture you were looking for. You pointed at it and Kurapika's eyes widen. ''It's the first picture we took with Azami!''

''His hair...'' Kurapika mumbled as he pointed at Azami and shifted his eyes to yours, ''the short hair!''

''Yeah, he looks so different!'' you smile, eyes glued to the picture in the book on your lap. ''Speaking of Azami, do you remember when you wanted to make ramen for yourself and he unplugged the electric kettle?''

''I do,'' Kurapika nodded, cracking a smile as he thought back to the memory, ''he unplugged it because his game controller was dead, he wanted to charge it but forget to take his charger out.''

''Yes!'' you laughed, ''you didn't notice it first and got so upset with him!''

''Of course, I was!'' Kurapika sighed, flicking through the pages. He obviously had never seen— or forgotten about all of these photos. Looking back at them made him almost feel envious, jealous of how perfect things seemed to be back then. ''Do you still have your camera?'' he asked.

''No,'' you pouted, ''I sold it to get money for a phone...'' you sighed and closed the photobook, placing it on the coffee table in front of you and repositioning yourself so your legs were on the sofa too now. You held your knees close to your chest, thinking about the time you moved away from your hometown.

''It's funny how everything could have been different if we just had the money for phones back then.''

''I did,'' Kurapika admitted, ''but you didn't and your father wasn't the kind of person who was going to lend you some money for a phone.''

''True. I only got a phone when I started getting a job in Tokyo and sold my camera. Imagine if I had money sooner and had a phone back then, nothing would have happened.''

''True.''

''It's unfair how easily this could have been avoided if we had made different choices,'' you sigh, snuggling your face into the blanket that you had wrapped around your body now, suddenly feeling cold. ''It's just unfair,'' you slowly shook your head and exhaled loudly.

''But in the end, everything will be okay, baby. I promise. Everything is going to turn out just fine,'' Kurapika said. His tone made it clear how serious he was and he noticed your sadness, pulling your body closer to his, your head laying on his lap. He adjusted the blanket so it covered your whole body, not wanting a part uncovered. He ran his fingers through your hair and whispered sweet words while you were biting on your bottom lip, trying to block all of the negative thoughts going through your mind.

It is going to be okay.

Everything is going to turn out just fine.

Is what you tried to convince yourself. It was about time that everything was going to get better, but after all the drama and all the bad luck you had been receiving, it was difficult to believe yourself. It was difficult to believe Kurapika. But you tried.

''Hey,'' Kurapika breathed out, resting his hand on top of your head after ruffling your hair softly, trying not to make it too messy. ''Don't overthink too much.''

''Hmmm,'' you whined, covering your face with your blanket, causing Kurapika to chuckle sweetly, ''it's difficult! But I'll try. It's going to be okay.''

''Exactly,'' he replied, removing the blanket from your face and kissing your lips softly. ''I love you. Only you,'' he whispered and you could feel his breath hitting your lips. You opened your eyes and locked your gaze with his. His dreamy eyes stared into yours and you swore you could see the love in them. You smiled to him, taking a deep breath, ready to say it back but get caught off guard when hearing someone knock on the door.

Rin's name was the first thing that went through your head.

''Who could it be?'' Kurapika said and your heart sunk to the floor. Anxiety hit your body and you gulped, trying to stay calm. ''I don't know,'' you said casually, but inside you were dying. Afraid of it being Rin with proof.

You took a deep breath and open the door. You met his dark blue eyes. His thick wavy black hair, half of it down and half of it up like usual. Now with two braids connected into a small ponytail. The boyish smirk was plastered on his face and he chuckled deeply.

''Oi.''


	32. You'll see

''Azami?!'' you said cheerfully, immediately wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a warm hug. You heard him chuckle and felt him hesitantly wrapping his arms around you, not feeling too comfortable showing affection. But he missed you, so, he didn't mind the hug. You let go of him and stared into his eyes, which shifted to the living room.

''PRINCESS! I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!''

You tilted your head, knitting your brows together seeing him walk into the living room so quickly, dropping his bags onto the ground. He sprinted towards his game console, laughing at your confused face, ''that's what I would have said if my girlfriend was here,'' he winked.

''You have a girlfriend?''

''Ha?! No, I don't. Oh, Hey, Kurapika!'' Azami waved to Kurapika, who was still sitting on the sofa. Kurapika studied his body and his face, seeing the obvious changes. He still looked pale and a little skinnier than before, but luckily he didn't look as bad as he did in the hospital.

''Are you all better, Azami? And since when do you have braids in your hair?'' Kurapika asked him, leaning forward, his elbows resting on his thighs and chuckled softly.

''Yeah, all good!'' he said, but started coughing right after, ''waaah! That was anticlimactic wasn't it?'' he grinned with a blush on his face and he tilted his head, ''my hair? Oh, a girl at the hospital did it. Don't remember her name though...''

''Is that the girlfriend you're talking about?'' Kurapika joked and saw Azami cringe, shaking his head quickly before taking the ponytail and the two braids out of his hair.

''Eh? I don't have a girlfriend. No, no,'' he mumbled with his hair tie in his mouth, trying to pull all of his hair together to pull it into a messy bun, ''there's already so—''

''Kurapika,'' a voice suddenly called out his name and all three of you looked at the door frame. Kurapika stood up, walking towards you and stands behind you, feeling angrier by the second.

Azami clicked his tongue, letting go of his hair, not bothering any longer to put it in a bun and just pulled the hair tie on his wrist. He quickly got distracted by his game console again, turning the tv on and sits himself down where Kurapika sat earlier.

''Rin?'' your voice was shaking, eyes widening and anxiety engulfed you, ''what are you doing here?!''

''Rin, I told you, I don't want to see you if you don't have—''

''I know, but I can't stand you being with another woman, Kurapika,'' Rin quickly made her way into your apartment, pushing you away gently so she wouldn't bump into you. She stands still in front of Kurapika, trying to take his hands but he quickly crosses his arms in front of his chest. Rin nods her head slowly, trying her best not to cry.

''I need to ascend my characters.''

''I love you so much, Kurapika,'' Rin says, now letting the tears fall down her cheeks. Her hands started to shake and she steps closer to the blonde man in front of her, who squinted his eyes, ''please come back home.''

''Oh, oops. That's a good weapon. Okayokayokay.''

''Rin, get out of my apartment.'' You said through gritted teeth and you stared at her body. She was wearing an oversized sweater, making it so you couldn't see a baby bump at all because the sweater didn't hug her figure in any way.

''I'm sorry I kept you waiting, ahaaaa! Come to me!''

''Azami, shut up,'' Rin suddenly yelled, turning around, facing the unbothered boy. He simply ignored her, trying his best to hide the sneaky grin on his face by biting his bottom lip. Rin turned her head to face Kurapika again, who's lips were slightly parted.

''Kurapika—''

''Kurapika, this game is good, isn't it? Do you want to play with me after she leaves?''

Kurapika couldn't help but quickly shift his eyes onto the tv screen, his curiosity taking the best of him. He tried his best not to laugh, loving how Azami didn't care about Rin at all.

''I have an appointment at the hospital in a few days. Please stay with me until then. I feel so lonely without you.''

''OOAAAH?!''

You watch Rin clench her jaw, growing irritated and desperate now. You shook your head, chuckling before inhaling deeply, ''Rin, just admit you're not fucking pregnant and save all of us a headache. You're going too fucking far! Manipulating someone into staying with you with faking your pregnancy! Don't you realise how sick that is?!''

''I am pregnant, Y/N. I'm not a fucking idiot. Why would—''

''Aaaah I've made this character so strong. I'm so good at this.''

''AZAMI!'' Rin yelled again, her frustration now getting too much for her to stay calm any longer, ''you're so damn noisy! Be quiet!''

''LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'' he cheered, not paying attention to the girl who so desperately tried to get him to shut up. You looked at Kurapika, who laughed, quickly covering his big smile with his hand. You also couldn't help but let out a breathy laugh, though the situation was shitty. Azami always had his ways of making things better.

''I'll kill you,'' Rin mutters under her breath, her head dropping down, holding the bridge of her nose in between her thumb and pointy finger. Azami bites his bottom lip, pausing his game before standing up from the sofa. He makes his way over to his bag, throwing it Rin's way.

''My medicine is in there. Do whatever you want with it you piece of shit. Ha? Can you leave soon? I want to game with Kurapika,'' he asks, his tone made it clear he was genuinely asking her and walks back to the sofa, plopping down onto it and continues playing the game with the boyish grin still on his face. Rin simply stares at the bag, not knowing where to go from here. She rolls her eyes and faces Kurapika again, who's stopped paying attention to her and focused on the game Azami was playing.

''Rin, leave,'' you now said with a tone clear of anger and determination. Rin tilted her head slightly, chuckling softly at your words, ''what?'' she breathed out and you heard the disbelieve in her voice. She wasn't taking you serious at all and it pissed you off.

''Just. Leave. I don't want to see you in my apartment again, Rin. Leave or talk to me,'' you clenched your jaw and stepped forward. Rin swallowed her words, shaking her head as she let out a giggle, ''Talk to you, about what?''

''You'll see.''


	33. Heavy heart

You pushed her outside of your apartment and closed the door, making sure Azami and Kurapika wouldn't be able to hear whatever you were going to say to her. ''Let's go to your house or somewhere else so we will have more privacy,'' you say to her and start walking.

''What? Are you going to beat me up or something?'' she said and started laughing, her heels clicking on the ground as she follows you. You took a deep breath, of course not. You didn't want to sink that low. You just wanted answers, you wanted to talk to her about the situation and tell her what you think of her now.

After an awkward walk to her home without saying a word to each other, the two of you finally reached the front door which Rin unlocked. You scrunched your nose as you walked into the place, noticing it had gotten extremely messy. There were empty plates and cups everywhere. She didn't bother to clean anything. You cleared your throat as you turned around, facing Rin who closed the door behind her.

''Well? What do you want to talk about?'' she questioned, quirking her brow and pursing her lips together as she places one hand sassily on her hip and waited for you to speak. You gulped, trying to find the words you wanted to say to her. This was the moment. You had to confront her and get the answers.

''Why are you doing all of this?''

''Huh?'' she tilted her head, ''what are you talking about?''

''Why Kurapika, Rin? Why did it have to be him?''

''Seriously?'' she clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes, ''are you talking about this again, Y/N? It's been nine years. I told you, you should've moved on.''

''I don't care. I don't care if it was nine years. No, it could've been twenty years for all I care, Rin. You knew how much I loved Kurapika. You knew it and you continued to date him. I always joked to you about how I was going to marry him one day—''

''And now it's me who's going to marry him,'' she finished your sentence, ''are you only angry at me, though? Kurapika is the one who proposed to me. He's just as guilty, or whatever.''

''Kurapika is suffering from his regret enough. I can see it in his eyes. You're here pretending to be pregnant to get him to stay with you. He doesn't even want to be with you anymore.''

She started to laugh, ''you're so silly. Who the hell would fake their pregnancy?! Kurapika is not the kind of man who would leave his son alone. I am pregnant. But I want my fiancé to be with me ... so, I'll do what I have to do to get him to stay with me.''

''We were right. You really are a crazy bitch,'' you chuckled to yourself, throwing your head back and inhaling deeply. Rin was going to do something crazy to get Kurapika to stay if she actually is pregnant. He was right. She was probably going to tell him he's not allowed to see his son if he isn't married to her. Or some weird shit like that.

''Huh?'' she frowned her brows.

''We knew you were going to manipulate him into staying one way or another. That's so you. I can't believe you.''

''You should have moved on. It's not my fault your feelings came back. You should have controlled yourself and not do anything. You should have thought about my feelings for once in your life.''

''No,'' you shook your head and closed your eyes, ''when you saw Kurapika those years ago, you should have told him to contact me. You should have told me I'm well and dying to get in contact again. because you knew that was the thing I wanted most. I wanted to see him again. you knew that.''

''.......''

''Instead, you fell in love with him and hid him from me. I'm guessing you two have been together for a few years right? We, Rin, never lost contact. You could have told him to text me or you could've told me his address. Because in all these years I have always told you I wish he would come back to me. You knew I was wishing for a day where our paths would cross again. you ruined everything.''

''I couldn't stop my feelings,'' Rin whispered, her voice shaking a little. It seemed like her anger had died down and got replaced with sadness and maybe even a little regret, but that was something she was never going to admit. She simply didn't want to be weak in front of you.

''You couldn't stop your feelings? Really? Then why do you keep telling me I should have moved on? Yes, maybe I should have. Maybe I should've moved on from someone I fell in love with nine years ago, but I didn't. and ... I'm sorry? Is that what you want me to say? You want me to apologise for not moving on?''

''I didn't say that.''

''Alright. I would've been able to move on if I never saw him again. if I, for the rest of my life never heard a single thing from and about him anymore, I think I could've moved on. But you, you decided to marry him. what did you expect to happen when you knew I still had feelings for him?''

''I thought you would be happy for me.''

''I would've been happy for you if it was any other man, Rin,'' you swallowed thickly, ''I wouldn't be like this if it was someone else, but you're marrying the love of my life. You know, my first love. He is my first love. No matter what, I'll always have a weakness for him. Seeing him brought all my feelings back.''

''I knew I shouldn't have let you see him again!'' she yelled, her tears now rolling down her cheeks. Your jaw slightly dropped as your eyes squinted. You gulped and bit your bottom lip. ''If you never saw him, you would've been able to move on, right? That's what you're saying!''

You didn't know what to answer. That's not particularly what you meant. You would know Rin was marrying him, and that would break your heart too because you've always wanted it to be you. you wanted to marry him. So, you would know. If you never knew he was married to another woman, it wouldn't have reached your heart, because you simply did not know about it.

''I should've never told you about this marriage,'' she whispered, covering her face with her hands as she speaks. ''I should've lost contact with you, Y/N.''

Your bottom lip started to shake and you bit it harshly, not wanting to cry in front of your sister. ''We both made mistakes. But this could've been so different if you handled everything differently,'' you clenched your jaw. You knew you made mistakes. But let's be honest, Rin didn't fall in love with him on first sight. She always told you she wasn't interested in Kurapika. She fell in love with him over time and in the time when she wasn't in love with him, she could've told him to go see you.

Everything would have been different then.

Everything.

''You have no idea how happy I felt finding someone who genuinely loves me ... after Haru,'' she whispers, wiping the tears on her face away with her hands. You met her gaze but quickly broke the eye contact.

''There's plenty of good guys in the world, Rin. Do you remember Yamato? The guy was madly in love with you, he's told me so many times. I don't know about now, but I remember him still being in love with you even after I left.''

''Ya..ma..to?'' his name left her lips softly and slowly as if she finally remember him. You couldn't deny the spark in her eye after hearing his name, but she quickly shook her head. ''I don't remember him, so, he's probably irrelevant.''

You clicked your tongue and exhaled loudly, ''Kurapika wasn't the only good guy and I do not believe he is the only one who comforted you after Haru. I know for sure Yamato was here for you and I know for sure you still remember him.''

Rin didn't say a word and you scratched the back of your head, ''Rin?''

''What.''

''I have nothing else to say to you other than that I absolutely despise you and you can't count on me ever again. Kurapika loves me and you know he does. All of this doesn't feel right, but if he wants to leave you, don't make him stay with lies. I hope you'll find it in your heart to be honest with him. tell him if you're not pregnant. Don't manipulate him, Rin. He will hate you forever.''

You rubbed your eyes and took in a deep breath before walking over to the door. You smiled at her weakly before leaving her house with a heavy heart.


	34. You can't be serious

''YAMATO!'' you yell as you open the door angrily. You had no idea why you only remembered him during your argument, well, confrontation with Rin. You hadn't thought of him in a long time but felt like there was more to the story than what Rin and Kurapika told you. Kurapika must have known how much Yamato felt for Rin, he showed it even when the both of you were still together.

''WAH!'' Azami screams, completely caught off guard by your sudden appearance. He quickly stands up, dropping his game controller on the ground before coughing loudly. He clutches his sweater as his head shoots up to look at you, brows knit together, ''if it's not Rin who's going to kill me then it's for sure going to be you!''

''Yamato?'' Kurapika says, who stands up from the chair he was sitting on, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he steps forward, ''I haven't heard that name in a long time.'' He stands still on front of you, wearing a faint smile on his face whilst kissing your forehead.

''Do you remember him? Do you have his phone number or—''

''Oi, oi!'' Azami suddenly says cheerfully, ''it's snowing outside,'' he picked up his game controller and placed it gently onto the sofa as he climbed over to look outside. ''Hm?'' he hummed as he turned around to face you and Kurapika, ''what? I haven't been outside ever since I went to the hospital, don't look at me like that.''

You smiled at him and nodded, it had snowed before, but Azami only came home earlier today. You felt someone place their hand on your shoulder, Kurapika. You turned your head to face him and met his gaze. He wore a faint smile and he narrowed his eyes slightly. ''Let's go for a walk, Y/N,'' he whispered into your ear.

''Can I come along?'' Azami asked with a faint smile, excited to come along and enjoy the snow outside. The way he asked was sweet and his tone made it clear how badly he wanted to spend time with you and Kurapika, it warmed your heart, but Kurapika flatly turned him down.

''Sorry, Azami,'' he smiled, ''I need to talk to Y/N about something important. Alone.''

''Ah— yes, of course! It's fine!'' he smiled with closed eyes, giving Kurapika a thumbs up with his right hand. You could tell he was disappointed, but there was no way he was going to show or tell Kurapika that. ''I forgot I have to do an uh... challenge anyway .. a domain and fight a boss in this game so,'' he muttered as he went back to his usual seat on the sofa and continued playing his game whilst biting on his bottom lip.

''Azami, we should go on a walk tomorrow. I'm sure it'll be snowing again and maybe we can invite Leorio, Killua and Gon? We could get breakfast somewhere too. I'm sure you must have missed going out, haven't you?''

''Ah, more than you think,'' he nodded as he runs his hand through his hair before taking the hair tie off his wrist, pulling all of his hair into a messy bun on top of his head. He stopped paying attention to the both of you and you watched Kurapika hand over your coat and scarf.

You left your apartment holding Kurapika's hand without saying a word to each other. In your free hand, you're holding an umbrella, to stop the snowflakes from getting in your hair and making it wet and messy. You focused on the snow crunching under your feet, not sure what to say to the man next to you.

''So... what did you want to talk about that Azami wasn't allowed to hear?''

''What did you say to Rin?'' he started in, clearing his throat right after the words left his lips and he nuzzled his face more into the thick scarf around his neck.

You quirked a brow as you look up at Kurapika, who didn't meet your gaze and instead looked straight forward, focusing on the road. You sighed as you faced away, nibbling on your bottom lip. ''I didn't say anything special. I just told her exactly what's up.''

''What if she doesn't show me proof anymore if she is pregnant? Then what?''

You squint your eyes and knit your brows together as you listen to Kurapika's sudden worries about the situation, ''what makes you think she wouldn't tell you any more?''

''You know what she's like, Y/N,'' Kurapika said as he looked at you with a sidelong glance. You hadn't thought about this and to started to become obvious you hadn't thought confronting Rin through. ''She's probably upset and when she goes to the doctors and gets the results, she might not even show me and keep the baby hidden from me, if it's real. Because maybe even she is done with this entire situation.''

''I sure am,'' you replied.

''That's not what matters right now,'' he whispered under his breath, loud enough for you to hear him. ''So, you went to her house and told her exactly what's on your mind?'' he indicated his grasp of the situation and you widened your eyes, almost shocked because of the fact that it was so on point.

''Yeah. I guess. I- I don't know, but I feel like there's more to the story than her just falling in love with you Kurapika... Rin and I used to be very close. Maybe Yamato knows more.''

''Yamato?'' he groaned and met my gaze, ''are you talking about him again? We haven't seen or heard about him in ages. God knows where that guy is now.''

''We should try to find a way to—''

''No, Y/N,'' Kurapika sighed, growing a little irritated by now, ''this... ugh, nevermind,'' he says and stands still in his tracks, moving his hand to his head and rubbing his eyes slowly. You move your body in front of him and narrow your eyes, ''if there is something you want to say, spit it out, Kurapika.''

He kept quiet for a few seconds before taking in a deep breath and exhaling loudly, ''angel, this isn't some kind of investigation. It's rather simple what happened and I know you don't like it, but Rin and I fell in love. I have loved you for as long as I can remember. I've always thought about you, even when being with Rin, but her lies made it difficult to fight for you any longer. I only found out they were lies when we saw each other again, which is why I don't love Rin anymore.''

''You should have asked me about it.''

''I was hurt, Y/N. I know I should have done things differently, if I knew back then what i know right now I would've never done a thing with Rin and I would've forced her to give me your address and all that. But I can't go back. I want to be with you, I always have.''

''I just don't understand.''

''I thought you were cheating on me, Y/N. I thought you were with people all the time because that was what Rin told me. It hurt me more than you could ever imagine, at that time, it felt like a waste of time trying to find out where you were if all you did was mess with people. I thought I wasn't important to you.''

''Did you ask for me when you were with her?''

''Of course, I did! But when I asked her and she told me the lie I was confused. I didn't understand why you were doing all of it. She kept telling me not to bother because you were having fun with another person ... in bed,'' he breathed out and bit his bottom lip. Kurapika was hurt at the time, believing someone who only lied for her own benefit. He didn't know that at the time, but he knows now and wants to do what's best for you and his baby, if Rin turns out to be pregnant.

''All of this is so strange and messed up, fuck!'' you yell and quickly cover your mouth with your hand for a second before continuing what you were going to say to him, ''why the hell did she not tell you to come to see me? I do not believe she has been in love with you all this time. She knew in all these years that I wanted to see you and she was seeing you. She knew where you were, she was in contact with you but she NEVER told you anything about me. Isn't that strange to you?''

Kurapika scratched the back of his head as he avoids your gaze and you click your tongue in annoyance, ''it's just weird. Why you, no offence, out of everyone? Yamato has been fighting for her for as long as I remember. Why would she go for you?''

''I don't know. But it's not going to be some kind of grand reveal once you find out. It's not some kind of plot twist in a book. He probably just gave up on her because he never got his feelings answered. All I know is that Rin told me lies about you and—''

''HA! Exactly! What did she do that for, huh?''

''Because she loved me and wanted me to shut up about you. She wanted my feelings for you to fade away so they could get replaced by feelings for her. It's not that difficult to understand. It's not as deep as you think it is.''

''Why would she keep quiet about you? that's the thing I can't get my head around. It's weird and unnecessary if she didn't have feelings for you.''

''But she did. She always had and that's what she told me,'' Kurapika finally said and clenched his jaw as he stared into your eyes. Your jaw slightly dropped and you frowned your brows before balling your fists, the feeling of anger suddenly crashing in your body again.

''You can't be serious.''


	35. Do this

''Yeah. She's loved me even when we were dating,'' Kurapika sighs and we start walking again, ''she told me when we were drunk ... that's the only thing she admitted. Though, It could just be another lie.''

''But...'' you whisper, letting your limbs fall weakly as your eyes shift to the ground, ''she always told me she wasn't interested in you— she even said you were a weirdo! I don't get it ... I don't understand any of this.'' You swallow thickly as you bite your bottom lip. You didn't understand why it was affecting you so much, but it made you feel angry and even a little jealous maybe.

She went for him the second she got the chance.

''I'm sorry,'' Kurapika suddenly said and you felt two warm hands on your cheeks, lifting your head to face him. he smiled weakly, sadness obvious in his eyes as he plants a soft kiss on top of your head, pulling you close to his body. You felt his arms wrap around your fragile body and you hugged him back, nuzzling your face into his chest.

''I'm so sorry. I am so sorry,'' he repeated his words around a hundred times, his voice and breath trembling as he tightens his grip around you. ''I'm such an idiot,'' he let out a breathy laugh, inhaling deeply before pushing you away from him a little while still holding onto your arms, ''I should have never listened to Rin.''

''Kurapika...'' you spoke quietly, tears welling up into your eyes when seeing his glossy eyes, ''you didn't know... you didn't know any of this. You thought I was a bad person because that's what Rin wanted you to think of me. She knew that she wouldn't have a chance if you thought better of me.''

''Shit,'' he shot his head up, looking up into the sky as little snowflakes fell down onto his smooth skin, ''you're not even the kind of person who would do those things. Why did I even believe her?''

You didn't know what to say to that. ''I just want to have a happy end with you, Y/N. I'm sorry for making everything so difficult,'' he sighs, resting his forehead against yours and letting a few bottled up tears fall down his cheeks. He's been trying his best not to cry and show his weakness. He didn't want to come off as a whiner, but at this point, it didn't matter anymore.

''It's not your fault ... mainly. Kurapika, we all make mistakes. I'm not going to hold a grudge against you forever... you realise the mistakes you've made and apologised; that's enough for me. I have made mistakes too, in this whole situation I've made plenty of mistakes and it's okay.''

You both kept silent for a few minutes, a kind of silence that was so painfully loud. Your heart ached because of Kurapika's silent sobs and tears falling onto his cheeks. You wanted that happy end too, you wanted it so badly.

''Just promise me one thing, Kurapika.''

''I'll promise you anything, no matter what it is.''

''Really? That's pretty risky, Kurta,'' you giggled, caressing his cheek lovingly with the palm of your hand. You stared into his eyes and thought of the right words to say to him. He waited patiently before wiping the tears away and you cleared your throat, ''promise me you'll stay with me even if Rin turns out to be pregnant.''

''But she's not.''

''Just... just promise me. Please?''

He closed his eyes and nodded as he did so, taking in a deep, ragged breath before exhaling loudly. ''I promise, Y/N. I'm staying with you. No matter what,'' he whispered, pulling your body close to his again. His warmth engulfed you, the winter breeze and snow not affecting you anymore.

The sun broke through the gloomy clouds and you stared up into the sky, squinting your eyes because of the bright sunlight. Maybe it was a sign. A sign of better, happier and brighter days coming your way, at least that's what you were hoping.

''We should go home... I'm getting cold and the sun is setting already,'' you whispered before nibbling on your bottom lip.

''Alright. Should we pick up some take out?'' Kurapika suggested, ''Mcdonald's?''

°•. ✿ .•°

You unlocked the door to your apartment and Kurapika followed behind. All of the lights were off, including the tv. You narrowed your eyes a little and the scene of Azami scaring you a little while ago played in front of your eyes. ''Pika,'' you hissed, ''be aware. Azami will scare us.''

''I doubt it,'' Kurapika whispers back as he walks past you into the room. He places the bag full of food from Mcdonalds down on your dining table and clicks on a little light. You tilt your head as you step inside of your home and cross your arms in front of your chest. You look at Kurapika who points at the person laying on the sofa.

Azami.

He was curled up into a ball with about two blankets covering most of his body. His hair was covering most of his face while his game controlled laid beside him. You stepped forward, making your way to the sleeping boy. His lips were slightly parted and you smiled and so did Kurapika.

You and Kurapika both knew Azami had trouble sleeping. He either slept a lot or he didn't sleep at all, it always fluctuated between sleeping or not sleeping. He complained about it a lot because he either missed days or was too tired to do anything and you knew it bothered him.

You turned your head to face Kurapika and just when you were about to turn around and walk over to the blonde boy, you felt a hand grabbing your arm. ''WAH!'' Azami yelled as he sat up. You yanked your arm out of his grip, ''FUCK!''

''AZAMI!'' Kurapika yelled, also caught off guard by him, but he laughed right after. ''You are insane,'' he laughs, covering his head in his hands as he shakes his head in embarrassment. Azami laughed loudly, hiding his face under his blankets.

You balled your fists and whined, ''I knew you were going to do this!''


	36. Don't kill him

Your eyes shot open when you heard someone continuously knocking on your bedroom door. You frowned and slammed your hand down next to you, hitting Kurapika's chest harshly in the process. ''Ow! What did you do that for?'' Kurapika hisses, slapping your hand away from his chest. You apologised to him before turning on a light in your bedroom.

''Who is that?'' Kurapika asked, looking at you with frowned brows before glancing back at the door. ''Is it Rin?''

''If it is, I'll murder her and call the police for breaking in.''

''But she'll—''

''Oi, oi, are you two naked?'' a voice behind the door said and you knew who it belonged to right away, Azami. You were holding your body up with your elbows and the second you heard his voice you let yourself fall down onto your back, exhaling loudly.

''No, we're not. What is it?'' you shouted, rubbing your sleepy eyes gently with your fingertips. Your eyes shifted to Kurapika, who bit his bottom lip, trying his best not to laugh. ''What's so funny?'' you groan and Kurapika finally cracks a big smile, ''he's just so strange. I've missed him.''

The door opened slowly, revealing Azami with messy bed hair pulled up into his usual hairstyle. He only peeked his head into the room as if he was afraid the two of you were naked and lied to him. No, both of you were some kind of pyjamas.

''Sorry,'' he snorted, ''I didn't want to walk into some kind of porn—''

''God, you need to shut up. It's too early for this,'' you throw your pillow at him which he quickly caught in both hands, causing a big grin to appear on his face. ''Look at that! you're no match for me. Not in games and not in real life!'' he says haughtily, throwing the pillow back, hitting your face softly.

Kurapika let out a loud laugh, startling Azami and causing you to glare at him as if he was a crazy person. ''Azami, thank you so much,'' he said as he got out of bed and walked towards Azami, who's expression quickly changed from a cheeky smile to a confused expression. Kurapika placed a hand on Azami's shoulder and gave the boy a sweet smile, ''I'm sorry for last night. I hope we can spend more time together today.''

''I-It's okay,'' Azami stuttered, not used to getting thanked and apologised to. Kurapika chuckled and walked past him, leaving the bedroom. You tried your best to suppress a laugh and Azami glared at you.

''What's up with him? Is he okay?'' Azami whispers loud enough for you to hear, holding one hand next to his mouth. Creating some kind of shield that would block his words from reaching Kurapika's ears.

''He's fine. He just feels bad for turning you down last night.''

''I told him it's okay...'' Azami muttered, scratching the back of his head, ''he shouldn't feel bad. I've always spent my time alone playing games— it's not strange that he was weirded out by me wanting to come along.''

''Kurapika had to talk to me about something that's going on between us, it had nothing to do with you. Don't worry.''

Azami hummed and you got out of bed too, wanting to get ready for the day. When you're in the shower, Kurapika waited on the sofa. ''Hey,'' Azami says and plops down next to Kurapika, ''wanna play with me? I was just playing with—''

''Yes.''

Azami wore a vague smile as he unpaused his game, passing the game controlled to Kurapika who held it tightly. His expression changed to a focused one and Azami laughed at the man next to him. ''No... you have to do—''

''I died.''

''I can see that.''

Azami frowned his brows as his lips curled up into a sly smile, unimpressed by Kurapika's gaming skills. Oh, how bad he wanted to snatch the controller out of his hand and show him the way you have to do it. Kurapika aggressively pressed on all the buttons of the controller, pretending like he knew exactly what all of them meant.

''You died again. You know, you have to dodge.''

''But he has a shield,'' Kurapika glared at Azami who quirked his brows, ''that thing is not supposed to be able to do me any damage.''

''His shield broke and you shouldn't rely on it anyway,'' Azami tilted his head before shaking it and taking the controller out of Kurapika's hands. ''Here,'' he says before giving it back to Kurapika along with his headphones, ''say something.''

''I'm Kurapika.''

Azami watched Kurapika as he bit his bottom lip, trying his best not to burst into laughter. He watched Kurapika's eyes widen and quickly take off the headphones, ''THEY'RE YELLING AT ME!'' he frowns before smiling eventually.

Azami was playing with Gon and Killua as they exchanged their usernames et cetera on the first day of Christmas. Since Kurapika isn't good at the game and they were doing a difficult domain, Kurapika died and left a bunch of work for the two young boys.

''You're so rude,'' Kurapika laughs.

''Ah— no, they're good. Don't worry.''

Kurapika's eyes widen when the thick words appear on the screen; challenge completed. ''They won?'' he said surprised, ''they did it without me?'' Azami cracked a smile as he cheered while throwing his arms up into the air, proud of the two boys.

You wrap your damp hair up into a towel, slipping into your clothes before brushing your teeth. You sigh and pout your lips, staring at yourself in the mirror before rubbing your temple with your finger. You quirk your brows when you hear screaming coming from the living room. You make your way out of your bathroom, following the loud noises.

''What's going on—''

''DON'T DIE ON ME!'' Azami yells with a hint of excitement in his voice, standing up because of the adrenaline shooting through his body.

''I won't, but if I do, it's because Killua broke my shield,'' Kurapika mouthed a lame excuse and Azami yelled at his phone, seeing Kurapika's character dissolve into the air because he died. ''Kurapika...'' he whispered with a dangerous tone, hiding his face with his free hand.

''A-Azami,'' Kurapika chuckled with his eyes closed, moving his arms in front of his body to protect himself from the black-haired boy. You watched them with your arms crossed in front of your body, shaking your head from side to side as you sighed.

Kurapika shot a glance at you when he realised you were standing there, observing them. ''Y/N!'' glad he could change the topic and stood up, placing the game controller next to him and planting a soft kiss on top of your head as he wrapped his arms around you. He placed his hand on your lower back, ''He's going to kill me,'' he whispered into your ear and you couldn't help but burst into laughter.

''Azami, please don't kill him!''


	37. I have proof

It has been a few days since Rin came to your apartment, uninvited as usual, but that wasn't what mattered. It was the fact that she hasn't said a word to you or Kurapika even though she said she had a doctors appointment the next day, to get an ultrasound and show Kurapika the proof of her pregnancy. But she hadn't left a message to anyone, it was like she had completely disappeared.

''Well, I guess we can conclude that her pregnancy was fake after all,'' Kurapika sighed as he handed you over a cup of hot tea, steam coming from the cup and you took a deep breath. ''Mhm, I suppose,'' you hummed. The anxious feeling hadn't left your body and for some reason, all of it felt off.

Kurapika's words flew through your mind, ''What if she doesn't show me proof anymore if she is pregnant? Then what?'' you scratched the top of your head and took a sip of the tea, burning your lip and you hissed.

What if it was true? What if she's pregnant, but doesn't tell Kurapika and you. But that wouldn't be like her, right? She'd want to rub it in. She'd want you to be jealous and she'd want you to break down in front of her.

It fed her ego.

She wanted to feel like she was better. She wanted to feel like in every way, she was better than you. And she wanted to have things you desperately wanted, but couldn't have. So, it wasn't like her to hide this. Thus, it was likely she was faking all of it.

''She's not pregnant,'' you whisper as you stare off into the distance. You desperately wanted to believe yourself and try to cast away the anxious feeling that was eating you alive, but you couldn't. You had been restless, uneasy and nervous for the past few days. You wanted confirmation. You wanted reassurance to silence your emotions.

''Hmm, what's bothering you?'' Azami hums as he leans his head on the palm of his hands, his hand covering half of his mouth. Kurapika nodded, rubbing your back lovingly as he kisses the top of your head. Azami's eyes soften as he stares into yours, noticing the anxious vibe you give off.

''Is it because of Rin?'' Kurapika asks and you nod. ''I don't want to talk about it. It's like all we can talk about is Rin... I'm sick of hearing her name,'' you admit and place two hands on the side of your head, squishing your face slightly.

''But you shouldn't carry your problems on your own,'' Azami gives you a sly smile and narrows his eyes a little. You pout, holding your hands together and leaning on them. You looked over at Kurapika, who cleared his throat, ''I agree. Be honest to us, Y/N.''

''Remember what you told me a few days ago, Pika?'' you started, ''you told me Rin might not show you any proof anymore and just keep the baby hidden from you... what if that's what she's doing right now? What if she already has proof, but simply doesn't want to show it anymore?''

Kurapika and Azami both kept quiet, thinking of what to reply because they knew you could be right. It was something Rin would most likely do. ''This might be a stupid idea, but you could visit her in like a year or something,'' Azami suddenly suggested, ''she must've given birth to the baby by then and then you could confront her... or whatever you want to do, no?''

You and Kurapika both stared at Azami, who is still looked into your eyes. ''Yeah... maybe...'' you say slowly, causing Azami to raise his brows at you. ''It just makes me feel anxious, you know,'' you sigh as you hide your head in your hands.

''Angel, it's going to be okay,'' Kurapika says, gingerly touching your cheeks as he plants a soft kiss on top of your head, ''I'm going to be here. I will stay by your side forever.''

''Me too,'' Azami mumbles, ''I'm here if anything happens and if there's something I can do to help then tell me. I-If I'm not busy gaming... of course. Aha, I'm joking,'' he says awkwardly. He could be the worst at letting you know he was there for you, but you knew he was just one call away.

It made you feel a little better, getting reassurance and comfort from the two people you cared about most. It made you feel safe you could rely on them a little and know they will be here for you. The thing that helped you the most had to be Kurapika letting you know he will stay by your side forever.

It still didn't sit right with you. The things Kurapika told you. You understood that because of Rin's manipulation, Kurapika probably didn't know what was real and what was not. He probably also had a difficult time telling you everything, because Rin would always stop him. He slowly started to realise his relationship with her was based on lies and manipulation. Rin had damaged parts of the man you love and it started to hurt you.

But you still didn't know all the things Rin has done and you weren't sure if Kurapika was telling you the actual truth— or the truth Rin wanted him to believe. You wanted to trust him so badly, but a part of you couldn't, which made everything about the situation even worse.

You sighed as you took Kurapika's hand in yours, squeezing it softly before looking up and kissing him softly on the lips. ''I love you,'' you mutter into his ear and you heard a soft chuckle leave his lips. ''I love you more,'' he sighs, wrapping his arms around your body, embracing you.

He looked into your eyes as he let go of you, his hands gently on your cheeks as if he was afraid you would crumble if he pressed too hard. He smiled weakly before letting go of you and walking to the kitchen, preparing some food for the three of you.

''It's going to be ok—'' Azami started but his sentence got cut off by someone knocking on your door. You looked from Azami to Kurapika, who both raised their brows and stared at you in shock. You had a bad feeling about this and you knew this couldn't be any good. It just couldn't be, it was like a gut feeling.

''It... It can't be Rin, right?'' your voice trembles as you watch Kurapika walk to the door, taking in a deep breath before opening it. Your heart dropped to the floor and shattered into pieces when you saw your sister standing in the door frame, wearing a malicious grin on her face.

She cleared her throat as she sassily put her hand on her hip and held out something you couldn't see as tears started to blur your vision. She chuckled softly before caressing Kurapika's cheek, ''honey, I have proof.''


	38. The love of your life

''Honey, I have proof.''

You didn't know what to say and how to react. All sorts of feelings and thoughts came crashing into your mind, leaving you speechless as tears started to burn into your eyes. It felt like your world collapsed in front of you. Insecurity voiding your mind as you stared at the girl with the biggest grin on her face.

You couldn't believe it. You didn't want to.

Although Kurapika promised you he'd stay with you, you weren't sure about it. You didn't know what to think and didn't know what to trust. You felt your tears falling onto your cheeks and a tight grip formed around your arm soon after. You faced Azami, who looked at you with worry and gloomy eyes.

''W-Why...'' you mumbled. Why did this happen? You knew it would one day. For some reason, you knew Rin would come back with some sort of proof and you found yourself trying to make yourself believe a truth that didn't exist. In the past few days, you had tried to make yourself believe Rin's pregnancy was fake. You wanted to believe it so badly to get the happy ending you were longing for and you saw it break apart right in front of you.

''Kurapika is going to stay with you, Y/N,'' Azami whispered, wiping away the tears that had fallen onto your cheeks with his thumb, ''he promised you. Please...'' the grip on your arm softened before he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to his body ever so gently, almost as if he was afraid of breaking you.

You felt embarrassed, hurt and afraid. Embarrassed of crying, hurt because of the pregnancy being real and afraid because of the thought of Kurapika leaving you.

For some reason, you couldn't hate your sister. Maybe it was because the two of you are family or maybe its because the two of you used to actually like each other. She was pregnant and the father is the love of your life. You couldn't think straight, too many thoughts going through your mind.

It was unfair... all of it. You knew you had made mistakes and you knew you didn't do things right in the situation. In the heat of the moment you did things you regretted, you acted on your emotions.

When you saw Kurapika back then you didn't know what to feel or think. You didn't want to mess up everything and you weren't planning on breaking them apart. You had tried to keep your distance from him back then, but when he kissed you... all of your feelings came back. Even though it had been nine years, just one kiss was powerful enough to make all those feelings you felt all those years ago come back. You didn't want to let him go. You had never been ready to let him go.

The fact that everything could've been avoided easily too. If you had done a little more to get in contact with him again then maybe it would be you carrying his baby. but the damage had been done. Things had been said and you couldn't go back in time to fix it.

Everyone was making mistakes and everything had gotten messy. Why did it have to be Kurapika? Out of all the people in the world, why did it have to be him? Why couldn't she respect your feelings and go for someone else?

Assuming from Kurapika's words, it didn't take her a long time to try to get with him. It might've been about a year. She went for him the second she got the chance to, even when she knew how heartbroken you were. She didn't care. She didn't care about your feelings and went for the man you have always loved with all of your heart.

And she wouldn't give up. No matter what. She wasn't going to give up on Kurapika. You glanced at him, sobbing as you held onto Azami's arm. He just stood there, saying nothing as he locked eyes with Rin. She giggled softly, waving the little photo-like card in front of his face.

''No.''

''No?'' she frowned her brows, not understanding what he meant.

''Don't. It's fake. Don't you realise how pathetic you are, Rin?'' he suddenly said, ''this could easily be someone else's ultrasound. You probably went to buy one off the black market! Or... or you slept with someone else and it's not my kid!''

''What?'' she scoffed, ''why the hell would I lie about this, Kurapika? Don't you see how much I love you? This is the only way I can get you back! This is your kid. You have to believe me and if you don't, why don't you just come to the hospital with me?''

Kurapika raised his brows, ''alright.''

''Alright?'' she simply repeated his words, ''fine, okay, sure. I've read online you can even do a DNA test while you're pregnant, we could ask for one of those too if you still don't believe the baby is yours.''

She is pregnant.

She would never go as far as this... making him come to the hospital and all, only to find out it's fake or the baby isn't his, you thought. That would even cross the line for Rin, right? That would even be too far for her... right?

''N-No...'' you sob, wiggling out of Azami's grip around your body, ''w-why are you doing this?! Are you actually pregnant, you bitch?!''

''What?'' she said through gritted teeth, ''I've fucking told all of you already, but you decided to stay ignorant and hope for a better outcome for yourself, Y/N! Damn! Grow the hell up!''

''Why him?'' you whispered, covering your eyes with your hands, ''why... why him? I don't get it... why didn't you go for someone else. Kurapika's always been the love of my life, I knew it from the second I saw him. I know, it sounds sappy, but it's true. I've never felt the same way about anyone else. You've always known this!''

''I don't—''

''Please... Please give me an explanation for all of this. You are my sister... You used to keep my feelings in mind all the time. You used to tell me you loved Kurapika and me together... why did you start dating him? It's like you wanted something that was mine and mine only.''

Rin stayed silent, guilt suddenly filling her body and her heart tightened. ''I...'' her breath hitched, ''I've always had feelings for him, Y/N.'' Her voice was calm as she took a step closer to you, ''I never wanted to tell you because of how happy he made you feel. When you left home, I felt lonely. We used to be so close and then you just left me like it meant nothing to you. Kurapika made me feel like I wasn't alone anymore.''

''He could've been a friend!'' you sobbed, ''you knew he helped me go through a lot! You knew how much he meant to me and you knew in how much pain I was when I lost him! And you always knew how much he loved me... which is why you told him lies about me, right? You knew he was going to come back to me and you were selfish!''

''That's true. I knew I was going to lose him if he found out you were missing him too,'' she admitted, ''but I love him, Y/N. I truly do.''

''What if I went for the only person who felt like you mattered? Dad has always hated me, mom never showed any kind of care about me and you always made me feel like a burden. Kurapika has always meant the world to me and you took him away from me.''

''Because I love him more than you do.''

The tears wouldn't stop coming and you shook your head slowly, hiding your face with your hands. ''I don't think it's fair for you to claim Kurapika just like that,'' Azami cleared his throat.

''This is none of your—''

''I-I've always had feelings for Y/N,'' he admitted, ''but I've never acted on my emotions. I've kept my feelings hidden from her for a very long time. She only found out when I was in the hospital because I wanted her to know, no particular reason though. Anyhow, I never made a move. Because it wouldn't be fair for Kurapika. I've never seen anyone so in love with someone before and when the two broke up, I still didn't try to date Y/N. I feel like it's an unwritten law. You don't date your best friends', let alone sisters', ex. Especially not if you knew about their feelings for each other. And definitely not if you know how much they miss each other.''

Rin stayed silent. She didn't know what to say and she stared at the ground, the feeling of guilt and sadness was about to consume her. ''You knew how broken Y/N was and you knew how they always joked about marriage. Don't you see how messed it up it is, Rin? Your sister always wanted to marry him, the love of her life."

Azami took a deep breath, "You are marrying the love of her life, Rin."

''I am,'' she said, her voice trembling as tears also started to prickle her eyes, ''I love him and I am going to marry him. I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm not going to give up. Kurapika, let's go to the hospital now... I want you to get the proof you want. The proof you need.''

Rin gulped as she watched Kurapika avoid eye contact. He didn't say a word until he cleared his throat, muttering a quiet 'okay' before leaving your apartment. Rin shot you one last glance before leaving your apartment with the love of your life.


	39. Thoughts

The sun had slowly set and you laid on your side on the couch, a thick blanket wrapped around your body as you stared outside. The only reason you could see anything was because of the moon and street lamps lighting up the road.

It was raining. The waterdrops were hitting the window and the sound of it soothed the anxious feeling a little. You were afraid of what was going to happen and you tried your best to ease your mind, but with no success. You couldn't stop thinking about the situation, obviously. It was normal.

You checked your phone every now and then, hoping you'd see a text or a missed call from Kurapika, but he had been silent the whole day. You were afraid of losing him again. You quickly fluttered your lashes, blinking away the tears that started to prickle your eyes. You didn't want to keep crying, it gave you a horrible headache and didn't help anyone or anything.

You sighed as you checked your phone again, disappointed to see no notifications other than some from social media. The bad feeling lingering inside of your body wouldn't go away and it was frustrating, feeling bad without being able to do anything about it.

''Hey,'' Azami spoke as he entered the living room. His hair and coat were soaked, water droplets dribbling from his hair and down his face. He held a paper bag on his arm and held two big paper cups. ''I got you some food,'' he tried, plopping down next to you after taking off his coat and placing the bag and the two cups on the coffee table.

''I'm not hungry.''

''You're not?''

''No, but thank you though.''

Azami hummed, raising the bottom of his sweater a little to dry his face and ruffle his hair, getting most of the wetness out of it. ''You need to eat though, Y/N,'' he tried, ''I know eating can be difficult when you don't feel good, but you need to get some food in your stomach.''

''It's okay, Azami,'' you groaned, avoiding eye contact with the boy next to you, pulling the blanket over your nose. Azami nodded, opening the bag and getting his own meal out of it, ''alright... I suppose you can eat later. Do you wanna play a game with me? Maybe it can distract you from the things you're feeling and thinking.''

You contemplated for a second, the offer was kind and he was right, it could take your mind off things for a bit. ''It's okay if you don't want to. I can understand you're afraid of losing,'' he teased, raising one eyebrow as he wore a boyish grin.

You sat up straight, pulling up your blanket that had fallen a little as you repositioned yourself. You played with the soft fabric until you suddenly blurted out an apology.

''Huh?'' Azami quirked his brows whilst narrowing his eyes at you, confused why you would suddenly apologise to him. ''I'm sorry for talking about Kurapika all the time, especially when you were at the hospital back then,'' you said.

You wanted to repeat the sentence, but quickly got stopped by a lot of 'no's' and Azami waving his hands in front of you. ''I heard what you said, but I don't understand why you're apologising. I was happy to help you back then and I was glad you didn't talk about me. I was tired of answering everyone's questions about my health and tired of talking about it nonstop. So, I was glad to be able to help you with your problem. Although, I don't think I was a very big help.''

''You were,'' you said and he smiled.

''But damn!'' he suddenly spoke, ''when Rin came I was about to kill Yuki and her! Why did he even ask her to come to visit me? Doesn't everyone know Rin doesn't like me?''

You couldn't help but crack a smile. It has always been obvious how Rin doesn't like Azami and everyone knew she didn't. You took the paper cup and the bag of food off the coffee table, deciding to eat something as you started to get a little hungry.

''Everything is going to be alright.''

''Mhm,'' you hummed, taking a bite of the burger Azami had bought you, ''I hope so. I want to trust Kurapika, but I don't trust Rin.''

''Are you afraid of her manipulating him again?''

''Yep,'' you nod before sighing loudly, ''she has done it before, it won't surprise me if she'll do it again. If she turns out pregnant and if Pika turns out to be the father, she'll probably manipulate him into staying with her.''

''Didn't she say the pregnancy was the only way to make him stay?'' Azami asked, tilting his head slightly to the side as he kept looking at the bag next to you. Your eyes widened as you swallow thickly, gazing at Azami whilst his eyes were still fixated on the brown bag.

''Take my fries, I know you want them,'' you roll your eyes playfully and Azami's lips curl up into a big smile as he quickly snatches the bag away from you, taking the fries out of it and starts eating. ''You don't think she got herself pregnant so Kurapika would stay with her, right?'' you ask Azami, the words leaving your lips slowly.

''Eh— I don't think so,'' he coughed, ''she must have done it before the two of you saw each other again, right? Or maybe they did it when you saw Kurapika, but weren't you know, messing around with each other yet. Either way, it wouldn't surprise me.''

''Me neither,'' you mumble, finishing the burger and decided to watch Azami play games for the rest of the night. Once the clock struck midnight, you decided to go to bed, wanting this day to be over already.

Kurapika still hadn't said a word to you. You sighed as you laid in bed, putting your phone away and looking up at the ceiling. ''A simple; everything is going to be okay, would've been nice,'' you whisper to yourself as you close your eyes, not reading the incoming text from Leorio.

''I'm sorry.'' he wrote.

Kurapika will stay with me, you kept repeating to yourself as you rolled over onto your side. You pulled your blanket over your body, repeating the same words over and over again and you faded into sleep thinking such thoughts.


	40. The promise

Exactly one week had passed and you hadn't received any kind of answer from Kurapika. You had read Leorio's text over and over again, messaged him as well, but didn't get an answer back. it felt like you were fighting for nothing at this point. Like, talking to a wall. Longing for something that didn't exist.

It felt like that.

You kept hoping for a response from Kurapika, checked your phone almost every second, but didn't get an answer. You went by Rin's house a few times, but she never opened the door. You also couldn't see any sign of Kurapika there.

It was like he had disappeared from earth.

You kept trying to make yourself believe excuses. Like, Rin telling Kurapika not to text you, maybe even stealing his phone was the most believable one to you. It would not surprise you if she did that. She's done many manipulative things now, so, nothing would surprise you at this point. But it was breaking your heart and it was making your anxiety go crazy.

Yes, it would be weird to other people. How could you still be in love with someone after nine years and let yourself go through all this drama? You couldn't help it whether you liked it or not. Love is something crazy. It is special and also very painful. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you will not lose feelings for someone.

No matter how long you haven't seen that person and no matter how much drama you got through. You, out of everyone, didn't want anything other than a peaceful life right now. Peaceful days without your feelings going crazy. Actually, there was only wanted one thing more than that.

Kurapika.

Kurapika was damaged. Manipulated by a person for so many years damages a person's mindset. It will make someone not understand what was real and what wasn't. It drives someone crazy. It makes them feel controlled and they don't know how to break free.

Kurapika loves you more than you could ever imagine.

Although, maybe it doesn't look like it sometimes. The love for you he has in his heart is something out of this world. But he's trapped in a life full of lies. A life full of fear of being lied to again. for at least seven year's he's been lied to because a girl couldn't let go of him. She couldn't let him be with the person he actually wanted.

And Rin knew that, but she still continued doing the things she did.

She continued to lie and she didn't care about the consequences.

She knew how and when to say things. She knew exactly how to make him do and believe things. Just like now, she knew how to make him ignore you. She knew what to say to get him to stay quiet. She knew exactly how to make him stay with her and he had no chance to escape her manipulation. No matter what he tried, she would always find a way to make him stay.

It was like hell.

There was a point he truly loved Rin and you can't blame him. Rin made herself look like the perfect angel and made you look like a devil. So, they made love. They made love when they were in love. Because they were in love.

But when he found out about the lies, he regretted it. He didn't believe it, he couldn't. He simply wanted to avoid the truth again, making him— forcing himself to believe lies again. Running away from the problem for as long as he could until he had to get confronted with the truth. Something that always happens in life.

''Y/N?'' Azami said, closing the door behind him as he slowly walked over to the sofa, joining you. ''I have to tell you something... and you're not going to like it,'' he whispered and his voice still managed to crack. He gulped, biting his bottom lip harshly.

''You're scaring me, what is wrong?''

''I saw Kurapika,'' he said and his eyes downcast as he played with his fingers. Your heart skipped a beat and your lips curled up into a small as you chuckled awkwardly. ''You did?'' you squeaked, ''you saw him? Where? Did you talk to him? Is he coming back? Did you tell him to reply to me?''

''Y/N... I'm so sorry,'' he managed to breathe out, his heart breaking in his chest. ''W-What?'' you stammered, your eyes widening and you continued to chuckle awkwardly. You couldn't take a grasp of the situation yet, but something inside you broke.

''A-Azami... what did you see?''

''Kurapika... he was with Rin.''

''He was?'' you whispered, ''w-well, that's not bad, is it? He was packing his stuff, right? To leave her, right?''

''Y/N... I don't think he's coming back...''

''What are you talking about?'' your heart started to beat against your chest and you bit your lip as you felt warm tears roll down your cheeks. The sad emotions mixed with anger as you felt your body getting pumped with adrenaline.

''I saw them leave the store and... I could actually see Rin's baby bump this time, a-also they left this one store. I know they sell stuff for babies there, I mean, it was pretty obvious.''

''S-Still.. he could just be with her as a friend, right? O-or he just wanted to give her some company before coming back to me as he promised.''

''They were holding hands, Y/N. You need to accept the truth... I don't think he's coming back and I'm so sorry. I am so sorry.''

''No...'' you whined more tears were streaming down your face and you couldn't control your sobs. The person you had loved for so long was now gone. He was not going to be yours again and it hurt. The fact that no matter what you did from here, he would never belong to you anymore.

Someone who brought you so much joy, comfort and always made you feel so safe, belonged to someone else. The person you've always wanted to marry, belonged to someone else. Something that could've been avoided if the two of you had done things differently. You lost him— and there was no way you were going to get him back.

The drama, the arguments, the hatred for your sister— it had all been for nothing. In the end, Kurapika's mind and heart weren't strong enough.

Rin won.

''Azami...'' you sobbed and felt his arms wrap around you, he held you close. You sobbed uncontrollably into his chest as you felt his hand pat your head. You clutched onto his sweater before looking up at him and kissing his lips.

He mumbled something into the kiss and you ran your hands through his hair, gently pulling on it until you felt him push you away gently. You locked eyes with him before moving your body onto his lap and you started nipping at his neck.

"Y-Y/N,'' he stuttered, ''please, don't. You love Kurapika, not me. Please talk to him.''

You didn't have an answer for him, so, you kept quiet. ''It's okay... please, just talk to him now. I'm sure he's home. You have to talk to him. I understand you're upset, but you have to hear his side of the story. There must be more to it than this... I'm so sorry.''

''As much as I'd love to continue,'' he added, ''I can't.''

You knew he was right. You didn't love Azami like that and kissing him was wrong. You had to talk to Kurapika and talk to him about why he left you. About why he broke the promise.


	41. Marry me

He watched his life crumble apart in front of him. It wasn't like he was upset about getting a child, no, it was something that made him so happy. It was the fact that it was with Rin. He didn't love her. He was afraid of her.

Everything he had been afraid of happened. Even the threatening and even if Rin was joking, he believed it. he didn't know what was real and what wasn't anymore. He wasn't in a good state of mine, which Rin knew, and she immediately took advantage of it.

He had been trying to make himself believe a truth that turned out to be fake in the end. The desperation of Rin faking her pregnancy— he had almost been obsessed with it. He wanted to be right so desperately. He wanted to be right about her faking all of it.

When they had done all the tests and even his best friend Leorio told him that there was no way the child was someone else's, Kurapika didn't know what to do. Rin, knowing how easily she could manipulate him, immediately went for it. Telling him she wouldn't want the father of his kid to be a runaway.

What would our son think of you when you leave me for my sister?

He will hate you.

I won't let you see him.

Kurapika... I love you and your son will love you too... if you're in his life.

Are you really going to leave your son for her? Who's more important?

She drilled all sorts of nonsense into his mind. Trying her best to let him change his mind. His weak mind. His damaged mind. She forced him to change it, guilt tripping him into staying with her. Continuously repeating damaging words to him, making him change his mind.

And he did.

He didn't have a choice.

He had been fighting a fight he was destined to lose.

°•. ✿ .•°

You knocked on Rin's door, well, it looked more like you were tried to break it. The door finally opened and you locked eyes with Rin. You clenched your jaw, punching her was something you wanted to do so badly right now.

''Come in,'' she chirped with a smile as she turned around, letting you walk into her apartment. It was like nothing ever happened. Her messy house was now completely cleaned up, with no trash anywhere.

''Y/N,'' you heard his voice and you quickly faced him. tears already started to burn into your eyes and your bottom lip started to shake. ''What are you doing here?'' he asked, calmly.

''I'll just give the both of you some privacy!'' Rin said before kissing Kurapika's cheek and walking out of the house. Seeing that made your blood boil and tears started to stream down your face. You were so angry, furious even. And so sad. You were heartbroken.

''I can't believe you would do this to me. After everything we've been through.''

Kurapika didn't speak, instead, he just looked at the ground as he shuffled his feet uncomfortably. You knew this was the end and the man in front of you didn't look like the man you fell in love with. It was like Rin had completely brainwashed him again.

It was over.

All of your hope was gone.

And you should have known.

You should have known Rin was going to steal him from you. She was going to do it and she would do whatever it took to get him to stay. She knew he couldn't leave his kid, so, she used it to get him to stay with her forever. She must have known that he would leave her once the two of you got in contact again.

She wanted you to know the two of them were going to marry. She wanted you to be in pain. She wanted you to go through the drama and she wanted you to have false hope. She wanted you to believe you were going to have him in the end, only to find out his mind was too weak to stay with you. Rin had too much control over him.

And she loved it. She loved to see you crumble apart. She loved to have something you wanted, she wanted to have something you desperately wanted. You were furious at her and you desperately wanted to feel angry at Kurapika too, but you couldn't.

Kurapika was a victim too. No matter what he did, no matter how bad he wanted to leave, he couldn't. He wasn't strong enough. He couldn't win the fight against Rin, no matter how hard he tried.

It was hopeless.

And everything was for nothing.

All of the happy memories flashed through your mind and you couldn't help but continue crying. All of the happy memories crumbled right in front of you. Everything collapsed right in front of you. It was like your happiness was getting drained out of your body.

You lost him.

Again.

After the long fight, you lost. It was Rin's victory. And even if it looked like everything was dramatic and it wouldn't hurt so much. It did, because you knew after the wedding, if Rin even wanted you to come, you wouldn't get to see him again. Never. She was going to keep him away from you.

You felt so angry.

''Why?'' you sobbed, wiping your tears away with your sleeves until you realised it was useless. The tears weren't going to stop coming. ''Why are you doing this to me? Didn't you say you were going to stay with me, Kurapika? You promised me.''

''I'm sorry.''

''A sorry isn't going to fix anything! You gave me hope... You gave me all this false hope and you think a simple 'sorry' is going to fix it? Why are you back with her?''

Kurapika tried his best to find the words, only to find out he didn't have any. He couldn't give you an answer because he simply didn't know. He didn't know why he was staying. He could leave Rin and still see his kid. But he was afraid of all the things Rin would do. He was afraid of her.

And that is why he was going to stay with her.

Kurapika opened his mouth, ready to say something, but ended up closing it again. he couldn't put his feelings into words.

Don't get him wrong, he also desperately wanted to be with you. Maybe it had to do with Rin telling him he wasn't allowed to see his kid if he leaves her, although she meant it as a joke, Kurapika believed it. Because at this point, nobody knew if Rin was serious or not.

She messed with everyone's mind.

He had so many questions for her, but he wasn't sure if he should ask her. Not sure if he got her truth, or the actual truth. Nothing made sense, none of it. Leorio, who Kurapika knew was a doctor even told him he is the father.

Kurapika is the father and there was no way it was someone else's. They'd done all of the tests. It was his.

''Forgive me,'' Kurapika mumbled, stupefied.

''F-Forgive you?'' you stammered and you widened your eyes when you saw Kurapika take a step towards you, wrapping his arms around your body. He let out a ragged breath, also allowing the tears to roll down his cheeks. He was crying too now.

The both of you, hearts broken and minds damaged, giving each other one last piece of affection. He held you ever so gently, but still with so much strength as if he was afraid you'd fade away if he'd let go. Both of you wanted this hug to last forever.

Two hearts, two souls in pain.

The hug was like a goodbye, at least it felt like it. You two kept sobbing as you tried your best to accept the cruel fate. Manipulation had won, the two of you too weak to keep on fighting. But at least the two of you were finally able to say you fought for each other until the end.

You fought for him. And he had fought for you.

''Tell me,'' you mumbled into his chest. You heard him breathe in a sharp breath before exhaling loudly.

''Tell you what?''

''Tell me what you said to me before we kissed again for the first time some time ago.''

''I said, marry me.''


	42. Chapter 42

— 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆.

✯¸.•'*¨'*•✿ Epilogue ✿•*'¨*'•.¸✯

You were lying if you said you were looking forward to it. A moment like this, supposed to be so special, was one of the worst days of your life. It had been a few months since you had last seen Kurapika, a pain still lingering in your body from the last moment you saw him.

You had tried your best to move on— forced yourself even. But with no success. You couldn't do it, and that was normal. It was realistic. If you couldn't do it in nine years, then how would you be able to do it in just a few months?

Well, the circumstances were different this time. More damage had been done and more pain was there.

You had tried ways to move on, like hooking up with other people and throwing away every picture you had with Kurapika. All of it was a waste because, in the end, the feelings didn't leave. In those few months of being away from Kurapika, you had been at your worst. The only reason you were eating was because Azami forced you to eat and the only reason you didn't lock yourself up in your room was because Azami didn't let you.

You were going through a heartbreak more painful than you had ever imagined. It was almost unbearable. But you forced yourself to get through it. You had no other choice, Kurapika had already made his.

Today was the day of the wedding, a day you had hoped would never come. You had tried to make yourself believe— tried to reassure yourself this whole time that this day wasn't going to come. You had hoped for a truth that wouldn't be this heartbreaking.

But life is tough.

You stood in front of the mirror, wearing the dress Rin had sent to you.

You were her bridesmaid after all.

And now it felt even worse, being her bridesmaid. It felt even worse because now you knew Rin only did this to see you sink even further into deep darkness. She only did this to make you feel worse and more upset. That was the only reason why she asked you to be her bridesmaid in the first place.

Azami was already on his way to the wedding venue. You wanted some time alone before you went there. You wanted some time to get some strength before it was all probably going to get broken down. You didn't want to show your weakness to Rin again, so, you had to try and be strong.

But now you finally arrived at the venue, a beautiful looking place. The whole place was decorated with gorgeous flowers and little lights. You knew Rin had a special love for flowers and you knew you could expect a bunch of them at her wedding.

The wedding was going to go like this; you would first see Rin and have a talk with her because she wanted it. The processional begins with bridesmaids and groomsmen walking down the aisle, typically paired up. The maid of honour and best man walk down after all other bridesmaids and groomsmen have made their way down the aisle. After that Kurapika will walk down the aisle, and after that Rin will, holding your mothers hand.

''This way,'' a beautiful girl walked next to you to the room Rin was waiting at. A knot tied in your stomach and it felt like you were going to throw up any second. You knocked on the door, three times to be exact. Rin quickly opened it and let you inside.

''I'm so happy you're here!'' she chirped and you narrowed your eyes as you sat down. She looked absolutely stunning. Her beautiful dress complimented her baby bump perfectly and her hair was beautifully put up into a bun with a petunia flower holding everything together. She looked like a princess.

You didn't say a word to her because of the way your words would probably come out as sobs. ''This is the best day of my life,'' she said. Joyfully she laughed, with such a vibrato it sounded as if she was trying to harmonize with herself.

''I'm so happy I'm marrying the man of my dreams!'' she lost no time to add.

You tried to look as deadly serious as you could manage. Pain and anger welled up inside of you again, no matter how hard you tried to put my feelings away for today, you couldn't. So, you just kept quiet.

Because sometimes words aren't the right words to say.

She continued her deafening laughter as she looked at herself in the mirror, happiness radiated off her and she caressed her baby bump lovingly. You couldn't even get yourself to be happy for her, simply because you weren't and you didn't even want to be.

''Oh, I forgot to tell you, Y/N,'' she began, ''I hope you don't mind, but after everything... it would be a little awkward if you were my bridesmaid, wouldn't it be? I got you a seat in the front row, so you can still see everything perfectly.''

Your heart ached and you shook your head with a troubled expression before taking a deep breath. ''That's fine,'' you managed to breathe out. You wanted to add more, like, trying to wish her a happy day but you decided not to. You didn't think she deserved it anyway.

''Ah, also, Kurapika wants to see you before I get married to him. I know— ..awkward, right?'' she laughed, ''he's in the room next to this one.''

You nodded, nausea filling your stomach as you stood up and left her room. You knocked on the door that was apparently Kurapika's room and he opened it before letting you inside. It was awkward, a tension lingering in the room so thick you could cut it with a knife. The two of you didn't say a word to each other, which made everything even worse.

He wore a black suit and his hair was pulled into Azami's usual hairstyle. It looked cute on him, you weren't going to admit it. And you hated it. You hated it because it made your heart go crazy and all you wanted to do at the moment was pull him into a heartening kiss.

You missed him.

You felt horrible it wasn't you who was going to marry him.

A single purple hyacinth was tucked smoothly into the pocket of his blazer. He held a yellow carnation and a marigold flower into his hand as he took a step toward you, handing you over the two beautifully delicate flowers. You took them from him and looked into his eyes, your own watering up as you couldn't take them off him.

You were going to miss him so much.

Words couldn't even describe what you were feeling. Anger, sadness, regret and so much more. You nodded once before swallowing thickly, swallowing your words. You smiled one last time at Kurapika, who looked so unhappy. So empty.

You turned around and left the room. Kurapika sighed, closing his eyes tightly as he bit his bottom lip harshly.

''In another life, Y/N,'' he whispered.

You walked over to the big room where all of the people were sitting on benches. Everyone was waiting for the bride and the groom to walk down the aisle, to let the special things happen. All you were doing was praying for it to be all a nightmare. You wanted to wake up next to Kurapika, all of this being a nightmare.

You sat down next to Azami, who looked at you with worry in his eyes. You felt him wrap his arm around your shoulder and pull you into a hug. A warm embrace you desperately needed now.

After everything you had been through, after all the pain you had felt these months, there wasn't a thing you could do to change it. Kurapika meant everything to you, but maybe he wasn't meant to be with you.

Maybe it was better like this.

But why did it have to hurt so much?

Why did the person you loved so much have to marry someone else?

You didn't realise you were crying until you felt the teardrops fall down onto your cheeks. You sobbed, whining quietly into Azami's chest as he pulled you even closer. You couldn't accept the truth. You couldn't believe your last moment with Kurapika would be him marrying someone else.

Someone who did this purely with ill intent.

You looked up at Azami, who looked at you with a sweet smile. He wore a black suit and in the pocket of his jacket were three flowers. A yellow chrysanthemum, a black rose and a red spider lily. The three flowers carefully tucked into the pocket of his blazer, just like Kurapika's.

He pats your head and everyone's chatter fell silent as soft music started to play. The bridesmaids, groomsmen, the maid of honour and the best man walked down the aisle. After that came the ring bearer.

No flower girl was following them. Flowers of meaning had already been scattered around.

Everyone's head turned around and you did the same. The music stopped for a second and your eyes locked with Kurapika as he gave you one last gloomy smile. You felt your heartbreak into a million pieces. You didn't know what to do. You wanted to scream. You wanted to cry.

But most of all, you wanted to go back in time and do everything right. You wanted to undo your mistakes and fight for him from the start.

He meant everything to you.

People will think you're crazy for still loving him, but they don't and won't understand. You want him back. At night when the stars light up your room, you sit by yourself as you stare up at the sky. Hoping everything will be okay one day. Hoping you will have him one day, although you knew it was useless. You were talking to the stars, to the moon, hoping your words would reach him as you were sobbing in pain.

Everyone probably thinks you've gone mad. But they don't know what you've been through and what you've felt. The person who always gave you comfort, the person you felt like was the one for you, is marrying someone else. After this day, you weren't going to see him again. You wanted him to be strong and fight back. But you knew that was merely a simple dream with no way of it ever being reality.

There is no happy end to this story.

Music started to play again and Kurapika started to walk. You bit your bottom lip harshly. Tears started to stream down your cheeks and it wasn't because you were happy. It wasn't like that at all. It is far from that.

''I love you,'' you whisper under your breath as the love of your life walks down the aisle to marry another woman.

𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

𝐀 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐦 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐞.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I hope you had fun reading (: 
> 
> I'm also on wattpad, (I came from there) username is the same if you wanna check me out!
> 
> It's my first time uploading something on this site. Please tell me if I'm doing something wrong! (:


End file.
